28/12/2021
"I don't like writing down my goals".
A comment from one of my clients.
It made me ask myself ... why are some people comfortable with writing down goals, whilst others shy away from it?
In this case, the client is a very smart person who is wrestling with what to do for the best.
They *know* it's impossible to hit a target unless they know what they're aiming at.
They're familiar with all those clichés ("if you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there" etc).
So, why the reluctance?
Because writing goals is a courageously vulnerable thing to do.
By nailing your colours to the mast with a statement of goals you are saying to the world (and more importantly to yourself):
- This is what I stand for;
- This is who I am;
- This is what matters to me;
- This is what I consider to be good and meaningful;
- This is what I would like to be remembered for.
When you define success on your own terms and build a plan to achieve it... that is very personal.
When you open up the path to success you also, naturally, open up the possibility that you might fail.
And, whilst we know (academically, at least) that failure is not the opposite of success, for many people failing still cuts very deeply.
It feels personal, and it feels permanent.
There's a big difference between "I failed in this task" and "I am a failure" (the first one is an experience you can learn from, the second one is a brutal scarification of your self-esteem).
Your head might understand the difference between the two... but is your heart listening to your head?
If you wrestle with this difficulty (you feel like setting goals is setting yourself up to fail and you can't live with that)... there are two solutions:
Option 1 - Don't set goals.
I'm not taking the p**s ... it's a real option.
After all, if you play it safe, you can't lose.
(You can't ever truly 'win' either, but as long as you're happy that really doesn't matter).
If you don't set goals, you stay in your comfort zone and that buys an ounce or two of psychological safety.
The downside is that you may be disappointed by the highlights reel when your life flashes before your eyes on your death bed.
Option 2 - Be brave in baby steps.
Take a step outside the comfort zone.
Set some goals that make you excited and nervous.
Build a plan comprised of small daily behaviours that are within your control.
Implement it.
Test and learn against the plan. Measure how you do. Improve every day.
Manage your mindset along the way (get a coach, get an accountability partner, keep a journal, meditate, get enough sleep, exercise, eat properly... maybe a combination of all of these!)
Only you can decide what matters.
It's your life!
If Option 2 is the road for you, I've got one place left for my goal setting workshop.
Let me know if you'd like to attend:
7th of Jan.
10am-2.30pm on Zoom.
Email me for details [email protected]