26/07/2024
BLESS ME FIRST DEVOTIONALS
BEFORE YOU SAY YES, I DO
1. don’t be in a rash to say “yes I do”
—At times, in a situation where someone is in long expectation over something, and luckily the thing that has long been expected just come up one day, it always feels like to quickly get the grab of that thing so that the expectation could quickly come to an end and be no more. Yes, many of us feel this way, especially if the thing expected is very important to us. But let me tell you here, your journey to marriage is not like this—it’s a matter of being slow and steady and study to discover the true-life partner! Though you have been expecting—perhaps for so long—a real and dependable life partner to come on your way, a person who surely will come if you exercise patience and pray very well. But, don’t because of the long expectation say “yes I do” in a rash to any man who approaches for marriage proposal just because you are very much in need of a life partner if you want to succeed in choosing a life partner. No matter what, be slow, steady and study to discover the truth about whom you are going to have the whole rest of your life shared with.
2. Don’t fall in love head over heels at first sight to say “yes I do”
—This is one of the common mistakes I have found so many youths (most young women) making today. The habit of completely falling in love for man at first sight without even thinking twice about who the man could really be has caused many young women to fall for wolfs in sheep’s clothing men, who are full of deception, and they (these young ladies) are by this way making themselves appeared so cheap before men. Please don’t hear me wrong: there is nothing bad in that you, as a young woman, see a man and love him, but it shouldn’t happen to the extent of losing control to say irrational “yes I do” at first sight of the man maybe because he appears to be within your taste: or maybe he possesses some qualities you desire and like to find in any man that will be the father of your children (your life partner). Though you love him, and you are happy as he has come to you for proposal, but I advise that you hide your feelings first in the moment that you both meet until you see genuine reasons to say “yes I do” to him. Note: it’s because once you are in, to get out will not be that easy! The journey to marriage is not all about having a taste or loving at first sight, but it’s all about finding a partner who would give you rest and happiness and help your destiny till the end of your life.
3. Don’t be deceived by his outward appearance to say “yes I do”
—It’s found out that there are many a young woman who has fallen for men irrationally just because of outward appearance, perhaps, because the man is tall, handsome, clever, cute, fluent in speaking and presentable in the society. Outward appearance is not at all one of the perfect ways to discovering a desired life partner, but it’s sure way to making wrong choice. The Bible says: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praise“—Psalm 31: 30. Note: as the verse quoted here is applicable to woman so it’s applicable to man.
4. Don’t be deceived by his sweet words to say “yes I do”—
Today’s young women should be very careful as there are many young men who are so clever in fabricating lies to make them look like they are saying the truth before any woman they happen to find themselves, which make them seemed to be—a serious person who is really looking for a woman to marry—ready for marriage before women. These type of men have sugarcoated lips to deceive a women into their net effortlessly and so easily. Don’t quickly say yes to this type of man, but instead try to study and confirm the truth about him before ever you say “yes I do”.
5. Don’t be carried away by his status/position to say “yes I do“—”
All that glitters is not gold”, they say. I said in the above number three point that you should not say “yes I do” to a man’s proposal just because of his outward appearance, and also here I will tell you that you shouldn’t be carried away by any man’s status or position to rashly say “yes I do” to his proposal because success in relationship and marriage does not depend on and is not calculated and determined by position/status at all.
6. Don’t say “yes I do “because your friends recommended him without your personal conviction—
There are two basic types of marriage proposal under which all other forms of proposal fall: 1. Direct, and 2. Indirect proposal. I will explain these in full latter in the next post. This number six-point falls under the indirect marriage proposal, where a friend has accepted to talk to her friend proposing her on behalf of the man who has interest in marrying her friend in order for her to accept the man in question. In a situation like this, you must be very careful not to make a serious mistake in your life—as some ladies have made in the past—to say yes, I do rashly and irrationally to this kind of proposal. You have to open your eyes wide to see the reality about the man before you say “YES I DO”. I am not saying your friend can’t talk to you over a man who is interested in you, but you have to take caution before you say “yes I do”.
7. Don’t say “yes I do” because of your parents’ pressure, but say “yes I do because you have the reality about him yourself”—
Note: your parents are not going live with you when you marry. The only thing they can do for you is carry out their own responsibility to accede to your marriage, and nothing more! This is another form of indirect marriage proposal where parents have decided that their child must marry their friend’s child, perhaps, purposely because they are doing the same business or running the same company (maybe they are having something done in common because of the depth of their friendship/relationship), or because they have bound themselves with a kind of covenant because of their relationship that their children must marry each other so that things could work out well for them. This is commonly practiced in African countries, especially Nigeria where I come from. Young lady, in this kind of situation, young lady, please don’t dare say yes, I do unless you yourself see no regret in it. Marriage can’t succeed by this kind of proposal. This happens, and I have been an eyewitness of many cases like this.
8. Don’t say “yes I do” because you merely dream or see vision about him, but say “yes I do” because you have confirmed that the dream and vision is from God—
I have seen so many youths making this particular mistake when making a choice, saying yes, I do to marriage proposal just because they have seen a vision or have had a dream about a man ahead of time the man walk up to them for marriage proposal. This is foolishness. Dream or vision is not enough for you to know who would be your life partner. Even if you truly you have dream or see vision about the man, you must also try to work hard to discover the real fact, the truth because Satan is cunning in his activities to mislead you by any means. Therefore, young lady, open wide your eyes before you say yes, I do.
9. Don’t say “yes I do” because you have met him somewhere before, but say “yes I do” because you have found out facts about him—”
Someone say I know that guy when we were in school, and I know what he can do, so don’t waste time giving him way into your life!”. I say you are making a real mistake. Why? It’s because a person you saw yesterday may have changed before today. So, don’t say yes, I do because you have known, met or seen somebody somewhere in the previous time. And that the person is good the time you first know or met him does not say you should say yes, I do. If you do this, it will be a serious mistake for you!
10. Don’t say “yes I do” because you feel to do, but say yes, I do because you have personal conviction—
You don’t feel to get married (it’s not a matter of feeling but a matter of real personal conviction) but you must be convinced, you must see and discover who he is before you say yes, I do.
11. Don’t say “yes I do’’ because of your situation, but say “yes I do” because it’s right time for you—
You don’t yes, I do because of your situation, but you say yes, I do because you know you are ripe, and that it’s right time for you to have someone in your life to get married to.
12. Don’t say “yes I do” because of his family background, but say “yes I do” because it’s the will of God—
Don’t yes, I do because of your family background or his family background, but say yes, I do because it’s in the sight of the living God, and that you want to fulfill destiny in life.
Conclusion
Choice-making, discovering a real-life partner is not a child’s play at all. Therefore, you must understand that any mistake you ever make here will definitely have a serious effect on your life and marriage. Therefore, before you say yes I do to a marriage proposal, open your eyes wide so that you will not fall into a wrong relationship or rather I say into the hand of wrong man. Should you ever say yes I do to a proposal at all, please apply the wisdom you have received here before you do!
Justus Mutua Muti
FRIDAY 26TH JULY 2024