31/01/2023
A poignant post for over-givers. Boundary work is one of the most common coaching requirements that I come across in my client work. Particularly with women. Once you have awareness around it, and take action, it can be one of the most impactful changes that you can make for yourself and your happiness. ❤️
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“There is more to you than what you are capable of giving others and providing for them.
There is more to you than what you are willing to sacrifice for others and give up in your own life in order to make them happy.
There is more to you than what you do for others and the world.
You are not everyone’s healer, you are not everyone’s parent or guardian, you are not everyone’s saviour and giving is not your only purpose in life.
Sometimes when we feel unloved by others around us we settle for being needed.
We overextend ourselves and overgive so that in return they will like us.
We attempt to please them at the expense of pleasing ourselves.
Failing to realise that by people-pleasing we are attempting to manipulate others into liking us , and that when we continually say “yes” when we secretly mean “no” we can be left feeling resentful.
When we are authentic and can kindly let others know through active communication what our true beliefs, desires and intentions are, and are honest and upfront about our boundaries, the outcome is much better for both them and ourselves in the long-term.
When it comes to others making large demands and requests of you always remember that just as you are capable others are capable.
Others are capable of taking action in their own lives, others are capable of deciding for themselves what is best for them and others are capable of relying on themselves or seeking help from someone else rather than you.
And so you may give them the space and freedom to be able to effectively show up for themselves and allow them to empower themselves.
And instead, choose to give from a place of love and kindness when you feel you want to. Donate your time, possessions and energy to others from a place of abundance and generosity, rather than simply out of obligation.
As others are not entitled to your help, others are not entitled to your energy or resources, nor to your time and attention.
And just as we set boundaries with others, we must also set them with ourselves and ensure that we are respecting our own time and energy just as much as the time and energy of others.”
Words by Tahlia Hunter
Artwork by Loui Jover
