21/05/2022
The grass season is in full swing.
Motorists are being warned by the AA that the country roads now belong to braughan and smyth trailers and the odd harvester.
If your late for work/a date/an oul ride off a quare wan, you have an excuse. The silage season is on.
The only thing you'll see in front of you for the next few months is a silage trailer or the ass of a combine.
You can pass it no bother, but there's another one in front of it so, set the cruise to 25.
Cyclists are advised to make their wills before going out on their bikes.
As well as looking like a quare with the sh*te your wearing, behind you is a 16 year old with 250 horse power, a load of grass and he's been watching you tube videos all winter. You'd better get out of the fu**in way because there's is another fella behind him mad to catch up and he's just passed the theory test yesterday.
Chutes up, tanks full, smoke flying, it's on, and that grass won't haul itself.
It's doesn't finish at silage folks, next there's the combines, that not alone own their own side of the road, but your side as well. Practice backing up folks because you'll be doing a lot of it for the next few months.
A combine driver is usually not in the mood to back up and wish you a nice day, he's off to cut a field of grain that he probably paid too much to rent and there's rain hanging out of the sky.
Next up is the straw men.
A Sunday spin to Kerry will usually involve passing tractor after tractor loaded up with bales pi***ng straw down on top of your shiny car.
If your out in the convertible with the oul doll, remarking to her about the lovely golden straw as she's picking it out of her bra will definitely get you the ride of a lifetime.
Best advice is stay home or only travel on wet days.
Only fellas you see then are the lads running for parts and they're usually in the jeeps with the windscreen covered in dockets and looking to see who's cut and not cut.
Have a great summer folks and when your pulling into the briars to make way for the harvesters, remember, you voted for the green c***s who won't allow us cut the the thorny yokes that are now scratching your CPC car.
