Grishma Shah - Inspirational Leadership Coach

03/02/2021

TWO SIDES OF THE COIN

Side 1:
People can have the best of intentions when they tell their loved ones how they should be living their lives. But often times, when we are in struggle, especially an inner conflict, we are seeking to be supported not solved! We seek empathy not sympathy!

How many of you relate to this?

Side 2:
It is difficult to see our loved ones struggling and so we rush to them with solutions out of care and concern because we have faced it, fought it. They’re weak and so we might save them from taking wrong decisions.

How many of you relate to this?

Who decides which side of the coin is right or wrong? Nobody! Why even care about what is right and who is right? Social media brought us together but why have we lost touch with ourselves? Do we ‘feel’ enough?

It takes a lot of courage to accept what someone is going through internally and if they are trying to tell you ‘how they feel’, it shouldn’t end in an argument. Sometimes just a hug can work like a miracle! If not, try listening and helping them vent it out! Maybe that’s all they need at that time. Maybe then they’re more open to solutions.

A big bear hug to everyone who needs it 🤗 we’re all fighting some or the other battle. Have a week full of hugs and laughter!
Cheers!

05/12/2020

Says: MY SPIRIT IS HUNGRY…

“I have suddenly become to everything unnecessary.”

“I feel drained and less .”

“I try to think but can’t seem to feel that way!”

“I was never so insecure and self-doubting with a victim mentality! I am losing my .”

“My mind can’t seem to shut the noise of the past and I’m constantly afraid of getting hurt again. I push people away and eventually end up being lonely and .”

“I was never a person who believes money, fame or approval of others is needed to feel safe and worthy. But these days I find myself fishing for attention and validation! Why?”

“I miss being myself. I feel my soul is missing!”

Can you relate to any of these? We all do at some point in life and that’s okay! I’m having my favourite hot coffee with some dark chocolate in it. What are you drinking?

We cannot feel our soul until we ourselves, but we cannot love ourselves until we experience the love that comes from what we feed our soul with.

We all have a child-like core self, the innocent aspect of us, full of love, , , innate wisdom, , , and purpose. Over these years as we grow up, we keep adding layers to our self. We all have a wounded self - the ego that further divides itself into a conditioned self - the beliefs and insecurities and a false self - the tags we live. The real confusion starts when the wounded self starts wrapping the child-like self in many different layers to protect it from getting hurt. And the answer lies in how clear your INTENT is.

UNDERSTANDING THE INTENT
I am a firm believer of the intent. It is the primary motivation behind everything we do and every decision we make. There are only two possible intents we can have in any given moment:

The intent to safe guard : WOUNDED SELF

When we..
- Seek love and support
- Try to control our surroundings
- Are fearful and critical/finding faults
- Are anxious/depressed
- Avoid pain/painful situations

The intent to love : CHILD-LIKE SELF

When we..
- Give love and support
- Try to empower inner self
- Are fearless and curious/learning
- Are calm and motivated
- Embrace all feelings and learns to find peace

There’s nothing right or wrong about what you’re doing. It’s about finding the right balance. It is about self-realisation, uncovering your core self and your intent towards becoming the best version of yourself , , and spiritually.

I’m trying to experiment and find out a recipe to feed my soul. A simplified version of ‘How to unwind your CHILD-LIKE self’. Would you be interested?

Pic:

21/07/2018

says: THE INSPIRATION RECIPE

I make and lose money all the time. We all do. Don’t we? I may not always be money-rich, yet I call myself wealthy. I do that because I realise I’ve spent most of my life so far nurturing relationships and that very thing becomes the core of my personality and my being; as a professional, as a mother, as a daughter or as a friend. It is ridiculously romantic outside and I’m sitting on my couch writing to you sipping a cup of coffee with dark chocolate in it. Loving it! How about you?

That Connects

How you are perceived is every bit an important part of building for business success. Everyday we meet and listen to endless stories from all kinds of people, but the stories we remember most are the ones where someone was real with us; People who were willing to be vulnerable so that you can open up, unapologetically! And then, you want to be like them because they are !

But…

You have a lot to share, thanks to the knowledge and experience you’ve acquired along these years…but… the moment you’re asked to share it among a group of people or audience at large, you want to hide.

Or

You’re a talker in your limited close circle…but…you get jitters connecting with people at a networking event.

Or

You really want to yourself into a better YOU… but… you just don’t want to hype or tell anybody about it

If you find yourself falling under any of the above, I have some good news for you! (Holy cats! I’m serious!)

I love to love people, especially those who know how to make conversations magical, in ways that bend my thoughts and change my chemicals. I love people who are working on finding their inner voice in one form or another. I love getting a glimpse into your world and how you conquer your struggles day in day out. I have always wanted to be a part of that; you know it, don’t you? And so this new gig!

For now, I want to leave you thinking what could I be coming up with. Come step into my kitchen to whip up recipes for communication where I will share my secret recipes for inspirational ! (Count on me for endless fun!)

Stay tuned here and tell me what you think about it?

Cheers!

P.S I'm guilty for not writing to you for so long. It is because I was planning something exciting. You are going to love it!

30/03/2018

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As companies increasingly need to become more dynamic, interconnected and flexible, soft skills are critical. Resilience training experts say they are foundational to creating strong employees, teams, leaders and organizations. Here are the most critical soft skills to develop them in your team.

22/08/2017

says – THE INNER VOICE SIMPLIFIED

That moment when you stop taking advice from everyone who tell us what we ‘should do’ or ‘could not do’, we become free to explore the towards what we’re meant to do. It’s drizzling a little here right now and I’m absolutely in love with my mug of hot coffee with some dark chocolate in it. Reading and coffee is like a love story. Isn’t it? Grab your cup and read on…

Who do you think is the most under the sun?

Your boss, your favourite , actor or that acquaintance you envy? Nah! It’s your inner voice. A voice that never leaves you and will scream louder if you ignore it. Ever felt those butterflies in your stomach, mild chest congestion, or maybe just a whisper in your ear at the right time? Have you faced something similar that saved you or changed your outlook towards forever? (Comment below and let me know!)

I’ve been talking and writing a lot about ‘self-talk’ but majority of the times, I presume, our challenge is we often don’t know how to begin meeting ourselves. I’ve been asked this same question, “There are so many going on in your head at the same time. How do you figure out which one’s your ‘inner voice’?

My Answer: Unless and until you take some time to breathe and learn to segregate ‘what you’re thinking’ from ‘how you’re feeling’, it would be difficult for you to listen to your ‘gut’. Our brain is, simply put, divided into three major regions: Thinking region, feeling region and the automated (a small region that generates fight or flight responses.)

THE –

- Prioritise ‘sitting alone in ’ time in your schedule. (Resist the urge to post about your achievement at that time on social media)

- Listen to your body! Your inner voice knows you wont take it seriously so it sends you sensory signals. (They will be soft and easily escapable if other voices in your head are louder! In this case, go back to point number one)

- You already know what inspires and drives your motivation. We look up to what we see around for what we want to become. Make your private journal and list down the common qualities that you admire in your favourite people and how it resonates with you. When you find yourself stuck or need help with making an important decision, think back and ask yourself what those people you admire would do if they were you? Try to notice how much energy each answer holds and how it leaves you .

Let's Talk!
I would love to know your inner voice story. Share your wisdom, it may be just right for somebody somewhere!

Cheers!

10/08/2017

says: A QUIET PLACE THAT KNOWS THE TRUTH

Abhimanyu is about 6 feet tall, good-looking guy in his late thirties with thinning grey hair who loves books and wears nerd glasses (Never seen anybody pull-off that kinda glasses and grey hair so well!). He heads the marketing department of a leading MNC in Noida. I was in Noida day before yesterday for an assignment and I decided to give him a surprise. It happened the other way round actually.

“Abhi… are you okay? Have never seen you like this. Is anything bothering you? You want to talk about it?” (When you find your close friend, very close friend actually, not at his best…)

“I don’t know really. I feel like a robot. A monotonous routine, echoing thoughts that sometimes have no consequence to how I feel…Grish… I feel I kind of have lost my way home!”

“Hmm…” …(Silence)… I offered him a glass of water.

“I think I’m doing the right things, but I just can’t seem to reach where I really belong! I’m losing , and a lot more. My marriage is failing. I’ve tried to change myself, worked on my bad and my …. Where have I gone wrong Grish?”

“When you say you’ve tried working on your temper and ego, what did you do Abhi?” It wasn’t about that alone but the answer to this, I felt, might help me find out the real conflict.

“I used to yell and over-react when something or someone triggered my hot buttons but over these years I have managed to reduce the intensity of those reactions.” He wasn’t sounding very sure.

“How do you do that?” I was getting curious…

“I now excuse myself the moment I realise that something or someone has started to trigger negative emotions (read anger) in me. It takes me sometime to numb those till I’m back to my normal self.”

In my career so far, I’ve seen many who choose detachment over discomfort and what it costs them later in life. None of us like experiencing unpleasant emotions. But without accepting them as an inevitable part of life and trying to experience them fully without escaping the discomfort, the journey to mental and emotional potency is incomplete.

ASK YOURSELF (Read him/her if it relates to someone)

- Have you ever found yourself becoming overly defensive, aggressive or vulnerable whenever you fail or feel challenged?

- Are you always tempted to escape uncomfortable situations and feelings?

- Do you also find deep conversations, exhilarated emotions or peaceful surroundings overwhelming?

ZOOM OUT ( again!)

A couple of years ago when I experienced similar conflict, apart from a healthy lifestyle, good sleep routines and introspection, this exercise worked for me…

Zoom out that unpleasant episode. Imagine yourself as someone witnessing that episode. Pay attention to your body language and tone. Pay attention to other person’s body language and tone. Then, ask yourself these 5 questions:

1) How was I feeling when it started? (Put yourself in the shoes of ‘you’, the other person and ‘you’ as a witness)
2) Why did I react the way I did?
3) What effect did my reaction have on the other person?
4) Should or could I have handled it differently?
5) How did I feel after it was all over? (Put yourself in the shoes of ‘you’, the other person and ‘you’ as a witness)

Would you try doing this? I’m excited to know your findings. Inbox me or comment below. Have a great weekend ahead.

Cheers!

13/07/2017

I thank my family, friends, clients, readers and well-wishers for motivating me always! You all are an important part of my journey!

27/12/2016

says:

TO BEING & RADIATING !

In a world where lot of people are distracted, destructive or disengaged, there are some people who are intoxicating to be with. They’re magnetic! You want to be with them often as their charm has a natural ability to shift your mood just by being with you for a while. They’re adored, loved, trusted, remembered and are usually influential. Their magic lies, not so much in what they say or do, but how they make you feel. You keep thinking about them for a while after they’re gone (not necessarily in a romantic, ‘love at first sight’ kind of way.) They leave you feeling restored, energised and with the impression that you’ve met someone really amazing who made you feel great about yourself.

To charismatic people, radiating positive vibes comes as naturally as breathing! Some are gifted; others can build this capacity with a little help and practice. By now, I’m sure you’re dying to know how. Radiating positive vibes and being charismatic, is more of a psychological exercise along with a few enhancements on behaviour and how you carry yourself. (FYI - Radiating vibes is for the open-minded. You must be vulnerable to your emotions and experiences in order to radiate it to others.)

So, here you go…

1) Imagine your body emitting !

Emitting positive vibes starts with your relationship with ‘you’. What would your life be like if you woke up one day as your fully realized, actualized self? When you are completely and audaciously yourself, it calms you down, creates a positive aura around you and then… incredible things happen! Doors you never knew existed open right in front of you. (Being yourself does not mean you have to force yourself to ‘become better’, but it means fully accepting yourself and being absolutely comfortable being “YOU’. Please note, moreover, that ‘accepting yourself’ is not the same thing as giving time, energy or attention to what you don't like about yourself. It is simply accepting that they are present, and then moving on. In that acceptance, you'll find the most relief of all.)

2) Let your body do the talking – To your mind and to others!

The connection between our mind and our body is a strong one, and what we do with our body, has the power to influence what we think and feel, which then affects the way people think and feel about us. Imagine yourself entering a room full of people you’ve never met. To be nervous is very much human but getting into a confident posture can actually help you feel more self-assured. Hold a confident pose for two minutes (Do it in private if that feels easier); stand tall, chin up, smile a little and look around as you walk in. You would not only feel less nervous but you’ll also appear more approachable.

3) Make self-talk – Just like your brain’s fight or flight response!
Our brain is wired to sense the danger and release fight or flight signals to our body such that it is an automated response generated by our brain. Similarly, with practice, we can make self-talk a subconscious activity where in every millisecond you’re fully aware of what and how you project yourself. Realise what kind of -talk helps or what kind of rabbit hole thought patterns you fall into when a situation starts getting tricky. Seek help if you feel you get trapped in your thoughts while trying to self-talk. (Watch Inside-Out - The movie)

4) Don’t try to be !

We’ve all been with people who grab even a barely-there opportunity to talk about how great they are. The person who exudes confidence and positivity but believes they are better than everyone else will have limited influence, and limited likability. Be curious, more than ‘clever’. We sparkle when we talk about what we love. If you can give people the opportunity to talk about something that makes them light up, that warm, content feeling they have while they’re talking will be associated with you. Do the little things that show you’re interested – nods, uh-huh, smiling and then ask for more. Research has shown that asking people to tell you more will instantly make you more positive and . Let the other person be the centre of the world for a little while and feel what it’s like to have your attention and energy. (FYI - Asking people to tell you more does not necessarily mean you agree to everything they say. It means that you’re open to listening, without judging, and this can feel captivating to be around.)

5) Get up – Dress up!

Research has time and again shown a deep connect between how you feel and how you dress. Going out dressed up after a bad day actually helps change the way you think and then, the way you feel. The way you dress helps you get noticed and everything else helps you keep them attracted towards you like a magnet!

Being has nothing to do with being the life of the party, having plenty of life experience to share or having plenty to say. It’s about how people feel around you, and when you learn to do it well (Without manipulating yourself!), you’ll have more meaningful relationships and life in general.

Hope you like this one. See you soon…

Cheers!

02/12/2016

says: HAPPINESS IS…WHEN YOU CAN READ VIBES!

“Grish, you met Vidyut for the first time…how do you find him? Do we look good together?” Asked Meera anxiously.

Meera and I have been friends from the college days. We met today at a café where she had come with her fiancé, Vidyut. It was an engagement arranged by their parents. She seemed very much attracted to him and he knew exactly what to say to melt her heart! He was smart and playful. In the first look, they seemed perfectly happy with each other; yet, I felt ‘something missing’. His eyes seemed vacant and his gestures, as if, were far from his emotional state! There was something about his vibes…

I’m sure you’ve heard people talking about "vibes" before. They say energy doesn’t lie. Whether it is about the ‘word from the author’ in an amazing book, a stranger passing by, the radio personality you’ve never met, or a feeling you get when someone makes you feel inspired, charmed or even off-put —we remember most of the things/people based on how we ‘feel’ about them. Vibes are essentially the code for captivating people around you through the energy you radiate.

While some people can inspire and motivate you through their aura, there are some who drain your energy and you instinctively would want to get away. I‘ve observed how people go to great lengths, purposely or not, to appear in certain ways to impress, say the right thing, or sell you on something but the “self” isn‘t aligned with their true personality and emotions and thus we fail to connect with them.

A simple rule to reading people’s vibes says, look within: How do you feel? Does your energy go up or down? Do you feel inspired or less confident? - Easier said than done, as sometimes we ourselves are not sure what we feel and what we project. And in case of attraction, alas, the desiring mind can downplay your inner voice…beware!

So what to do? You may ask…

Here’s What To Consider While Reading Vibes

(It is important to meditate your own emotional state at that point in time for you to be receptive to vibes. You may start with taming your mind to be open, calm and curious. If you’re able to do that, your brain will release ‘feel-good hormones’ and you naturally will have a smile on your face; an important sign of being open and receptive.)

PRESENCE:
- Their Overall Presence Should Make You Feel: Warm, peaceful, welcoming and stimulating like sunshine or a breath of fresh air

- Their Overall Presence Should Not Make You Feel: Draining, detached, angry or depressed

EYES:
- When You Look The Person In The Eye, Do You Feel: Trust, and tranquil? (Smiling eyes are always sparkling!)

TOUCH:
- Their Touch (Handshake, Hug or Kiss) Should Be: Confident, comfortable and comforting

- Their Touch Should Not Be: Anxious, awkward or aggressive

If any of these isn’t satisfactory, or you feel they are pretentious, it’s a red flag! Be cautious and take time to observe. Watch how they treat you. Notice if their words back up their behaviour.

This doesn’t, however, mean that you have to avoid everyone who gives you a strange feeling right off the bat. When passion or emotions blur your clarity, sometimes, trust your inner voice that already knows how to sense and read vibes. Engage yourself more often in ‘self talk’ and ‘introspection’. The more you are self-aware, easier it is for you to be receptive to vibes.

Hope you like this one. In my next article, I will share with you a few secrets to radiating charisma and positive vibes. Stay tuned….

Cheers!

Picture Courtesy : ShadowinLight on DeviantArt