21/08/2022
This piece is so true! When I brought my boxer pup home, I remember asking myself so many times, is this a huge mistake????
I have known the privilege of having dogs all my life but having just lost my 17 year old Labrador you can imagine what this boxer puppy was like! She had relentless energy and she was so strong physically and as every week passed she got stronger. She’d settled in immediately and she knew she belonged with us, she was and is the most adorable dog I know.
I knew she wasn’t ’the problem’ and she didn’t have a problem - I just needed to approach this new relationship with compassion, kindness and understanding (for both puppy and me!).
It’s so like being a parent to children; self care is so important, understanding and taking responsibility for our own needs, you can then relate to your child with kindness, compassion and love - go to the ‘understanding’ place first; listening, responding rather than ‘re-acting’ , creating safety and security, being consistent and predictable …
I quickly realised I was comparing my puppy to my old lady Labrador instead of really ‘seeing’ and enjoying all her little ways, her unique personality, her joy in being with me … she loves affection, she stands at the door when I come home and when I’m going to bed, waiting for our hug together.
Enjoy 💕
Puppies are exhausting! Having a puppy after years of having two well-adjusted, reasonably calm, predictable and extremely responsive adult dogs is a humbling experience. I think I may have mentioned this before.... it really is quite an adjustment!
In order to manage my own emotional responses to the challenges of having a puppy so that I can address issues in a way that strengthens my relationship with Primrose, I try to look at each challenge from various angles and find a positive in each situation to build on. Here are some examples:
Primrose is very high energy = Primrose is healthy and active as a young dog should be
Primrose likes to walk everywhere except on the path on walks = Primrose is confident enough to explore a little away from us
Primrose gets into EVERYTHING! = Primrose is curious and optimistic enough to check out new things without fear
Primrose gets distracted by people and dogs = Primrose has a high level of social attraction which will stand her in good stead for enjoying the company of other people and dogs as an adult and means she is less likely to be fearful or defensive around them
Primrose plays for many hours a day, which makes it hard to concentrate while working at home = Primrose's mood is generally really positive and she feels good and relaxed enough to play
Primrose likes to shove her saliva covered toys in our laps at the most inopportune moments = Primrose sees us as a source of fun and enjoys playing with us
Finally, Primrose likes to bring her stinky chews and eat them on my lap = Primrose trusts me with her "resources" and sees me as a safe place (as in the photo)
Puppies are puppies for such a short time - they are exhausting (and frustrating, over-the-top and infuriating at times), but when the puppy madness is met with kindness, engagement, opportunities for fun and gentle guidance, puppies can blossom into amazing adult dogs. So, if you have a wild, but happy puppy - enjoy them. Over the years I have generally learned that happy crazy, busy pups make for resilient and well-adjusted adults!
