The Elders Have Spoken - Wisdom Series

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The Elders Have Spoken - Wisdom Series Ancient wisdom for modern struggles. Stories told under the Baobab tree. The elders have spoken.

15/09/2026

“My Brother Became Wealthy, But He Won't Help the Family”

Three brothers came to Baba arguing.

The youngest spoke first.

“Baba, our elder brother is wealthy. Our mother needs help, but he says everyone should solve their own problems.”

Baba turned to the elder brother.

“Is this true?”

“I worked for everything I have, Baba. Nobody helped me.”

Baba nodded.

Then he pointed at a well.

“Who owns that well?”

“The village.”

“And if the man who dug it had said, ‘Nobody gave me water while I was digging, so nobody will drink from it,’ what would you call him?”

The brothers laughed.

But Baba remained serious.

“My child, success does not make you responsible for every problem in your family.”

“Some relatives will turn generosity into entitlement if you allow them.”

He paused.

“But there is a difference between refusing to finance irresponsibility and watching your own mother suffer when you can comfortably help.”

“Wisdom requires boundaries.”

“So does love.”

— THE ELDERS HAVE SPOKEN —

YOUR TURN:
If one sibling becomes wealthy, how much responsibility should they have for the rest of the family?

14/09/2026

“I Stayed Because of the Children”

A woman sat before Baba for a long time before speaking.

“Baba, my marriage has become unhappy. We hardly speak without fighting.”

“Why are you still there?” Baba asked.

“The children.”

Baba became thoughtful.

“My child, children need both parents.”

She nodded.

“But children also learn what love looks like by watching their parents.”

The woman became silent.

Baba continued carefully.

“I will not tell you to leave your marriage. And I will not tell you to remain in misery simply so people can say your marriage survived.”

“First ask whether what is broken can be repaired.”

“Can both of you admit your mistakes?”

“Can both of you change?”

“Can respect return?”

“If two people are willing to rebuild, an old house can become a home again.”

“But one person cannot repair a marriage while the other continues breaking it.”

— THE ELDERS HAVE SPOKEN —

YOUR TURN:
Should parents remain in an unhappy marriage primarily for the sake of their children?

13/09/2026

“My Husband Gives His Family Too Much Money”

A married woman came to Baba visibly frustrated.

“Baba, my husband works hard, but whenever his family asks for money, he gives it to them—even when our own household needs things.”

Baba asked:

“Does he discuss it with you?”

“No.”

“Then your problem may not be generosity.”

She looked puzzled.

Baba continued:

“It may be partnership.”

“A man should not forget the family that raised him because he married.”

“Neither should he neglect the home he built because he is trying to rescue everybody he came from.”

The woman listened.

“Marriage requires boundaries.”

“Help your parents. Help your siblings when you reasonably can.”

“But don't set your own house on fire because everybody wants warmth.”

“And remember this…”

Baba raised a finger.

“A spouse should not have to discover major family expenses after the money has already left.”

— THE ELDERS HAVE SPOKEN —

YOUR TURN:
After marriage, who should come first financially: your spouse and children, or your parents and siblings?

DAY 12 — “I Lent Him Money, and Now He Avoids Me”

A young man approached Baba angrily.

“Baba, when my friend needed money, he called me every day. I lent it to him. Now that I need my money back, he doesn't answer my calls.”

Baba laughed softly.

“Debt has a strange power, my child.”

“What power?”

“It can make the borrower angry with the person who helped him.”

The young man laughed despite himself.

Then Baba became serious.

“Do not be ashamed to ask for what belongs to you.”

“Kindness does not cancel accountability.”

“But learn something from this.”

“When lending money to someone you love, understand the risk before the money leaves your hand.”

“If losing that amount will destroy the relationship, think carefully before lending it.”

The young man asked:

“Should I forgive the debt?”

Baba shook his head.

“Forgiveness is your decision.”

“Repayment is still his responsibility.”

— THE ELDERS HAVE SPOKEN —

YOUR TURN:
If a friend repeatedly refuses to repay you, would you expose them publicly—or quietly walk away?

12/09/2026

“My Friend Is Doing Better Than Me”

A young man found Baba sitting beneath the tree.

“Baba, we started together. Today my friend owns a house and drives a beautiful car. I'm still struggling.”

Baba pointed toward two trees nearby.

“Do you see those trees?”

“Yes.”

“Were they planted around the same time?”

“Yes, Baba.”

“Are they the same height?”

“No.”

Baba smiled.

“Yet neither tree spends its day staring at the other.”

The young man became quiet.

“My child, comparison can make a man despise blessings he once prayed for.”

“You see your friend's car. You don't see his debts.”

“You see his celebration. You don't see his sleepless nights.”

“And sometimes, yes, another person really is doing better than you.”

Baba paused.

“That still does not make your life a failure.”

“Learn from people ahead of you. Don't hate them.”

“Then return to your own field and continue planting.”

— THE ELDERS HAVE SPOKEN —

YOUR TURN:
Be truthful: have you ever felt jealous when someone close to you became more successful?

11/09/2026

“My Parents Want Me to Marry Someone I Don't Love”

A young woman came to Baba with tears in her eyes.

“Baba, my parents have chosen a man for me. He is successful, respectful and from a good family.”

Baba smiled.

“Then why are you crying?”

“Because I don't love him.”

Baba's smile disappeared.

“My child, your parents may choose the wedding day. They may choose the food. They may even choose the clothes.”

He paused.

“But when everybody goes home after the celebration, you will remain in the marriage.”

“My parents say they know what is best for me.”

“They may,” Baba replied. “So listen to their reasons. Wisdom does not reject advice simply because it is uncomfortable.”

Then Baba leaned forward.

“But advice and ownership are different things.”

“Marriage is too long a journey to begin simply because you are afraid of disappointing people.”

“Respect your parents.”

“Listen carefully.”

“But never hand another person the steering wheel of a journey only you must live.”

— THE ELDERS HAVE SPOKEN —

YOUR TURN:
Should parents have a major say in who their son or daughter marries?

10/09/2026

My Best Friend Betrayed Me.

A young man arrived at Baba's compound unusually quiet.

Baba looked at him.

“My child, who has stolen your voice?”

The young man sighed.

“My best friend betrayed me, Baba. I told him something nobody else knew. Today, the whole village knows.”

Baba remained silent for a moment.

Then he picked up a calabash and poured some water onto the ground.

“Put the water back inside.”

The young man looked confused.

“Baba, that's impossible.”

Baba nodded.

“So are some words once they leave the mouth.”

The young man lowered his head.

“But listen carefully. Your mistake was trusting the wrong person. Don't make another mistake by deciding never to trust anyone again.”

“Some people deserve access to your heart. Others should only be allowed to greet you at the gate.”

“Forgive if you can. But remember what the experience taught you.”

— THE ELDERS HAVE SPOKEN —

YOUR TURN:
If your closest friend revealed your deepest secret, could you ever trust that person again?

08/09/2026

I Caught My Partner Cheating.

A young woman came to Baba with anger in her eyes.
“Baba, I discovered that the man I love has been seeing another woman. He is begging me to forgive him. He says it was a mistake.”
Baba remained silent for a moment.
Then he asked:
“My child, was it one mistake—or many decisions hidden from you?”
She looked at him.
“Many decisions, Baba.”
Baba nodded.
“There is your first answer.”
“Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing.”
“You may forgive someone so that bitterness does not live inside you. But that does not automatically mean you must give that person access to your heart again.”
“What if he truly changes?” she asked.
“Then time will reveal it.”
Baba leaned back.
“Words can change in one night. Character takes longer.”
“Never let fear of being alone persuade you to accept what destroys your peace.”
The elders have spoken.
Can you truly trust a cheating partner again?

07/09/2026

My Wife Earns More Than Me.

A married man came to Baba looking uncomfortable.
“Baba, my wife recently got a promotion. She now earns much more than I do. I am happy for her…but something inside me doesn't feel right.”
Baba smiled.
“My child, if your wife's lamp becomes brighter, does your house become darker?”
The man paused.
“No, Baba.”
“Then why are you fighting light that is shining inside your own home?”
The man lowered his head.
Baba continued:
“Marriage is not a competition to discover who is more important.”
“Today she may carry more. Tomorrow, life may require you to carry more.”
“A wise couple does not compete over who brought the food.”
“They are grateful that the family can eat.”
Then Baba added:
“But both of you must maintain respect. Money should never become a weapon in marriage—whether it is earned by the husband or the wife.”
The elders have spoken.
Can a marriage remain peaceful when the wife earns considerably more than the husband?

06/09/2026

My Brother Won't Repay My Money.

Two brothers had stopped speaking because of money.
One of them came to Baba.
“Baba, I lent my brother money when he was struggling. He promised to repay me in three months. It has been almost two years. Yet I see him spending money on other things.”
Baba asked:
“Have you spoken to him?”
“Many times.”
“And what does he say?”
“He keeps telling me we're family.”
Baba shook his head.
“My child, family should be a reason to honour your word, not an excuse to break it.”
The young man listened carefully.
“Money has destroyed many relationships, not because money is evil, but because money reveals character.”
“So what should I do?”
“Ask firmly for what belongs to you. But learn from what happened.”
Baba paused.
“Never lend money you cannot survive losing—and never allow love to prevent you from recognising irresponsibility.”
The elders have spoken.
Should family members be expected to repay loans exactly like everyone else?

05/09/2026

My Family Thinks I'm a Failure.

A young woman came to Baba in tears.
“Baba, everyone in my family is doing better than me. At family gatherings, they compare me with my cousins. I'm beginning to believe I'm a failure.”
Baba picked up two leaves from the ground.
“My child, did these two leaves fall from the tree at the same moment?”
“No, Baba.”
“Yet they came from the same tree.”
She looked at him.
Baba continued:
“Being from the same family does not mean you must have the same journey.”
“One person may succeed at twenty-five. Another at forty.”
“The morning does not insult the evening because it arrived first.”
“Stop measuring your life with another person's clock.”
She wiped her tears.
Baba smiled.
“Your responsibility is not to arrive before everybody else.”
“It is to make sure you don't stop walking.”
The elders have spoken.
Have family comparisons ever made you question your progress?

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Mikveh Israel

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