18/03/2021
Why is it so hard to change?
Change is difficult because we focus on the negative aspects of the change. We see and feel the pain it will cost us to change.
We focus on what we don't want. Effectively, we want to uncreate the very thing we have, but instead we usually add more of the same.
As we focus on what we already have - that we don’t want - or are - and not on what we really want or want to become.
Remember the saying - “what you’re focus on you get more off” ...
But even so how easy is that then? To un-focus on the bad and focus on what we want? On the positive. Is a magic wand suddenly going to turn all the negative limiting beliefs into possibilities and opportunities?
The pain you feel right now.
The frustration you feel in your bones and the feeling of being stuck.
Sit with that pain for a little now.
On a scale one to ten where is that pain of failure and discomfort?
You have your number.
Now.
Imagine the struggle, the uncertainty! You don’t even know if this is going to work! And the effort you will have to put in to make a change - A success of it all.
Sit with that feeling right now.
On a scale one to ten where is that pain? of new struggles and effort with no certain nor a clear outcome, but a dream of your goals in your head - mind.
What’s that number on the scale bracket?
Is that pain bigger than the pain you have right now? Being where you’re now.
If the pain number is less where you’re now - it will ie. COST you more to change than to stay the same - the the effort pain is bigger - I’m sorry to say - you won’t change.
As the reward isn’t big enough.
It cost to much to do all that stuff to get less than you have now.
Maybe it’s just a dream and it should and will stay as just such?
You are chasing ghost?
To make a change.
The change needs to score higher than your existing situation.
The pain NOT to change must be HIGHER than the pain to change.
The pain to stay as now - nothing changes - that pain of knowing - that this is it- must far ‘out way’ the pain it will cost to change.
If you want to change.
You need to up your game.
It’s a non ending journey.
Not for one day or a week or a month.
But a for ever commitment.
Are you willing to commit to that?
Are you looking forward to that?
Are you ok with that?
When we decide to change and commit to follow a set plan and nothing happens a range of strong feelings come up - from hope/ despair, excitement/ anger, happiness/ sadness, success/ failure- sometimes all at once.
How do we stay on track?
When all that we have to show for is another burst bubble?
That’s when we look back at that score of pain.
The pain body.
To stay or not to stay.
To be as is or to change.
Which has the biggest pain number?
How deep is the dream and the wanting to get what we want?
How willing are we to put in the work to change?
What do we do when the sat backs kick in?
We keep on going.
We sit down on the side of the road.
Lean our heads in our laps.
Sit for a while.
Breath!
Then we stand up.
Dust ourself off.
Accept where we are.
Further on the journey than when we started but not at the goal yet.
We celebrate the small wins - the small steps we have taken to get closer to the goal and the changes and we see the things we learned so far.
And then we continue.
We rested.
Now we continue.
Now we are back again.
