30/07/2022
The sleep lens feels huge, but we can look beyond it to find other wonderful qualities about our babies 💛
Babies get dysregulated, or “dialled up” for a bunch of reasons. This can be tiredness, but it can also be boredom, hunger, sensory overwhelm, needing connection… a whole lot of reasons. And we can miss those other needs if we see things only through the sleep lens.
The sleep lens means that we’re looking at the day and our baby with a filter that brings sleep and tiredness to front of mind. We see a yawn and think that our baby must be tired, so we hurry to get them to bed - only to have them not want to sleep, because in fact they were bored, not sleepy. We see our baby get grumpy when they’ve been awake a bit longer than usual and we panic that we’ve broken them with overtiredness - when in reality, we can usually calm them down and coregulate with them if we’re not totally stressed about what might happen if they don’t sleep.
The sleep lens is why I don’t give you timings you must stick to, or lists of tired cues to watch out for. Baby cues can mean lots of things - by being curious and looking at your baby with a sense of wonder, you’ll learn their unique patterns and signals. If you’re not sure if they’re tired or there might be something else going on, instead of tying yourself in knots trying to make sleep happen, first try getting them to calm down (or dial down) using two b**a tools you have at your disposal: feeds, and sensory nourishment.
A feed will often settle a dysregulated baby. Be flexible with feeds and lean into the fact that babies will sometimes fall asleep feeding - this just shows their sleep pressure is high and you’ve calmed them down enough to go to sleep.
Otherwise, sensory nourishment will usually do the job - a change of scene and activity, especially if this involves going outside, where there is an abundance of input for all your baby’s senses.
Taking off the sleep lens can be remarkably freeing for parents. If your days are stressful because of naps and timings and worries about overtiredness - try taking off the sleep lens and doing a bit of experimenting instead.