28/01/2022
âEmpathetic pawrenting is not permissive pawrentingâ.
When we invite a dog into our lives, we become responsible for another sentient being.
Most commonly, we have chosen that dog, but the dog did not necessarily choose us.
Domestic dogs as a species, whilst often well adapted to living alongside humans, are just that, a different species.
They have their own physical and emotional needs that in parts can be quite different to those of us humans. Not meeting those needs can be a significant factor in the animal struggling to cope and developing perceived behaviour issues.
Raising a pup, being guardian to a rehomed dog, living alongside the adolescent, the adult, the aging dog, is a privilege (even when it feels like a challenge!).
Empathic pawrenting is a phrase I use to encompass how meeting physical and emotional needs, being compassionately responsive to those needs and the actions of the dog, observing them and allowing them to develop and become themselves, is an essential part of providing a safe, positive life for that individual.
This does not mean the dog can just do what they want all the time or that the dog shouldnât have education to help them blend into the human dominated world they find themselves in. It is not a permissive strategy.
Empathic pawrenting will use established learning techniques such as habituation, predominantly positive reinforcement (reward based training) and the use of social modelling (observational learning, encouraging the dog to learn by watching the way we behave and the way certain other dogs behave) .
We do need to provide learning opportunities for our pups, âadoglescentsâ, adult and older dogs. We can teach and guide with respect.
Just because something has always been done in a certain way, doesnât mean that it is the only way or the most effective way. Sometimes, taking responsibility for the development and total care of another, requires reconsideration of old habits, old strategies and reflection on even how we ourselves were provided for and taught.
I believe it is an honour that certain animals allow us to participate in their lives as wholly as we do. It should be a two way relationship; choice and opportunity matter.
I am so grateful for the animals who have guided me in my learnings to become the person I am today. I have made mistakes and I hope I have learnt from them. I am also extremely grateful and honoured to provide education for people to improve their lives alongside their pets, and to help facilitate the best lives we can for those pets.
If this approach to living with animals resonates with you, watch this space as I announce more educations, more resources, more hints and tips throughout 2022.
âEmpathy is choosing to see ourselves in another despite our differences. It's recognizing that the same desire for meaning, fulfillment and security - exists in each of us, even if it's expressed uniquely.â
Vivek Murthy