30/10/2022
a Slice of Peace 26.
DYNAMICS OF INTERFACE (contd...)
CONGRUENCE
Alignment in social interactions is called ‘congruence’.
Congruence indicates an accurate matching of experience, awareness and communications. External manifestations of congruence are honestly, genuineness, transparency and spontaneity in relationships. On the other hand, an incongruence person is cowardly, shadowed, defensive and always wears a mask. The greater the congruence of experience, awareness and communication, the more satisfactory will mutual relationships be. Genuineness is synonymous with congruence, i.e., there is consistency between three dimensions of the person – experience, awareness and communication of that awareness. Genuineness means honesty with oneself and with others.
Incongruence is a negation of the process of evolution and alignment, e.g., consuming narcotic drugs is incongruence, in the sense that it negates the continuous flowering of each cell in our body. In other words, a person who is addicted to drugs is not able to combine his mental processes and physical activities.
From the psychological point of view, ‘congruence’ is the key function in a group – family, research group, department or quality circle. According to Card Rogers, the concept of congruence is the psychological function of interpersonal relationships.
Congruence in experience and communication is an evolving phenomenon. At the early stages of group formation (say a task force to undertake a project) or when new members are inducted into a group, stereotyped and superficial behaviour emerges. However, as involvement between members deepens, a greater level of congruence is attained.
In organisations, we notice incongruent behaviour not only in attitudes and relationships within groups, but also between policies and programmes, philosophy and activities. A few examples of incongruence are:
Placing an excessive emphasis on cost effectiveness versus wasteful expenditure by those who insist on reducing cost.
Long term planning versus impulsive or instinctual action
Concern for people versus policies binding the employees at all levels of positions and activities.
Reasons for incongruent behaviour might be:
Non-acceptance of the role one is in
Lack of concern
Pear of facing reality
Feeling of insecurity
Inspiring leadership is an expression of congruent behaviour. Managers might be proficient with management principles, perspectives and ideas, but what is more important is that their actions influence others. The best way to instil passion among people is role modelling.
ECOLOGY
In chapter two we discussed the concept of ecology which signifies the balancing of inner search and interface. Social ecology is an important concern when we discuss alignment. Any change or goal should be viewed within the wider context of the individual’s life, relationships and the world in general and the consequences thought through, before pursuing the goal. Negative consequences may necessitate revision of goals. The ecology issue is automatically taken care of where win-win situations are considered.
In an organisation too, being mindful of others existence helps us to build better relationships. To achieve this, certain ecological checks may be useful, e.g., we can pursue various methods to advance in our career. However, if we are caught up in the rat race and become unmindful of others in our zeal and enthusiasm to succeed, we may find latter that such a success does not give us ultimate satisfaction.
Ecology includes internal ecology - the structure in which our meta-programmes, values, beliefs are aligned.
Ecology answers the following questions:
• Whom do I live with while I pursue my aspirations?
• How important are they to me?
• How do I balance the various sub systems within myself?
• How do I align my aspirations with those of the important people in my life?
• Where, when and with whom do I want to have my aspirations fulfilled?
• How does realisations of my aspirations affect the lives of people who matter in my life?
PRICE
Price is the compensation paid when there is an act of incongruence or when ecology is not considered. In fact, not considering ecology itself is incongruence. A price is attached to everything, every moment and it is spent in the form of energy. I t may be paid by the initiative or by somebody else within the system. The price paid for incongruent behaviour is in the form of depletion of energy and creativity (‘prana’), pain, mental agony and emotional stress. When an act of alignment is again initiated, in replenishes acceptance and in turn provides renewed energy from within.
‘Executive stress’ is a price paid for being incongruent while working in an organisation. Anger, guilt and shame are examples of ‘emotional price’.
