Khriss Stores

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08/08/2017

Random Jokes
1.Most girls use 14 digits password with a mixture of
letters,symbols,numbers,and emojis to lock their phones
while the password to their legs is "Swipe Left to open"
I know am looking for trouble but am in my house
Comma beat me....
2.Timaya plantain seller.
Don jazzy akamu seller.
Patoranking Rat poison seller.
Olajumoke Bread Seller.
Efe tomatoes seller.
All now millionaires...
Father Lord
What do you want me to sell
Your son is listening...
3.My Future Wife Is Out There Thinking She Will Marry A
Handsome Man With Six Packs
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Somebody come and
join me to laugh,I can't do this alone.
4.Waec students be shouting Efe,Efe,Efe don't go and read
your books ooo, by the time you see your results E F E F E E
F E then your excuse will be based on logistics...
5.When a white baby falls, the parents be like "Oh my world
am sorry my princess"
When a Naija baby falls "No look am ooo, Do like say you no
see am, troway face make e no cry"
6.They are here curving us now ooo, forming slay queens
until they are above 30. Then you text them "How are you
doing" and they reply "Yes I do"

7.You have 8 shirts, 7 shirts are Adieu Mama...
Hmmmmmmm so if person no die you no go wear cloth?

8.I used to be scared to open whatsapp when I'm ignoring
someone, now I don't even care anymore. Yes I'm online,
yes I ignored you... come and beat me...

9.My guy said he tried to have make up S*x with his gf after
he was caught cheating. She suggested B**M, tied him up
and beat him like a goat...
10.Nose Ring, Ear Ring, Naval Ring, Leg Chain, Waist Chain
Now the bank door refused to open for you... Abeg lemme
me pass
...
11.If you laughed/smiled
You owe me a like...
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05/02/2017

cant stop laffin
Just love these kids
Teacher: How old is your father?
Kid: He is 6 years.
Teacher: What? How is this possible?
Kid: He became father only when I was born.
Logic!!
Children Are Quick and Always Speak Their
Minds
_______________________________
TEACHER: Joseph, go to the map and find
North
America .
JOSEPH: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered
America ?
CLASS: Joseph.
_______________________________
TEACHER: Hafsat, why are you doing your
math
multiplication on the floor?
HAFSAT: You told me to do it without using
the
tables.
_______________________________
TEACHER: Ahmad , how do you spell
'crocodile?'
AHMAD: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
AHMAD: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me
how
I spell it.
(I Love this child)
_______________________________
TEACHER: Zainab, what is the chemical
formula for
water?
ZAINAB: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
ZAINAB: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
_______________________________
TEACHER: Moses, name one important thing
we
have today that we didn't have ten years
ago.
MOSES: Me!
_______________________________
TEACHER: Abraham, why do you always get
so
dirty?
ABRAHAM: Well, I'm a lot closer to the
ground
than you are.
_______________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only
chopped
down his father's cherry tree, but also
admitted it.
Now, Peter , do you know why his father
didn't
punish him?
PETER: Because George still had the axe in
his
hand......
______________________________
TEACHER: Kehinde , your composition on 'My
Dog'
is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did
you
copy his?
KEHINDE : No sir, It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
____________________________
TEACHER: Nana, what do you call a person
who
keeps on talking when people are no longer
interested?
NANA: A teacher

18/01/2017

Nollywood VS Hollywood �
IN HOLLYWOOD
Merlin will say just two words
and a Fire-
breathing dragon will appear
# Outta_nowhere ..
IN NOLLYWOOD
babalawo will recite a whole
Book of incantations
(366 pages) just to off Candle.
then he'll finally tells you to bring
the following
-
> 8 virgin rats ****** eh?? ....
> 10 married ants ******
aren't arthopods supposed to be
single??
> 7 pregnant mosquitoes
***** /okay/
> 2 Le***an hens *****
doh! ... to appease the gods

Merry christmas pals #$mith
25/12/2016

Merry christmas pals #$mith

19/09/2016

1. You drank garri twice today, bought N100
recharge card and got 10mb, came on facebook
and wrote "money no be problem".. Your case
dey court.
2. You dey owe mama ikenna N50 and you dey
wear "my money grow like grass t-shirt"..
Weldone oo!
3. You fit pay N5,000 enter club but for church
na N20 be your offering.. God is watching u o
4. You are too big to dance in church but you go
gaga crazy when you hear the (gbedu wey dey
burst brain-OLUWA NI).. God dey watch u o
5. You're married but still chases other ladies
and you claim you're going for refresher
courses. Your cup go soon full.
6. Just because you met him in a bus and he
bought you gala, you come store him number as
"bros gala"... Sista tnk u o
7. U ar an o level holder, but nah u the sponsor
ur girl for uni. My broda u be scholarship
board?
8. You dey inside hotel room snap picture come
upload am write "home sweet home", ur mata dey
God hand.
9. You enter public transoprt #600 to
go shoprite go snap picture with oda people goods,
abeg wetine I wan tell u.
10.U way go read this my
post, u no go
comment, my dear u get leprosy for hand?..

02/06/2016

There was a beautiful girl who was admired by four men. A singer, A hunter, A doctor and a fisherman. One day she went to wash her clothe by the river coincidentally the four men where there, All of a sudden a crocodile bite her and dragged her into the water. The singer immediately composed a beautiful song, the crocodile raise his head above the water to listen to the song, the hunter shot dead the crocodile and the girl floated on water, the fisherman dive in and brought her to the shore then the doctor treated her and she was well again. Now who deserve to marry the girl among the four? Don't spoil the fun just forward and see the best answers. Need answer. 4rm intelligent pple like u! Jood evening to you

02/06/2016

DIFFERENCE BTW AN AMERICAN FACEBOOK POST AND A NIGERIAN FACEBOOK POST.AMERICAN POST:Hello, my name is Sandra Stone, I am from New York, I love my husband so much and I can do Anything to please him...But recently I am falling for his cousin, what should I do?COMMENTS:*James Silva : I think u need to talk to your husband because marriage is all about communication.*Sarah water : Oh my dear,sorry abt that.. Have been in your shoes before, I had to wake up and face the fact that I am married.*Michael paper : well just remove your mind from him and make your husband do the things you like in his cousin..NIGERIAN POST:My name is Hannatu, i stay in Abuja, married with a kid, I think I am falling for my husband's cousin! What should I do?NIGERIAN COMMENTS:*Dayo muyiwa : Fool, love na food?*Nkiru joy : You are a disgrace to womanhood..shame on u.*Idris kunle : Any news about ASUU strike?*Toheeb sule : If u want to fall for me too, call my no: 0708312455*Funmi Leye: I no blame u at all, better go find something do with your life, fall koor, stand nii*Richard oke : Abeg who get bb charger (pin mouth)*Mallam Audu : Allah ya tsine miki! Anya ke yar Musulma ce kuwa? Allah ya kyauta*Tony Big boy: Gaskiya u r so cute pls Add me*Amaka Achebe: U r a pr******te, u need a deliverance! 👍👍🇳🇬

02/06/2016

＃Dear_God,You took away my favorite singer( ＃Michael_Jackson)Also took away my favorite rapper( ＃Dagrin)You took away my favorite actor( ＃SamLoco_Efe)Took away my favourite comedian( ＃Dede_One_Day)Dear God, am writing this to let you know that ＃President_Buhari is my favourite president...Hope to hear from you soon.Me! Fall in love? Hell no... I prefer standing and growing in love... It's time to ＃Stand, No ＃Dulling.

02/06/2016

It was a hot afternoon while a pretty fair lady was hit by a vehicle, so those around run to her aid to help her up... She was just shouting MY PHONE! MY PHONE!! MY PHONE!!!.So someone quickly pick her phone for her with the hope of calling one of her relatives but to everyone suprise, she quickly log in to Facebook and update her status:"OH MY GOD! I JUST HAD AN ACCIDENT, FAINTING TINZ" and she fainted.... Ah girls nawa oo--------------------------------

30/05/2016

Strictly for laughs: Dn't mak a woman cry! Dia's nothng as xpensiv as a lady's tears.Wen a single drop comes out, it first mixes wth LOREAL eye line( #7,500) & REVLON mascara ( #8,500), den wen it rolls down d cheek it mixes wth Estee Louder foundation ( #11,000) D&G blusher ( #15,000) & MAC powder ( #19,000). Finally wen it touches d lips it gts mixed wth MAYBELINE lipstick (12,000) & AVON lip gloss ( #5,000)....A single drop of a lady's tear's running 4 abt #78,000. PLEASE DON'T MAKE HER CRY.

30/05/2016

WOT A SHAMEFUL DAY: Today, I attended a birthday party- A gathering of abt 100 people. I sat at the front seat. Then a lady started sharing food. She started from the back and unfortunately, it didn't reach us at the front. When her friends started sharing drinks, they started from the front but unfortunately I have already changed by seat to the back. Again the drink didn't reach me. I was so furious and I stood up to take my leave but then I saw three ladies each with a big bowl. This time, I tried to be wise by seating at the middle. To my uttermost surprise, One of the ladies started sharing f rom the front...and the second lady started distributing from the back. It was turkey meat. When it got to the middle where I was seated it got finished again. Feeling so frustrated, I bent my head, not looking at any face...but then the third lady tapped me and stretched her bowl that I should pick.. I stretched my hand... Guess what was in the bowl?? It was Toothpick... # lolz # ghetto

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