Families Fit4Heaven

15/11/2024

BECOMING YOUR CHILD'S SAFE HAVEN AND CONFIDANT.
As parents, we have the profound responsibility—and privilege—of being our children’s closest allies. Beyond providing for their physical needs, we are called to nurture their hearts, to become their confidants, and to guide them through life’s complexities with love and wisdom.

Recently, I had a heartwarming yet eye-opening moment with my 7-year-old son. He started a conversation about girlfriends and boyfriends—a topic that surprised me, considering his age. In our family, we’ve instilled the value that relationships like that are best saved for when one is mature and ready for marriage. But as I listened, I realized my son was navigating a situation that felt bigger than himself.

Midway through our chat, he hesitated, saying, “I shouldn’t even be telling you this, Mom. It’s a secret.” Alarm bells went off in my heart. Why was my child feeling the weight of secrecy? With patience and gentle encouragement, he eventually opened up: a close friend from church had shared a "secret crush" and made my son promise not to tell anyone.

In that moment, I knew this wasn’t just about a harmless schoolyard crush. It was an opportunity to teach my son an invaluable lesson: secrecy that excludes parents is often a warning sign. Together, we talked about the importance of transparency in our relationship and how to navigate situations where friends or others might ask him to hide things from his parents.

Why am I sharing this? Because this scenario isn’t unique. Many children, feeling the pull of loyalty to friends, have kept secrets that unknowingly opened the door to harmful influences—whether it be peer pressure, bullying, or exposure to things they’re not ready for, like substance abuse, risky behaviors, or even crime.

As parents, our role isn’t just to discipline or correct; it’s to disciple. To do that, we must first earn our children’s trust and hearts. When we build a foundation of love, openness, and safety, we equip them to come to us with their fears, struggles, and mistakes. We become their sounding boards for questions about temptation, doubt, and morality.

Here are a few ways we can foster that environment:

-Be Present: Make time to actively listen to your children without judgment or distraction.

-Create Safe Spaces: Let your child know they can talk to you about anything, even difficult or uncomfortable topics.

-Teach Red Flags: Equip them to recognize situations where secrecy or isolation might be harmful.

-Encourage Honesty: Assure them that they’ll always be met with love, not anger, when they come to you.

-Model Transparency: Share age-appropriate experiences from your own life to show them it’s okay to make mistakes and seek guidance.

Parenting isn’t about perfection; it’s about connection. When we disciple our children, we’re not just raising them to navigate life’s challenges—we’re shaping their character for eternity. And when we capture their hearts, we unlock the ability to guide them more deeply and effectively through every season of life.

Let’s commit to parenting with purpose, creating homes where trust and love reign supreme, and ensuring our children know they are never alone.

30/07/2023

Let your children enjoy their childhood

‘I will lead on slowly, at the pace of…the children.’
Genesis 33:14 ESV

Today there is a tendency on the part of some parents to try and make their children grow up too quickly. They rush them through the milestones of childhood and thrust them into the turmoil of adolescence. This is the conclusion of developmental psychologist Dr David Elkind, who called this cultural phenomenon the ‘Hurried Child Syndrome’. It happens when parents encourage their children to act like teenagers, such as buying make-up for pre-school girls, allowing early-teenage dating, treating kids more like grown-ups, expecting them to make adult-level choices, dressing them in designer clothes, and especially, subjecting them to graphic sexuality in television, music videos, movies, and the internet.

Years ago, parents understood the necessity of a safe and orderly progression through childhood. There were cultural markers that defined the ages at which specific behaviours and activities were deemed appropriate or inappropriate. Today these markers have vanished, or they have been moved downwards. And it can be a big mistake.

When you treat your children as if they’re already grown, it becomes very challenging to set limits on their adolescent behaviour in the near future. How can you establish a curfew for a thirteen-year-old, for example, who has been taught to view himself or herself as an adult? In short, the ‘Hurried Child Syndrome’ deprives our kids of childhood and puts them on an unnatural timetable that’s detrimental to their mental and physical health. If you’re wise, you will heed the advice of Jacob to his brother Esau: ‘I will lead on slowly, at the pace of…the children.’

Credit: UBC Word For Today

26/07/2023

Showing love and respect

‘Love one another…giving precedence and showing honour to one another.’
Romans 12:10 AMPC

One of the first signs of trouble in a marriage is taking each other for granted. And it happens subtly, like a w**d growing up and choking a rose.

Dr James Dobson writes: 'One of the best ways to keep a marriage healthy is to maintain a system of mutual accountability within the context of love. This is done by protecting what I call the “line of respect”…Let me illustrate. Suppose I work in my office two hours longer than usual…knowing that my wife, Shirley, is at home preparing a special candlelight dinner. If I don’t call to let her know I’ll be late, you can bet that I’m going to hear about it when I get home. Shirley would see my behaviour as insulting – and she’d be right. So she’d say, in effect, “Jim, what you did was selfish, and I can’t let it pass.” In those few words, and probably a few more, she would have spoken her mind in love and held me accountable for my disrespect. Then we would move on together.

'In a healthy marriage, some things are worth defending, and mutual respect is at the top of the list. This doesn’t mean you should nag, insult, publicly embarrass your mate, or point out insignificant indiscretions that should be overlooked. But a workable system of “checks and balances” can keep your marriage on course when issues of respect are at stake. This kind of mutual accountability is the best way I know to avoid an unexpected explosion when stored resentment and anger reach a critical mass.’ So: ‘Love one another…giving precedence and showing honour to one another.’

Credit: UBC word for today.

01/07/2023

The chief and most damaging competing attachment that undermines parenting authority and parental love is the increasing bonding of our children with their peers.

01/07/2023

Such courage is needed today to protect our children from social engineering. Teaching children tolerance and respect for everyone and brainwashing them are two different things. More of us parents need to speak up to safeguard our children. As Christians, we believe in what the the bible teaches that "Male and Female He created us" and should be able to teach it to our children without being called bigots or homophobes.

24/06/2023

"HEAVEN ISN'T WORTH GOING TO IF WE WON'T BE ABLE TO EAT CHICKEN".

It broke my heart hearing the kids in our son's class almost unanimously say they weren't interested in heaven and all it has to offer if they won't be able to eat chicken there. Many were horrified at the idea that nothing would ever die in heaven and that like our first parents in the garden of Eden, we will be on a plant based diet for eternity.

In other words, for these kids, eternity in heaven isn't worth it if there is no meat on the menu. These are Christian children being raised in Christian homes and they would rather miss heaven than give up eating chicken???

Our first parents fell on the test of appetite, Jesus's first temptation after His baptism was on the issue of appetite and for many of us professed Christians, the issue of appetite will be our very downfall and the reason that many of us will miss heaven.

As Seventh Day Adventists, we have been given the health message to share with the world. It is the right hand of the Three Angels Message which is our very manifesto and that should be central to our teachings....and yet our kids would rather miss heaven than go without meat?

Phillipians 3: 18-21 reminds us; For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

If we keep quiet, the very stones will cry out. I pray we will realise the seriousness of our calling and teach our children that nothing is worth missing heaven for, least of all chicken.

When God freed Israel from their Egyptian slavery, one of the first things he did was place them on a vegetarian diet composed of manna from heaven. That is because there is a direct link between our diet and our spirituality. As we approach our heavenly Canaan, God wants to clean up our diet so we can be ready to stand in the last day as we get ready to meet our Lord. May we not harden our hearts as did our forefathers many of whom were lost. Only two of the group of about 2,000,000 who left Egypt eterered the promised land.

"Among those who are waiting for the coming of the Lord, meat eating will eventually be done away; flesh will cease to form a part of their diet. We should ever keep this end in view, and endeavor to work steadily toward it. I cannot think that in the practice of flesh eating we are in harmony with the light which God has been pleased to give us. All who are connected with our health institutions especially should be educating themselves to subsist on fruits, grains, and vegetables. If we move from principle in these things, if we as Christian reformers educate our own taste, and bring our diet to God's plan, then we may exert an influence upon others in this matter, which will be pleasing to God"(1890) C.T.B.H. 119 651

Written by Vivien Mwanakaaba

18/06/2023

Happy Father’s Day to all dads. Remember you occupy a pivotal position in the divine order of things. While it is important that you put food on the table, your success as a father will not be measured by how much food you put on the table, the size of the roof over their heads, or the labels on their clothing. Your success as a Father will be measured by how many of your family members you will bring into the Kingdom of God as a result of your selfless and sacrificial love. The primary responsibility of a father is to imitate Christ. You were created and raised for such a time as this. Heaven is counting on you. You are not successful until you succeed in your primary position as the Priest of your family. Happy Father’s Day! - "Isaac Kubvoruno"

17/06/2023

17/06/2023

Hearing our son tell a boy he was playing with in the park today about David and Goliath while the boy was desperately trying to tell him about Harry Potter and zombies was an object lesson on the great controversy that's currently raging between good and evil. If we don't take the time to teach our children, the devil will teach them for us and he can use other kids in the playground, at school or even at church. We are in a battle zone and the battle is for ours and our kid's souls.

Now more than ever, we need to keep our children close to us and to the Lord and teach them God's word more diligently than we have ever done before. Let us not let it depart from our lips day and night. Satan knows his time is short and is intensifying his devices to deceive even the very elect.

11/06/2023

"GOD IS BOTH MALE AND FEMALE AND WE CAN ALSO CALL HIM OUR MOTHER"

This is the absurdity and blasphemy I heard from a fellow church goer today and what is worrying is that they have the potential to plant these dangerous, mind bending erroneous ideas in our children's minds. I left that conversation flabbergasted and made two resolutions:

1. We need to be people of the book, sola scriptura. The bible and the bible alone will keep us safe from deception during these last days when the tide of spiritualism sweeps the entire world preparing many to receive the mark of the beast. If we don't spend time fortifying your minds with truths from the bible, we most certainly will be deceived and ultimately lost.

2. We need to hold onto our children closely and be present during all their classes at church, ask what they have been taught and teach them the truth from God's word. Satan wants to deceive our kids and will use some so called Christian teachers to twist God's word and confuse the minds of our children which are so impressionable.

We simply can't afford to outsource the teaching of these precious children who have been entrusted to us by God to anyone else because deception is so rampant. It is something we have to do ourselves and prioritise above everything else including our careers as God will require us to give an account. Be very weary of anyone trying to pull your kids aside and away from your as their parents trying to win their trust, even if they seem well intentioned. Lots of children have been lost in church to wolves in sheep's clothing. May God help us to be present, hands on parents as we prepare ourselves and our families for our heavenly home. 🙏🙏

10/06/2023

"Male and female he created them".