16/05/2026
’Twas the night before the final, when all through Armagh,
Not a soul could stay quiet — not even yer Da.
The jerseys were laid by the fireplace with pride,
With orange scarves hanging and flags stretched out wide.
The children were buzzing, too excited for sleep,
While WhatsApp groups promised “we’ll hammer them cheap.”
And Mam in her fleece, and Da with his tea,
Were replaying the Ulster win endlessly on TV.
For tomorrow was final day — the whole county aware,
With nerves in the stomach and hope in the air.
The pubs were all packed, every seat full and tight,
With debates over starting teams carrying on through the night.
Then out on the road there arose such a sight,
I looked through the window in pure disbelief that night.
A bright yellow ambulance rolled into view,
With Orchard flags flying and windows steamed too.
But this wasn’t for patients or A&E stress,
No, this was pure Armagh madness at its best.
For painted upon it, bold, fearless, and grand,
Was a message to rally the whole Orchard band.
There stood Trump himself with a finger held high,
Like he’d just ordered chips and a taco fry.
His face bright orange — a perfect campaign,
Declaring: “LET’S MAKE CLONES ORANGE AGAIN!”
The neighbours came running in slippers and coats,
One fella still clutching two Guinness and smokes.
Old boys at the corner were roaring with laughter,
While young lads were filming for TikTok thereafter.
The ambulance owner — legends all know,
Was the Computer Hospital, stealing the show.
Fixing yer laptops by day without fuss,
Then driving Armagh propaganda round Monaghan for us.
One lad shouted proudly while banging a drum,
“Ulster champions already — and Sam’s next to come!”
Another yelled back with a grin ear to ear,
“Tomorrow in Clones — this is our year!”
The parish went mental, the town in uproar,
Sure half of South Armagh came out to the door.
One woman yelled loudly, “That’s disgraceful!” in rage…
Then asked for a selfie beside it two minutes later on stage.
The siren stayed silent, but spirits were loud,
As orange-clad supporters gathered in crowds.
Some sang old songs badly, some danced in the rain,
Some just kept shouting the slogan again.
And there in the darkness, with great festive charm,
Rolled the funniest ambulance ever seen in Armagh.
As it vanished from sight down the cold winter lane,
You still heard the echoes again and again:
“UP ARMAGH TOMORROW… AND LET’S MAKE CLONES ORANGE AGAIN!”
