16/10/2024
"I am Prof. K. K. Mehta. You may call me KK. And as you experience me over the next five days, you will get to know 'of' me better."
That's how KK introduced himself to the participants of a 5-day leadership lab that we were running offsite.
During breaks, day-end and at the end of the five days, it was astonishing to see the participants throng around KK as if he had cast a spell. They were curious; wanted to know him more closely. Inquired about different facets of his life, fully relishing the stories he had to tell. Inter-personal boundaries had dissolved. There were light-hearted banters as the stream of conversation flowed on freely.
This speaks volumes of the richness of experience of himself that KK left the participants with. Quoting him, he "touched" them.
When I asked him why he chose this experiential way of being known to the participants, he quipped:
“In my becoming, my being is lost”
This was KK.
I met him first when he turned out to be the facilitator of my first Basic Human Process Lab with ISABS in the late 80’s. Thereafter, along the course of my 15-yearlong journeying with Applied Behavioral and humanistic sciences, with ISABs, I bumped into him on several occasions as my facilitator. With every meeting we were moving beyond mere acquaintance, as a bond of mutual fondness was beginning to grow between us.
In 2003 I moved on to continue my study with human ontological sciences and existentialism. Sometimes soon KK and I re-connected as he relocated to Bangalore. We started meeting often and as an overlay on the already developed bond of fondness, a mentor-mentee relationship started growing. It was never a classical mentor-mentee relationship but something that we co-crafted more in the lines of unconditional love and friendship. For hours together we would chat, sing, dance, argue, debate and even fight at times. There wasn’t ever any agenda nor any goal to achieve. And yet, I could observe myself growing wiser and deeper by the day – more human, more authentic, more spontaneous and more courageous to bare myself.
Around 2010 I was at a crucial juncture. I was taking baby steps to start my coaching practice at the behest of some senior leaders who wanted to be coached by me to seek direction and growth in their professional career. Again, not so much by any conscious design but through a process of natural osmosis, my association with KK deeply influenced my approach to coaching (which otherwise was very much the standard approach any other coach - XCC certified or not – would take). Unknown to me and KK he was shaping not only my life but also my approach to, coaching which emerged as the pioneering practice of Transformational Coaching.
Looking back, here are some of the ways in which my practice of coaching has been influenced / impacted by KK’s benign power of presence:
1. There is no agenda. It gets co-created as we converse meaningfully and authentically.
2. There are no destinations, only sojourns.
3. Reflection cannot be imposed. It needs a coach to create a reflective environment.
4. Don’t confront. Care-front.
5. Blend advocacy with inquiry to help the other explore without feeling threatened.
6. 'Whose need is it any ways' - let the clients' need prevail.
7. Loosen the grip of design to allow Tao to flow.
This post is not meant to be a eulogy of sorts. Yes, I was remembering KK and that’s how I started writing this post. However, somewhere along the way I got in touch with some rare and precious insights he left me with. Not through any lecture, but, like a true enabler, by his sheer authentic presence.
These are insights that have made me stand out in the crowd and sought after, not just by clients but also other certified coaches.
If you are a coach and wanting to make a transformative difference to yourself, your practice and your client, I invite you to reflect upon the messages out here. Feel free to reach out if you need further guidance.
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