Help from mummy and Ruby

24/09/2026

🏫💛 WHEN SCHOOL ISN’T WORKING – WHAT CAN I ACTUALLY DO? 💛🏫

🧩 POST 3 — REASONABLE ADJUSTMENTS: WHAT ARE THEY ACTUALLY?

I think this is going to be one of the most useful posts in this series.

Because when child is struggling with school, so much of the conversation can become:

“How do we get them through the door?”

“How do we get them to cope?”

“How do we get them to do what everyone else is doing?”

But sometimes we need to change the question.

👉 What is making this harder for my child than it is for other children — and what could reasonably be changed?

That is where reasonable adjustments come in.

And they are not just a nice little extra a school can offer if they feel like it.

⚖️ There is a legal duty here.

Under the Equality Act 2010, schools have a duty to make reasonable adjustments for disabled pupils where something the school does puts that child at a substantial disadvantage compared with pupils who are not disabled.

❌ Your child does NOT need an EHCP before reasonable adjustments can apply.

The Equality Act has its own definition of disability.

Broadly, it means a physical or mental impairment which has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on normal day-to-day activities.

Long-term generally means it has lasted, or is likely to last, 12 months or more.

And another important point…

🧩 SEND and disability are not exactly the same thing.

Some children with SEN will meet the Equality Act definition of disability.

Some won’t.

And some disabled children won’t necessarily have SEN.

So please don’t think:

“No EHCP = no rights.”

That is not how this works.

💡 SO WHAT IS A REASONABLE ADJUSTMENT?

If the usual way school does something puts your disabled child at a substantial disadvantage, school may need to look at doing it differently.

That could mean changing:

📝 A rule
📋 A routine
🏫 The way something is normally done
👩‍🏫 The support provided
🧰 Or providing an aid/service to help the child access school

⏰ THE DUTY IS ANTICIPATORY.

Meaning school shouldn’t always be waiting until a child has completely fallen apart before thinking:

“Maybe we should change something.”

If there is already a known barrier, schools should be thinking ahead about what might help reduce that disadvantage.

🧩 WHAT COULD A REASONABLE ADJUSTMENT LOOK LIKE?

There is no one magic list because every child is different.

But examples might include:

🚪 Using a quieter entrance instead of the busy main gate

⏰ Arriving slightly earlier or later

👩‍🏫 Being met by a trusted adult

📸 Visual information or photos about what is going to happen

📋 A visual timetable

🔄 Advance warning of changes

🎧 Ear defenders or a quieter space

🪑 Different seating

✍️ A different way of recording work

🗣️ Instructions being broken down or given visually as well as verbally

⏳ Extra processing time

🧠 Movement or regulation breaks

🚽 Flexible toilet access

👕 Uniform adjustments where disability creates a barrier

🍽️ Adjustments around food or lunchtime

🤫 Eating somewhere quieter

🏃 Changes around PE or certain activities

🚌 Adjustments around trips

📚 Extra support or equipment to access learning

📝 Adjustments to how behaviour policies are applied where disability creates a disadvantage

And sometimes it can be something that sounds really small…

but makes a MASSIVE difference to that child.

💛 Different child.

Different barrier.

Different adjustment.

🧩 THAT is the whole point.

And reasonable adjustments can be especially important for children struggling with attendance.

If your child is refusing school, becoming distressed at the gate, falling apart at home or unable to access parts of the day…

the conversation shouldn’t ONLY be:

“How do we improve attendance?”

We need to ask:

👀 What is the barrier?

🚪 Is the entrance overwhelming?

👥 Is the playground too busy?

📢 Is noise a problem?

🍽️ Is lunchtime too much?

📅 Is a particular day worse?

🧑‍🏫 Is there a particular lesson or transition causing problems?

💥 Are behaviour expectations failing to take account of disability?

Because if we don’t understand the barrier…

we’re just guessing at solutions.

And this links PERFECTLY with my last post about keeping a diary. 📔

Your diary might show:

Every Monday is awful.

Or:

They get through the gate if one particular adult meets them.

Or:

School say they’re fine, but every dining-hall day ends in a huge meltdown at home.

That information can help you work out what might need to change.

💛 THIS is what reasonable adjustments should be about.

Not giving a child special treatment.

Not making things easier because they “don’t like” something.

But asking:

🧩 What is putting this child at a disadvantage?

🧩 And what could reasonably change to help them access school?

👇 PARENTS — what adjustment has made the biggest difference for your child?

A quiet entrance?

Uniform changes?

Movement breaks?

A trusted adult?

Different lunch arrangements?

Something completely different?

Pop it below because I think the comments on this one could give other parents LOADS of ideas. 💛

📌 SAVE THIS ONE.

Because in the next post I’m going to cover:

📧 How to ask for reasonable adjustments
📑 What to put in writing
🤝 What to take to a meeting
✍️ Getting adjustments recorded
🚫 And what to do if school says no

24/09/2026

Important information for families due to reapply before March 2027!

🚨 Update on the Support for Families with Disabled Children (SFDC) programme in England.

From today (24 September 2026) until the end of March 2027, the programme will only be open to families applying for the first time. This is due to very high levels of applications.

This change is being made so that available funding can reach as many families as possible who have not yet had support through the programme. If you have already sent an application before today, we will continue to review and process this as usual.

You can continue to access information and wider support through our website > https://www.familyfund.org.uk/support/

Image description: Text which says: 'Important update about the SFDC programme'.

23/09/2026

💛 A LITTLE FOLLOW-UP FROM YESTERDAY… 💛

I just wanted to say a massive thank you for all the lovely messages, comments and support after my post yesterday. 🥹💛

I really mean that.

This community is one of the things I’m most proud of, because when you have one of those really hard meetings… one of those days where you come away questioning yourself, your parenting, your decisions, everything…

it is SO easy to get stuck in that horrible headspace of:

💭 “I’m alone.”

💭 “No one gets it.”

💭 “Maybe it is me.”

And yesterday, you lot helped pull me out of that.

So thank you. 💛

I’ve had a word with myself today 😂 and I do feel much better and a lot more positive.

Because the truth is…

💪 we can’t give up.

We are our children’s voices. 🗣️

Their advocates. ⚖️

Their admin. 📑

Their diary keepers. 📔

Their appointment chasers. 📞

Their therapists. 💛

The ones piecing together what happened, what changed, what might help, what needs chasing, what needs challenging and what needs saying AGAIN.

And there will always be professionals, services or people along the way who make you feel like crap.

there will be people who parent-blame.

Sometimes there will be people who make you feel like if your child is still struggling, then somehow you must not be doing enough.

And I think sometimes that happens because they’ve run out of ideas.

They don’t know what else to suggest.

They don’t know why the strategies haven’t worked.

They don’t know why your child is still struggling.

And instead of being able to say:

🤷‍♀️ “We don’t know yet.”

somehow the focus starts shifting onto the parent.

But I’m not accepting that.

❌ There is no value in blaming me.

❌ There is no value in blaming school.

❌ There is no value in blaming professionals.

❌ And there is absolutely no value in blaming Ruby.

💛 My child is struggling.

That is the fact.

And the job should be to try to understand WHY and work out what might actually help. 🧩

Not waste energy deciding whose fault it is.

Because honestly… that’s just bloody crazy.

🤝 We all need to be on the same side here.

The side that says:

“Okay. This isn’t working. What do we try next?”

That doesn’t mean I won’t have days where I feel defeated.

I will.

I’ll probably have loads of them 😂

But one bad meeting doesn’t get to define me as a mum.

One person’s opinion doesn’t get to define Ruby.

And one difficult day doesn’t mean we stop fighting for what she needs.

So yes…

🔥 I’m back. 😂💛

And if yesterday’s post showed the part of SEND parenting where you feel completely knocked down…

today is the bit where you get back up again. 💪

Not because you suddenly have all the answers.

Not because everything is fixed.

But because our children still need us.

And we can’t let one meeting, one comment or one person make us forget everything we know about our own child.

💛 Thank you for reminding me of that yesterday.

And if you’re reading this while YOU are the one feeling knocked down right now…

🫶 you are definitely not the only one.

This community gets it.

And sometimes just knowing that makes a massive difference. 💛

22/09/2026

REAL LIFE POST… 💛

This was me and Ruby when she was tiny… back when life felt so much simpler and I had the same hopes and dreams as every new parent.
And I’m not writing this with some positive ending or a helpful bit of advice because, if I’m completely truthful…

I feel like s**t.

I had Ruby’s CIN meeting today.

I came out of that meeting feeling like I’m failing.

Like somehow I’m the problem.

Like everyone on the call probably thinks this is a parenting problem and if I could just do something differently, try another technique, manage things better…

Maybe everything would be okay.

And I KNOW that’s probably my own head going into overdrive.

Nobody actually sat there and said “You’re failing Ruby.”

But that’s how I went away feeling.

And that’s what people don’t always see about having professionals involved in your child’s life.

👥 Ruby has a LOT of professionals involved in her care.

For the last couple of years it feels like we’ve been referred from one person to another.

We explain everything again.

We try their ideas.

We try the strategies.

We have the meetings.

We wait.

We get referred somewhere else.

Then we explain everything again.

And when one person seems to run out of ideas…

➡️ we get moved onto the next.

And today I’ve come away asking myself..

What are we actually achieving?

Is all of this actually helping Ruby?

Are we moving forwards?

Or are we just moving around?

I don’t expect somebody to wave a magic wand.

I don’t expect anyone to suddenly make everything easy.

But sometimes I just want somebody to understand.

Really understand.

Not Ruby on paper.

Not Ruby through reports.

Not Ruby being discussed in a meeting.

Not a behaviour chart.

Not a referral.

Not a list of strategies we’ve already tried.

💛 Ruby.

The funny, loving, cheeky little girl underneath all of this who is struggling with something that often even I can’t understand.

And then my head starts going…

❓ Will anyone ever understand her?

❓ Will things ever actually get better?

❓ Is THIS going to be the support that finally helps?

Or are we going to try all the techniques, get to the end of somebody else’s list of ideas and then be moved on again?

And where does that leave Ruby?

Where does that leave us?

Because this is the side of SEND parenting people don’t see.

📅 Appointments.

📑 Referrals.

👥 Professionals.

📝 Meetings.

📋 Plans.

“Support.”

And sometimes from the outside it probably looks like…

“Wow, you’ve got loads of people involved.”

But having lots of professionals involved doesn’t automatically mean you feel supported.

Sometimes it means having your family discussed over and over again.

Your parenting discussed.

Your child’s behaviour discussed.

What happens inside your home discussed.

What you’ve tried.

What you haven’t tried.

What you should try next.

And you’re sitting there listening while people professionally discuss something that isn’t a case to you.

It’s your child.

It’s your family.

It’s your actual life.

And then the meeting ends.

Everyone goes back to their job.

🏠 And you go home and carry on living it.

Because professionals get snapshots.

They get reports.

They get meetings, phone calls, paperwork and pieces of the picture.

We live the whole picture.

There isn’t a meeting ending for us.

There isn’t a case note and then onto the next family.

This is our morning.

Our bedtime.

Our school run.

Our weekends.

Our nights.

Our good days.

Our really fu***ng hard days.

💛 Our little girl.

And sometimes you spend so long trying to prove that your child needs help that somewhere along the way you start wondering whether everyone actually thinks YOU’RE the problem.

You start questioning yourself.

Maybe I am doing something wrong?

Maybe I should be coping better?

Maybe I haven’t tried hard enough?

Maybe everyone else can see something I can’t?

💔 And that’s a horrible place to end up.

Because I KNOW Ruby better than anybody.

I’ve fought for her.

I’ve researched.

I’ve learned.

I’ve tried things I never thought I’d have to try.

I’ve sat through meetings I never imagined I’d be sitting in.

I’ve filled in forms.

I’ve chased referrals.

I’ve taken advice.

I’ve changed things.

I’ve tried again when something hasn’t worked.

And still today…

I came away feeling like I’m failing her.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel differently.

Maybe I’ll look at everything discussed today and see some positives.

But right now I don’t.

And I don’t want to pretend I do just because that’s the ending we’re supposed to put on posts like this.

Right now I’m tired.

I’m frustrated.

I’m questioning everything.

💛 THIS is SEND parenting too.

Not just the EHCP wins.

Not just getting the right support.

Not just appointments finally coming through.

Sometimes it’s sitting in your car after another meeting wondering whether any of this is actually making life better for your child.

Sometimes it’s feeling gaslit by systems you’ve spent years asking for help from.

Sometimes it’s having a room full of professionals involved and somehow still feeling completely alone.

And sometimes there isn’t a positive little bow to put on the end of it.

Today is one of those days.

I’m sharing this because I know I won’t be the only parent who’s walked out of a meeting and cried.

I won’t be the only one who’s questioned themselves afterwards.

And I definitely won’t be the only one who’s thought…

“Does anybody actually understand what our life is like?”

So no advice from me today.

No “here are five things you can do.”

Just me.

A mum who loves her little girl more than anything…

who is trying her absolute hardest…

and who, today, feels completely fu***ng lost. 💛

22/09/2026

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21/09/2026

💛📩 MESSAGE ME MONDAY! 📩💛

Well… September has definitely kept me busy. 😂

Between Ruby, school, running the page and supporting families behind the scenes, I don’t know where this month has gone!

My diary has filled up much quicker than I expected, so I wanted to give you a little availability update today.

📅 I’m now taking regular bookings from MID-OCTOBER onwards.

Between now and then, I only have a very small number of emergency/urgent slots that I’m keeping available for things that genuinely can’t wait.

But PLEASE don’t read that and think…

“Oh, she’s busy, I won’t message her.” 😂

💛 You can ALWAYS message me.

You don’t have to know what service you need.

You don’t have to have all your paperwork organised.

And messaging me doesn’t mean you’re committing to booking anything.

Sometimes you just need to say:

“This is what’s happening… what on earth do I do next?”

And we can go from there.

At the moment I’m getting messages about SO many different things…

🏫 School/SEND problems
📑 EHCPs & EHC Needs Assessments
⚖️ Appeals & SEND Tribunal
💷 DLA & PIP
📝 Mandatory Reconsiderations
📚 Evidence and paperwork
🧩 Reasonable adjustments
🚪 Attendance difficulties
🏠 Housing issues
♿ Blue Badges
📣 Complaints
🎁 Grants

…and plenty of situations that don’t fit neatly into a little list!

My support is always based around what YOU actually need.

Sometimes that’s taking on a piece of work for you.

Sometimes it’s reviewing what you’ve already done.

Sometimes it’s helping you work out your next step.

And sometimes it’s simply answering a question and pointing you in the right direction for free. 💛

I know how expensive having a SEND child can be, which is why I’ve always tried to keep my paid support as affordable as I realistically can — and I will continue giving free advice where I can too.

📩 So, as it’s Message Me Monday… my inbox is OPEN.

If you’ve been meaning to message me, wondering whether I can help with something, want my current price list, or want to look at booking support from mid-October onwards, send me a message.

And if something is urgent and can’t wait until then, tell me that when you message and I’ll let you know whether one of my limited emergency slots would be suitable.

No pressure.

No obligation to book.

No worrying that your question is silly.

Just tell me what’s going on and we’ll work out what your options are. 💛

👇 And if you’re not ready to message privately, you’re always welcome to pop a general question below too.

❤️ PLEASE SHARE — you never know which SEND parent on your friends list is currently sitting with a pile of paperwork thinking…

“I haven’t got a bloody clue what I’m supposed to do next.” 😂

19/09/2026

🚨🍽️ NEW SCHOOL FOOD RULES ARE COMING… BUT WHAT ABOUT SEND CHILDREN WHO CAN’T JUST EAT SOMETHING ELSE? 🍽️🚨

You might have seen this in the news this week.

The government has announced new School Food Standards for England, with changes including more fruit, vegetables and fibre and tighter restrictions on foods high in fat, salt and sugar.

Most of the new standards are due to come in from September 2027, subject to Parliamentary approval.

And when I first read it, my SEND-parent brain immediately went…

Okay…but what about the child who only eats three foods?! 😬

Because we all know it’s not as simple as:

🍕 “Pizza isn’t available anymore, have this instead.”

For some SEND children, there ISN’T an “instead”.

A different texture, smell, brand, shape, temperature or presentation can mean…

they simply won’t eat it.

💛 REASONABLE ADJUSTMENTS AROUND SCHOOL FOOD ALREADY EXIST.

Schools have duties under the Equality Act 2010 to make reasonable adjustments for disabled pupils where needed to prevent them being put at a substantial disadvantage.

And importantly, the Department for Education’s current Free School Meals guidance specifically talks about disabled children who cannot access the meals normally provided.

And some of the examples the government itself gives might surprise you. 👀

🧩 EXAMPLE 1 — AUTISM & RESTRICTED EATING

The DfE gives an example of an autistic child whose sensory processing difficulties mean they have a restricted diet and cannot access the school’s normal free meals.

After working with the child and family, the school’s reasonable adjustment in the example is to provide the parents with food vouchers so they can provide a packed lunch the child WILL eat.

🥪 EXAMPLE 2 — ARFID

Another DfE example is a child with ARFID who will only eat a particular type of sandwich.

The adjustment in that example?

The school provides that particular sandwich every day so the child can access a meal during the school day.

💛 Ruby can’t currently manage being at school over lunchtime.

Lunch is simply too much for her at the moment and because she is entitled to Free School Meals, we receive vouchers.

That’s the adjustment that currently works for HER.

Another child might need something completely different.

And that’s really the point.

🧩 REASONABLE ADJUSTMENTS ARE INDIVIDUAL.

It could potentially mean looking at things such as:

🍽️ An alternative meal your child can actually eat

🥪 A particular accepted food where appropriate

🎟️ An alternative arrangement such as vouchers in circumstances where that is considered a suitable adjustment

🤫 Eating somewhere quieter if the dining hall is the problem

⏰ Eating at a different time

👩‍🏫 Support from a trusted adult

🪑 A different seating arrangement

📸 Knowing/seeing the food in advance

⏳ Extra time to eat

🏠 Or another individual arrangement depending on exactly what is creating the disadvantage.

Those aren’t automatic entitlements just because a parent asks — what is reasonable depends on the individual circumstances — but the important thing is that the conversation shouldn’t simply end with:

“That’s the school menu.”

The DfE says schools should work with the child, their family and relevant professionals to decide what support is necessary. It also recommends recording the agreed adjustments, making relevant staff aware of them and reviewing them as the child’s needs change.

📣 AND THIS IS PARTICULARLY IMPORTANT IF YOUR CHILD IS ENTITLED TO FREE SCHOOL MEALS.

A disabled child shouldn’t simply lose the practical benefit of their FSM entitlement because their disability means they cannot eat the standard meal.

The DfE guidance specifically says schools must make reasonable adjustments for disabled pupils to enable them to access their free-school-meal entitlement.

And there’s another important change parents may have missed…

From the start of the 2026/27 academic year, FSM eligibility in England expanded to children in households receiving Universal Credit, regardless of earnings.

So if you’ve previously assumed your child isn’t eligible…

CHECK AGAIN. 👀

💡 SO WHAT CAN YOU DO NOW?

If food or lunchtime is causing difficulties for your child, don’t wait for the new standards.

Start the conversation NOW.

📧 Put your concerns in writing.

🧩 Explain exactly what part of lunch/food your child’s disability makes difficult.

📔 Keep a record of what happens — are they not eating, becoming distressed, refusing school, coming home starving, struggling with the dining hall?

🥪 Explain what your child CAN eat and what currently works.

📑 Include relevant evidence you already have if appropriate — for example OT, dietitian, paediatrician or other professional information.

🤝 Ask school to discuss reasonable adjustments with you.

✍️ And ask for whatever is agreed to be recorded in writing and reviewed.

📧 Get things in writing.

📔 Keep your diary/evidence.

🧩 Ask what can reasonably be changed.

Because sometimes we become so focused on trying to make our children fit around school…

when actually we need to ask what SCHOOL can reasonably change so our children can access it. 💛

And with these new food standards coming, I think this is a conversation we’re going to be having MUCH more.

Healthy food is important.

But for a child with significant restricted eating, sensory difficulties or ARFID…

food they are physically presented with isn’t nutrition if they cannot actually eat it.

💬 SEND PARENTS — WHAT DOES LUNCHTIME LOOK LIKE FOR YOUR CHILD?

Do they eat school dinners?

Packed lunch?

Have reasonable adjustments?

Eat separately?

Have an extremely restricted diet?

Or is lunchtime one of the hardest parts of their school day?

👇 PLEASE SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES BELOW.

There may be another parent reading who has absolutely no idea that asking for adjustments is even an option.

📩 And if you’re struggling to get appropriate adjustments in place, your child isn’t accessing their Free School Meal entitlement, or you don’t know how to raise it with school, message me.

❤️ PLEASE SHARE THIS ONE.

I think there will be parents of children with autism, ARFID and other SEND who see the new food headlines and panic — without knowing what the existing guidance actually says.

15/09/2026

🏫💛 WHEN SCHOOL ISN’T WORKING – WHAT CAN I ACTUALLY DO? 💛🏫

📔 POST 2 — START KEEPING A DIARY! ✍️

This one is something I’m doing with Ruby right now.

If you’ve followed us for a while, you’ll know the last couple of weeks of the summer term were really difficult.

Ruby started becoming much more aggressive and physically violent — both at home AND at school.

Then we broke up for the six-week holidays…

And things improved.

Not everything magically disappeared obviously 🪄, but the aggression definitely settled.

Now school has started again…

it’s getting worse again. 😔

And my immediate mum brain could easily go:

“RIGHT. IT’S SCHOOL.”

But actually… I don’t know that yet.

Because there are also signs that Ruby enjoys being at school. 💛

So maybe there’s something about school she’s finding difficult.

Maybe something has changed.

Maybe there’s a particular demand, transition, environment or part of the day that’s too much.

Maybe she needs something that we’re currently missing.

Or maybe it’s something completely different.

I don’t know yet.

And that’s exactly WHY I’ve started keeping a diary. 📔

Because when you’re living this stuff every day, it’s really hard to see the bigger picture.

Especially when you’re dealing with aggression, trying to keep everyone safe, worrying about tomorrow and generally just trying to get through the day.

So I’ve started writing things down.

📅 What day was it?

🌅 What was she like before school?

🏫 Did she go in?

😊 What seemed to go well?

😣 What didn’t?

🗣️ Has she communicated anything that might give us a clue?

💥 When did the aggression happen?

🏠 What happened when she came home?

🌙 What was she like that evening/night?

😴 How did she sleep?

And I’m already starting to notice a few patterns. 👀

I’m not going to jump to conclusions from them.

But what I CAN now do is go to school and say:

“This is what I’m noticing. Are you seeing anything similar?”

And then we can start looking at it together.

🤔 Is something happening on particular days?

🧩 Is there an adjustment we could try?

🔄 Has something changed?

🏫 Is there something happening at school that I’m not seeing?

🏠 Are school seeing something I’m not seeing at home?

💛 What is Ruby actually trying to communicate through her behaviour?

That’s the useful bit.

Instead of me just saying:

“Her aggression is getting worse.”

I’ve got actual examples and a timeline that we can look at together.

📔➡️👀➡️🤝

RECORD IT. SPOT THE PATTERNS. TALK ABOUT THEM.

And this doesn’t just apply to aggression.

Your child might be:

😢 Crying before school

🤢 Complaining of tummy aches or feeling sick

😴 Completely exhausted

🚪 Refusing to leave the house

😡 Having huge meltdowns afterwards

🤐 Shutting down

🌙 Not sleeping

🍽️ Eating differently

🗣️ Repeating something about a particular lesson/person/place

Or perhaps school says they’re “absolutely fine”…

…but you’re seeing a completely different child at home.

WRITE IT DOWN.

Because school sees one part of your child’s day.

You see what happens before AND afterwards. 💛

And over time those little notes can start giving you a much bigger picture.

📑 THEY CAN ALSO BECOME EVIDENCE.

A diary can potentially be useful for:

🏫 Attendance difficulties
🧩 Reasonable adjustments
🤝 Meetings with school/SENCO
📑 SEN Support
📚 EHC Needs Assessment requests
📋 EHCP reviews
⚠️ Showing whether support is working
📝 Complaints
⚖️ Appeals/Tribunal

And also…

💷 DLA!

This is something I talk about a LOT with DLA.

As parents, we become so used to what we do for our children that we don’t even notice half of it anymore.

Prompting.

Supervision.

Reassurance.

Help getting dressed.

Meltdowns.

Night waking.

Keeping them safe.

Extra support before and after school.

You don’t necessarily think:

“That’s additional care.”

You just think…

“That’s Tuesday. 😂”

A diary can help you remember the actual help and supervision you’re providing, how often things happen and how long they take when you’re later staring at a DLA form trying to remember everything.

💡 AND DON’T TURN THIS INTO ANOTHER MASSIVE JOB.

Mine isn’t some beautifully organised colour-coded document.

📱 Use your phone notes.

📔 Grab a cheap notebook.

💻 Use a document.

📅 Even jot things into your calendar.

Something as simple as:

DATE | WHAT HAPPENED | POSSIBLE TRIGGER | SCHOOL | AFTER SCHOOL/NIGHT

is enough to get started.

And something I’m finding particularly useful with Ruby…

💚 RECORD THE GOOD STUFF TOO.

If she has a better day, I want to know why that day might have been different.

What worked?

What changed?

Was something easier?

Was there less pressure?

Did somebody do something differently?

Because I’m not keeping a diary just to prove how badly things are.

I’m trying to understand what Ruby needs. 💛

And sometimes the good days might give us the biggest clue.

So that’s today’s practical thing.

📔 Start writing it down.

👀 Look for patterns.

🤝 Take those patterns to school.

📑 And keep the record because you never know when it might become useful evidence later.

We’re not trying to solve everything today.

We’re just asking:

💛 “What is my child’s behaviour telling me that I might be missing?”

👇 Have you ever started keeping a diary and suddenly spotted a pattern you hadn’t noticed before?

Or maybe your child does something at home that school NEVER sees?

Tell me below — because somebody reading the comments might suddenly have their own little 💡 moment.

📩 And if you’ve already got lots of notes, emails or evidence and you’re thinking “Okay… what do I actually do with all of this?”, message me.

I support families with school/SEND issues, attendance, reasonable adjustments, EHCNAs, EHCPs, DLA, Section 19 requests, complaints, evidence, appeals and much more. 💛

❤️ SAVE & SHARE this with another SEND parent.

🧩 NEXT — REASONABLE ADJUSTMENTS.

Because rather than ONLY asking…

“How do we get them into school?”

Sometimes we need to ask…

👉 “What could we change to make school easier for them to access?”