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iflowcoaching

A place to share ideas around coaching, counselling and personal development.

14/08/2026

While recently visiting the Giant Sequoias in California, I was struck by these majestic trees that are amongst the oldest organisms on Earth.

Surprisingly, these ancient conifers are well adapted to resist fires, and even need them to reproduce, as otherwise their pinecones don’t open to release the seeds.

Despite deep and extensive scars on some of them, they continue to thrive over centuries.

Can we learn anything useful from these trees as we go about our daily grind?

We are all scared in some ways, surviving numerous fires of transformation, for better or worse. Sometimes we also thrive, given the right social and personal conditions.

Without sufficient challenge, we might stagnate and get off course, forgetting why we are really here on this planet in the first place.

Too much challenge breaks us, burning our dreams and hopes to the ground.

26/07/2026

I am so honoured to have attended the 2026 North America Transactional Analysis Association gathering.

Meeting colleagues who worked alongside Eric Berne and his students is a gift that I take to heart.

It takes many local villages to hold the riches of our global TA community.

06/07/2026

I spent this weekend at the gorgeous space of IxBalam delivering a TA 101 course to a wonderfully diverse group of learners.

We had 10 different languages represented in the training room, including three Mayan languages (Kaqchikel, Tz’utujil and K’iche’) alongside European languages such as English, French, Slovenian and Polish, to name just a few.

Whenever I deliver workshops in multilingual settings, I am reminded that TA is a pretty robust framework for cross-cultural work. It gives people a shared language to understand themselves while leaving plenty of wriggle room for a wide variety of experiences.

For me, TA concepts are like LEGO bricks that can be put together in different ways depending on what each person or group needs.

Despite all our linguistic and cultural differences, one thing we all shared was laughter.

At one point, we were all like a bunch of kids, laughing our heads off at some rather spicy jokes. It reminded me of Berne’s observation that “the road to freedom is through laughter” (1972).

Thank you to everyone involved 🙏✨

29/06/2026

Happy pride 🌈👠 everyone 🫶🏼

After the fiasco of Antigua Pride where the Mayor introduced hate speech into the public domain, we had a great time, celebrating love, friendship and community 💙🌀

🌈

11/06/2026

Calling all my gay, q***r, trans, bisexual, non-binary, asexual and straight friends (everyone is welcome 🤗) for a bit of moral support 🏳️‍🌈

So, we are supposed to have THE VERY FIRST PRIDE PARADE in Antigua this year.

The number of hateful and hardline religious comments under the municipality’s announcement was staggering.

I felt transported back to 1998, when you had to press a button to enter a gay club hidden away in some shady back alley.

🇬🇧 While living in London, I somehow took it all for granted, and yet I see that equality really isn’t the norm. And it’s not only about gay rights; it’s also about challenging white supremacy, classism (quite relevant in Guatemala), misogyny, and all those bloody ISMS that reduce people’s inherent value 😡

🌈 That’s why we need Pride, that’s why we need feminism, that’s why we need Black History Month—and every other opportunity to challenge exclusion and promote heartfelt dignity for ALL. 🌈

Even for those I might disagree with, those who p**s me off—yes, I include you too, because fundamentally we are one 🪢

11/05/2026

Writing about ethics for your CTA?

Let’s make it more accessible (not easier, because it’s not meant to be easy!).

As professionals, we are bound by ethical codes put forward by associations such as the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy or the International Transactional Analysis Association.

The BACP Ethical Framework consists broadly of:

1️⃣ Commitment to clients — a client-friendly outline.

2️⃣ Ethics — underpinning values that inform principles and translate into personal and moral qualities.

The principles correlate broadly with those described by Kitchener (1984) and Thompson (1990), summarised by the acronym BANFUJ (literally: ban 🛑 fudge 💩):

Beneficence — Does the client benefit?

Autonomy — Does the process foster self-determination?

Non-maleficence — Is harm minimised?

Fidelity — Are promises such as confidentiality upheld?

Universality — Would you recommend this treatment to everyone?

Justice — Is everyone treated fairly and without discrimination?

3️⃣ Good practice — implementing the principles in real clinical work.

For example, we sometimes need to prioritise safety over a client’s explicit wishes, maintain standards through supervision, or keep accurate records.

The ITAA Code of Ethics (revised in November 2024 🔥) highlights Educational and Remedial functions while emphasising restorative justice practices.

In simple words: ethics is not about catching culprits, but about thinking together through difficult situations.

When writing your CTA, cite the specific principles guiding your actions.

And remember: an ethical dilemma is not simply confronting a client who repeatedly misses sessions.

A dilemma occurs when TWO PRINCIPLES CLASH and you need to prioritise one over another.

For example, you may breach confidentiality in favour of protection if you believe a client is in danger ‼️

07/05/2026

To become a certified transactional analyst (CTA), one has to work their butt off 🍑🥵

And that’s a good thing because through our examination system we uphold high professional standards.

Today I attended the CTA Exam Online Markers’ Workshop, brilliantly run by Nicole Lenner and Danijela Djuric

Let me share a few reflections to help demystify the marking process 📚

The marker’s job is to take account of social justice and diversity, promote wider educational engagement, and show cultural awareness.

The exam system aims for thoughtful evaluation where all are committed to creating bridges in a process that is fair, inclusive, and rigorous.

When you write your CTA, the markers want to know:

❓Who is the practitioner?

❓What is the context of their work?

❓How do they integrate ethical principles into their practice?

❓How congruent is the candidate in bringing theory and practice together?

There is no single way of writing the CTA exam, so stop fretting and trying to play the guessing game of what markers want.

What matters is congruence in how you meet the core competencies in your field of practice.

If you overload the exam with models to show off what you know (probably out of anxiety about passing — I did this in my exam 😅), you lose depth.

If you only use one model, you lose breadth.

The key piece is congruence in your practice.

For example, if you write about co-creative TA and then your case study goes deeply into regression work, it doesn’t quite fit together. Instead, show how you co-created a fresh relational possibility with your client in the here and now.

TA is tricky. It’s not a unified approach and it contains contradictions — which is both a strength (you can make it your own) and a weakness (you can get confused).

So… who are you as a TA practitioner?

13/04/2026

More than 20 years ago I read One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez. I loved the flowery language of magical realism, the cyclical nature of time, and the rich metaphors.

That must have been the beginning of my desire to explore Latin America, and Colombia in particular. At 18 years old, I made a deal with myself that one day I would visit this country.

That’s how life scripts work. They speak to the Child inside us that gets enchanted with the stories we are told about life. Some of those stories feed our aspirations, hopes, and dreams, while others may be limiting, outdated, and perpetuate a false sense of self.

Now, I wonder about you…

Have you been captivated by a childhood or adolescent dream that is worth revisiting?

03/03/2026

Hey colleagues 🌎🤓

I’m thinking about running a 10 week course about intercultural skills and multilingualism in coaching, counselling, therapy, training and supervision. The session themes I have in mind are:

1. Why are we in intercultural contexts?
2. Culture shock.
3. Cultural worldviews (frames of reference).
4. Intercultural sensitivity.
5. Hofstede cultural dimensions.
6. Cross-cultural positions.
7. Structures and dynamics of culture.
8. Values and beliefs (Cultural Parent).
9. Power and privilege.
10. Integrating your intercultural identity.

It would be from October, so quite far away now.

Any people interested?

11/02/2026

👠 Cuando empezamos a estudiar análisis transaccional, nunca imaginamos que algún día terminaríamos en una conferencia al aire libre que cerró con más de 40 personas bailando flamenco en una finca de café 💃💃🏽💃🏿🌴🌴🌴

El tema de nuestro 3er Encuentro Internacional de Educación en AT fue: “Caminando a través de la desesperanza”.

A lo largo del día exploramos la tensión entre esperanza y desesperanza desde distintas perspectivas: el trabajo con grupos, el mindfulness, la terapia narrativa, la ya clásica teoría de los Estados del Yo, y también la historia y la dimensión encarnada del flamenco.

El encuentro fue además una oportunidad para develar la placa de la Biblioteca Dr. Mark Widdowson y para encontrarnos con Philip McNally, esposo de Mark, quien generosamente donó una colección de libros al Instituto Centroamericano de Análisis Transaccional

Sus palabras nos acompañan desde entonces:

“Si estás atravesando la desesperanza, recuerda que cada paso que das, cada día, importa.”

Nos sentimos profundamente agradecidos con todas las personas que lo hicieron posible. Gracias 🙏

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