Quest For Love

20/01/2025

Should Childless People date Single Parents? Chapter III

I’ve previously mentioned why I strongly discourage childless people to date single parents in previous posts (check my page for those aforementioned posts). That was chapters I and II. Keep reading to learn more in the final chapter.

Should a woman have the right to not deal with potential ex drama, who is conveniently always coming out the shower room with nothing but a towel wrapped around as baby Junior is getting picked up? Or deal with the inevitable result of one going back to their ex for the sake of the baby?

Don’t get me started on the lack of time and attention that’ll be available to you as the focus has to be on an innocent child, right? What will you do, complain and throw a hissy fit? Argue with him that you don’t see him enough and that you miss him? Tell him that he spends too much time with his child, his legacy? Now, who’s the immature and selfish one? (Mhmhhm, not you, right?!)
Can’t really fight that one, I’m afraid. It’s a losing battle, a sinking ship.

From a man’s point of view, he has to worry about raising, loving and providing for a child that *very likely* may throw it back in his face someday by screaming “YOurE Not mY daD!” when little Johnny doesn’t get his own way. Now what does he do?

Fellas, contemplate if you’re truly ready to step up and be a step father, to do the right things, not quit no matter what happens. Ensure you work hard and have your finances in order as there’s more mouths to feed on your income and maybe, your income alone if she’s a SAHM.

A lot of men secretly despise the step daddy duty inside but in order to look honourable and man-ly in the face of society, they will say that they are happy to rise to the challenge (somebody’s got to do it, right?) Just be honest with yourselves. That’s all I ask.

I know some people will disagree with my post and that’s fair if you do, but I will stick to my guns with my beliefs on this one. Feel free to share your views.

—Ella xo

14/01/2025

Should Childless People date Single Parents? Chapter II

With the clock ticking much sooner for a woman’s biological clock compared to a man’s one, there will always be that element of haste from a particular age. Some say that after a certain point, there are just too many single parents out there that also need love.

I agree, however, hear me out; if there are so many single mothers and fathers roaming about and ready to be plucked from the lurve tree, then why can’t they just date and marry each other? Would it not make more sense to focus on helping people with common interests and lifestyles come and stay together? (Enter Q4L).

Why is there so much emphasis on matching single parents with childless people? Hmm. It seems strange.

And goodness forbid that you don’t want to take the deal and instead hedge your bets on waiting on another childless person to come your way, now you’re a demon, a spawn from the pits of the underground! Stay tuned for chapter II.


—Ella xo

10/01/2025

Question of the day: Should Childless People date Single Parents? Chapter I

Is it just me or does society seem to have some obsession with pairing childless women with men who are fathers? Surely, it’d make more sense for two people who are on a similar path in life to connect? To create a bond together for the time that can’t be competed or compared with?

Plenty first time parents say it’s a feeling like no other, to see your child, your creation, your blood in the flesh in your arms with their big Bambi eyes staring at you, as if they know you were sent to protect and love them. How could you possibly compare? (Not that you’d want to.) That’s their baby, their precious cargo.

Nonetheless, it’s a precious cargo that you’d rather take your time carrying with the help of a suitable mate who can feel everything and appreciate all the little steps in the journey at the same pace as you since it’s their first also. It’s a different type of pressure that doesn’t need explaining because you both simply ✨get it✨.

I’ll talk to you more about this later on as for now I’m due a mani- pedi and I can’t type and enjoy my experience at the same time. I need complete concentration if I’m going to get these French tips just right. TTYL 💅🏾

—Ella xo

06/01/2025

Question of the day: What is considered a High Earning Man in the U.K?

Ladies, a quick Google search states that the average income for an adult working full time across the UK was £37,000 in 2024, with slight variations across the different regions. It also changes depending on your gender with women making £34,000 and men making more, around £40,000.

With this in mind, what do women expect a high earner to make? What’s the threshold? The lowest wage that’s acceptable? Are we still considering 5 figures to be in that category or is it a must to be 6 figures or higher? What about his financial literacy? Is it better to be with a man who makes less than 6 figures but is debt free and has savings, maybe even some small investments or does that not matter? Could he be an investment banker living in London making £180,000 but has a gambling addiction and is occasionally known to drop everything so he can go on a business-class trip to the Bahamas for a break?

A good rule of thumb that I advise women to follow is the £20,000+ rule; this rule stipulates that whatever you’re making right now, the man of your dreams must make at least £20,000 more on top of that, MINIMUM! I find that this rule allows women to date hypergamously, albeit slightly, whilst still being realistic with their standards.

Nothing worse than a woman making £20,000 annually who INSISTS on only dating men in the 6 figure range. At least get nearby to that bracket yourself before requiring this from somebody else. All this does is tell a man that you may need psychological support due to being de-lu-lu! (I jest)

✨And just FYI stats according to various sources on the internet:

- Top 1% earners in the UK make £182k+
- Top 2% earners in the UK make £100k+
- Top 4% earners in the UK make £70+
- Top 10% earners in the UK make £58.8k+ (the high earner amount).

Do with that information as you please. ✨

So remember, ladies, always date UP and OUT of your comfort zone but within YOUR own bounds.



— Ella xo

https://www.statista.com/statistics/416139/full-time-annual-salary-in-the-uk-by-region/

02/01/2025

It’s officially a New Year! Have a think of all the things you’d like to improve on moving forward and the things that went well last year that you’d like to carry with you and amplify. These could be personal, professional or just random miscellaneous things. I implore you to think of the 3:3 rule: three positive things you like about yourself and you’d like to keep doing and then three things you’d like to work on, your flaws and shortcomings. The 3:3 that inevitably will make you the perfect partner to your ‘person’. Write them down and don’t be afraid to get to work. These are the crucial steps that will ensure you find not just your purpose in life but also yourself. Once you’re whole and ready, that’s when ✨he/she✨ will enter in your life, and not a moment sooner. You can’t receive something you’re not prepared for. It’d be like expecting a toddler to calculate the Pythagorean theorem! Ludicrous!
So, in the words of the famous philosopher, Britney J. Spears; “Work, BXTCH!”


—Ella xo

18/12/2024

🗣️THIS ONE IS FOR THE BOYS AT THE FRONT & THE ONES AT THE BACK! 🗣️

What does it Mean To Be A Modern Gentleman?

1. A Gentleman is Imperfect and understands this well; that is does not lie in one believing himself to be perfect, but instead takes ownership and responsibility for the things he can control: his actions, knowledge, and approach to the world.

2. A Gentleman Has High Standards, therefore he expects a high standard of quality, value, and functionality from the things he buys to the things he does. He expects as much of himself as he does of other people.

3. A Gentleman is Well dressed as this points to his pride because it demonstrates his personality, his taste in social living/ standing and of course, women.

4. A Gentleman Has Good Manners. This means he is courteous, polite, and respectful.

5. A Gentleman is Open Minded to learning new things, new ideas and accepts constructive criticism for inner growth.

6. A Gentleman’s Actions Match His Words. Quite simply, a gentleman makes promises that he intends to keep.

7. A Gentleman Treats People with Respect: When we say people, we mean everyone – women, colleagues, superiors, waitstaff and customer service people. This reflects a gentleman’s belief that all people are created equal; he does not claim to have more or fewer rights than those around him.

8. A Gentleman Recognizes the Difference Between Arrogance and Confidence. A gentleman believes in himself and his abilities independently of other people (confidence). An arrogant man must always win to feel validated while a gentleman self-validates from within.

To read the accurate and full article, please click on the source link below https://www.gentlemansgazette.com/gentleman-what-it-means-today/

(N.B. that the above article includes the original post from the source and some extra ✨spice✨ from my own perspective)

We discuss the essence of being a modern day gentleman and the challenges of being one.

15/12/2024

A random couple gazing lovingly into each others eyes. The weather, the matching outfits, what’s not to love? (Maybe her earrings!)

—Ella

10/12/2024

They say blondes have more fun, but is that really the case? What about the brunettes, the curly Afros or that fiery red head with gorgeous green eyes whose aura is enough to make any man turn his head? Does the hairstyle you have determine the kind of man you will attract?

Black women speak on the reality that when they have a more Eurocentric style ie straight, long hair they tend to attract the darker melanated men. On the other hand, when they decide to let their natural fros speak for themselves, it’s more of the Caucasian or Asian men who approach them. But what is that about?

Perhaps something can be said about the fact that opposites do attract… European men are not used to seeing the women from their race have Afros and kinky curly locs so it’s something different, something to ponder on and lean into. The same can be said for black men possibly having a preference for straighter hair, because again, they’re not used to their women having those textures.

Now, ladies, it all comes down to who you want to attract, the type of man and calibre of that man should affect how you style your hair. Maybe we should all experiment with our hair until we get a general consensus on what produces the best results because I certainly can’t speak on which style is best (if there’s any). I might give it a go and just get crazy. After all, I do have options on how I’d like to look.

—Ella.

06/12/2024

Question of the Day: Should a man ask a lady what she brings to the table?

Ahh, the age old question; what do you bring to the hypothetical table? It’s easy peasy for a man to answer this, but when it comes to the women, it’s a potential stumbling block to finding love. Should a woman bring anything to the table and if so, what? Personally, I’d say yes. A person, any person should bring something to the mix. A pretty face, youth and a fit body can only get you so far.

Are you going to be a wise, morally decent woman who can raise his children in the ‘right’ way, will you instil happiness, love and support in his life or will you be a tornado of toxicity and chaos? Paying attention to your partners needs is a masterclass in itself.

Be wise, even if it’s just common sense, so you can be someone he can have an intelligent conversation with. Be funny and witty, quick with his type of banter to keep him entertained in other ways besides the bedroom-friendly ways has always been a winner.

Lastly, I’d say the typical traditional role of cooking a delicious meal every night (or almost every night) would add some brownie points to your dating CV.

Remember ladies, the HVM (High Value Man/Men) say they want a simple life with a woman who will make their lives easier, not harder after a long day of grinding. Let the connection between the two of you flow with ease and just be your natural, feminine soft and caring selves and the rest shall fall into place. You will naturally bring your ‘caring, loving’ selves to the table without hesitation when a man does what he’s supposed to do in a relationship without being forced to do so. Until the next post, stay safe.

— Ella.