04/05/2026
Memoirs of a Business Setup, Chapter Four (Windows Edition): The Comedy of Errors
Last Sunday, my 9‑year‑old — who really should’ve known better — accidentally baptised my laptop in Coke.
Tragic? Yes.
We’re not religious — what’s up with the baptism???
The real tragedy:
A simple mistake turned into a three‑day long epic battle of wills I was in no way prepared for.
💻 The Plan (aka: The First Mistake)
I thought I was being smart:
Why pay more for a Win11 laptop when I can get a Win10 and upgrade it myself, right?
WRONG.
So very, VERY wrong.
The theory was simple:
Win10 version 1909 is prehistoric at best, so update Win10 → then upgrade to Win11.
Did it work?
Did it f**k.
🔁 The Endless Loops of Doom
Well… I mean, it *did* work if the point of the exercise was to get lost in endless loops of:
• BIOS menu elements disappearing
• Safe Mode so deep even Windows didn’t know how to escape
• PowerShell rituals I didn’t know existed
• 0% downloads for hours
• 96% load then dying
• and every other digital nightmare you can think of
If you can even imagine it, it happened.
🧨 And Then Came the LIES
The ones designed to break even the strongest among us.
🔥 “Almost done.”
Almost done my ass.
Three hours is so *not* almost, Linda.
It’s the equivalent of:
“I’ve done 4% of the task, but emotionally I feel like I deserve praise.”
It’s my child kicking one sock to the side and declaring his room tidy.
🔥 “This will take a few minutes.”
Oh will it, Linda? Just a few?
Because we’ve already done:
• an hour
• three reboots
• two existential crises
• and several prayers to the god of patience and algorithms
I’m not even religious, Linda.
😒 And Then There’s the CHEEK
🔥 “Don’t turn off your PC.”
This one is pure and absolute audacity.
As if I’m going to do that, Linda.
As if I’ve spent three days bullying you into submission just to unplug you the moment you finally decide to do something.
⚔️ The Result
Three whole days of sheer digital torture later, I finally have Win11 firmly planted on my laptop.
Not gracefully.
Not elegantly.
Not in any way Microsoft intended.
More like:
“It installed out of fear.”
My new routine and posting setup?
Gone.
Chucked straight out the window(s) with the enthusiasm of a toddler throwing spaghetti.
But hey — at least routines can be rebuilt.
Unlike my patience.
That’s gone forever.
📚 The Lesson
Oh, there’s definitely a lesson in here somewhere.
I am absolutely, undeniably, 100% capable of upgrading a system.
I have the brains.
I have the determination.
I have Copilot filling in the gaps when my knowledge taps out.
What I do NOT have — and will never have — is the patience required to deal with Windows behaving like a Victorian child fainting at the slightest breeze.
My child is grounded until the next century.
Me?
Can’t wait to find out what fresh new hell Chapter Five brings…..
