03/11/2014
Dealing with Failure:
I was proud to say that I had never blown up or failed in an Ironman race. I couldn't really understand why some people just completely miss the mark sometimes. This year at the Ironman World Championships it happened to me.
First you see excuses and then if you are honest, you see that there were signs, doubts and finally, maybe the hardest step, that you just failed, at some point gave up and probably could have done better.
That is always something difficult to get over, but even more so when you have pretty much prepared for the better part of a year and made huge financial and personal sacrifices along the way... and not only you, because in many ways this is living the dream, but also your family.
Now what are some good tips to get over a failure or defeat as crushing as this?
1) Focus on the positive: For me in this particular instance it was to be part of the Kona experience, to have finished the race and not given up. Kona is a huge thing and living it with the best in the world is always a blessing and great experience
2) Learn something: It's always much easier to learn from failure than success. We are wired in a way that makes failure much harder and much more painful than success, something traders need to learn to live with daily. We therefore remember losses and failure much better and it's therefore a great learning opportunity. For me it meant being a bit more cautious during racing, be smart about your equipment and if there are signs something doesn't work, change it. Finally never start walking and be prepared for the worst. I thought I was and I think consciously about all the bad things that can happen, but in this case, I wasn't.
3) Create a success quickly: It can be something small, but any success is good and will help boost your morale and self confidence. In my case I had signed up for the HK ITU triathlon, the sprint distance only 2 weeks after Kona and I surprisingly won overall. That was great positive reinforcement and a huge morale booster. It definitely helped getting over this in a big way.
4) Share your distress: It's important that friends and people in general don't only see your successes and good moments, failure is what make us human and I probably got more Facebook likes (if that's a measure of something) when sharing this year's failure than any of my previous successes
5) Resilience and moving on: Easier said than done, but at the end of the day, it is what it is and therefore no point complaining. Set yourself a new goal or enjoy the time off and focusing on something else.
Failure is never easy and sometimes it takes a long time to overcome, but these have worked for me.
Good luck and make things happen!
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