04/03/2021
Only Legends Can Understand
😂Let's call it good Thursday evening. 😂 🍏
Our homestead wasn't blessed with any tree that bore seasonal fruits to surprise the crew pale primoo akina Wakanae, Gíthínji gitundu, wakileta guavas, pears(ngario), ovacadoes au mahindi choma. I was always a beggar😂😂so one day nikaamua k**a mbaya ni mbaya I must loot my one and only neighbour Mwai ( kîhyena as we had nicknamed him)😂😂.
His farm had all sorts of fruits and he was always in the shamba tilling, so this particular day I had checked his movements and he had left, mimi huyo nikapenya kwake and climbed the Ngario(Pear) tree ready to loot with a green Marlboro paperpag and green pullover to camouflage 😊myself like a chameleon to escape the sight and wrath of the no nonsense man ata k**a mimi nilikuanga legend 😂😂😂.
I was in the middle of the heist and heard Kîhyena clearing the throat. 😳😳😳😳Peeping through the branches I couldn't believe my eyes he was armed with a panga and his fimbo heading to where I was. Getting off the tree and meet him was suicidal but as I peeped once again, he wasn't looking up the tree and I was certain maybe he didn't see me. I was in silent mode nafungia kila kitu, mnyambo, sneezing, kukohoa etc,😎... the old man started harvesting the nappier glass nearby and I was sure I was still in heaven no going hell soon😂😂😂.
He left the panga planted on where he was and came to the base of the tree I was and took a nap. Nikafikiria he was waiting for me to descend but ile kusnore alianza I was sure he must have been stung by tsetse fly and now sleeping sickness was taking toll on him. This was a golden opportunity for me to descend meticulously and vanish in the thin air 😂😂. I started getting down slowly by slowly with my heisted ngarios well tied and fastened on my waist.
When I was almost at the base, shetani sent one grandson. I stepped on a branch and slide. I tried gripping a branch nearby to no avail, I was falling at a speed of 130kph perpendiculary aiming the snoring kîhyena. I was too scared and never had the chance to scream, I fell on him with a thud and since he was asleep he screamed loudly😂😂.
I've never heard such loud voice from a man, it was almost like a trumpeting elephant 😂😂😂. Luckily I wasn't hurt and I took off with a speed of 200kph with my loot , Kîhyena also took off in the opposite direction with a maximum speed of 165kph😂😂😂😂unaware of what had happened. Next day I was loaded in school and suprised my peers with ngarios😂😂😂.
The man .........
Don't miss part two...
