31/05/2026
The Dog Who Didn't Listen
One of the most common things I hear from owners is, "He knows exactly what I want. He's just ignoring me."
Sometimes that may feel true, but before we conclude that a dog is being deliberately uncooperative, it can be helpful to pause and consider other possibilities.
What if your dog isn't ignoring you?
What if they're confused?
Or distracted?
What if they're worried about something you haven't noticed?
What if they're conflicted because they want two different things at the same time?
What if they're uncomfortable, tired, over-aroused, frustrated, or simply struggling in that moment?
As humans, we are very good at interpreting behaviour through a lens of our own range of potential intentions, so we often assume a dog is deliberately choosing not to listen when, in reality, something is making it difficult for them to do what we're asking.
Imagine being asked a question in a language you only partly understand, or being expected to concentrate while something is making you anxious. Think about what it's like when you’re trying to focus on a task but a strong distraction is pulling your attention elsewhere. It's not that your ability to respond disappeared, but your ability to respond successfully has been affected by everything else that is going on around you and inside you.
Dogs are no different.
One of the things I often say to my clients is that behaviour doesn't happen in a vacuum. Every behaviour occurs within a context: a dog's behaviour is influenced by their emotions, physical wellbeing, past experiences, environment, motivations, and the things they have learned from previous outcomes. When we focus only on whether a dog did or didn't respond as we wanted, in the moment, we can miss the bigger picture.
Instead of asking, "Why didn't my dog listen to me?", a more useful question is, "What was going on for my dog at that moment?" This is one of the reasons behaviour work is rarely about teaching a dog to "listen better"; more often it involves understanding what might be getting in the way of listening in the first place.
Behaviour isn't just about obedience (or, if you're me, it's not at all about obedience, I tend to steer away from that power and control-laden concept), it's about communication. So the next time your dog doesn't respond as you expected, try replacing the question, "Why is my dog ignoring me?" with, "What might be making this difficult for my dog right now?"
Taking this different perspective will change not only what you see, but how you choose to respond to your dog, and that can have a profound effect on the relationship you build together.
