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20/10/2026

There's nobody out there. That's the part we built.

Evan Marc Katz has coached daters for more than twenty years.

He takes a client's list and does the arithmetic out loud — this requirement, then that one, then the next — until the pool is almost empty. And none of it has asked yet whether she would even like the man.

"Everybody's narrowing their searches, and then complaining there's nobody out there. It's because we've eliminated everybody who's not identical to us."

The shortage is real. We just built it ourselves.

Full conversation on Challenges of a Matchmaker — link in bio.



Full conversation on Challenges of a Matchmaker:
https://youtu.be/JN3UMQhfpMw

19/10/2026

Chemistry is the icing. Most people are trying to live on it.

Linda V. Goldfischer runs Prestige Matchmaking Pros in Southwest Florida and has been matchmaking for over two decades.

She says couples tend to end at the three, four, five month mark, and that by then nothing has gone wrong. The chemistry faded, the newness faded, and what was underneath turned out to be nothing.

Her model: "Think of it like a triangle. The foundation should be compatibility. And then as you move up, you become friends and you have connection, and then chemistry's at the top. It's the icing on the cake."

Nobody leaves at month four because the feeling died. They leave because the feeling was the whole structure.

Full conversation on Challenges of a Matchmaker:
https://youtu.be/mAAfdwC93Ho

18/10/2026

They don't start the date. They start the investigation.

Liudmyla Ruf has run her own international marriage agency in Germany since 2009.

Her description of how people ruin a match before it begins: they arrive looking for the flaw. "Why he's so handsome, or she's so beautiful and she's still single — something wrong with her, let me find out what is wrong."

She has a word for it: "like detective, detective story."

Nobody has ever been talked into love by someone who was collecting evidence.

Full conversation on Challenges of a Matchmaker.

Full conversation on Challenges of a Matchmaker 👇
https://youtu.be/pDO5cLdcaBc

15/10/2026

You're not dating. You're just busy looking like you are.

Sarah Louise Ryan runs two dating agencies in London and is a practising relational psychotherapist.

"Stop being so busy looking like you're doing the work."

Joining communities that aren't integrated. Talking about dating. Talking about why the apps aren't working. And not going to the events where you would actually meet someone, because that part is frightening.

Then the line a therapist isn't supposed to say: "there's only so much therapy one can do."

Working on yourself can become the most respectable way to avoid the thing.

Full conversation on Challenges of a Matchmaker 👇
https://youtu.be/UIhgoXmIRoQ

14/10/2026

You didn't date ten different people. You dated the same relationship ten times.

Kristine Garner runs Star Date 444 in Utah. She says the moment that surprises her clients is laying out every relationship that didn't work and seeing they were all the same — only the people changed.

The women who chase keep attracting men who are avoidant. The men pull back, the women chase harder, and "the efforts they're putting in is actually creating the opposite of what they want."

Trying harder is not neutral. It's the thing selecting the next person.

Full conversation on Challenges of a Matchmaker.
https://youtu.be/BgJE8HBN2L4

13/10/2026

She found her husband in her mid-40s.

Lisa Ratner spent her twenties and thirties dating — online dating, before there were apps. Long relationships, but not the right ones.

Then she left a career advising chief HR officers and became a matchmaker, and co-founded Curated Dates Collective with Haley Hurst.

"I really am able to relate to my clients. I have literally been in their shoes."

Most people in this work learned it from the outside. She learned it the long way.

Full conversation on Challenges of a Matchmaker 👇
https://youtu.be/cItVfzkJvqU

12/10/2026

She said no after the first date. They're married now.

Anna Harshvardhan is chief operating officer of Let's Marry, a matrimonial advisory in India. Her client came back and said the man barely spoke the whole time.

Before the office accepted that no, they asked her one question: was he warm to you? She said yes. Warm, just quiet.

So they swapped the coffee date for a bowling alley — somewhere nobody is forced to make conversation, and the conversation happens anyway.

They didn't change the man. They changed the room.

Full conversation on Challenges of a Matchmaker 👇
https://youtu.be/F1xBfedg7B8

08/10/2026

"The ones that hit you hard, like lightning — most of the time, those end disastrously."

Ann Parnes practised law before this — the DA's office, juvenile court. She left, got certified as a life coach, and started matchmaking in New Orleans ten years ago.

She said it while explaining why to say yes to a second date: healthy connection and chemistry grow. The lightning kind, most of the time, does not.

Notice what she did not say. She did not say chemistry doesn't matter. She said it grows.

The lightning is a report on the first hour. Most people read it as a forecast.

Full conversation on Challenges of a Matchmaker 👇
https://youtu.be/08dsGDzrjUk

07/10/2026

"I'm taking a break from dating." You have heard it. You may have said it.

Christiana Maxion has been matching for six years from the UAE. Her read is that the break is not from dating at all — it is from expectation. People wait months for one date, then arrive needing to know on sight whether this is their husband or their wife.

Her rule has two halves, and most people only do the first: say yes to meeting people, and drop the expectation that this one is your spouse.

A date you waited six months for is not a date. It is a verdict.

Full conversation on Challenges of a Matchmaker 👇
https://youtu.be/h2FEukxzkWE

06/10/2026

She retired after twenty years as a therapist. It lasted three weeks.

Marnie Zang Katularu is a licensed professional counselor in Scottsdale, Arizona. For years her practice was mostly couples.

"I saw a lot of couples that should have never been matched in the first place. They were completely misaligned."

So she retired, and planned to play with her grandchildren. Three weeks later she was on her cousin's couch asking a different question: what if you matched people on clinical studies instead, so a romantic match had some scientific validity to it?

She says she has four marriages out of it so far.

Most people in a job like that learn to repair. She decided the repair was happening too late.

— Marnie Zang Katularu, on Challenges of a Matchmaker.

https://youtu.be/dA_UKG8aE-M

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