G.D.A Mwale

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You told your wife that you were going to work but you went to her best friend's house whose husband is  a soldier. Her ...
17/02/2025

You told your wife that you were going to work but you went to her best friend's house whose husband is a soldier. Her husband comes back, and you hurriedly hid under the bed.

The soldier sends his wife off to the market while you are still hiding under the bed. you overhear him, inviting a lady over the phone.

The lady comes, and shortly after, his wife comes knocking, citing that her clothes are stained and she wants to change them.
Before the soldier husband opened the door. He tells the lady to hide under the bed.

Now, the lady who comes face to face with you under the bed turns out to be your wife, and both of you are looking at each other under the bed like rabbits without saying a word.

1. In School, We call it, REUNION.
2. In Social Gatherings, We call it, GET TOGETHER.
3. In Mathematics, We call it, A SIMULTANEOUS EQUATION
4. In Psychology, We call it, WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.
5. In Chemistry, We call it, CHAIN REACTION.
6. In Economics, We call it, DEMAND AND SUPPLY.
7. In Physics, We call it, NUCLEAR FUSION!
8. In Agriculture, We call it, CROP ROTATION.
9. In English, We call it, A COINCIDENCE.
10. In Government, We call it, CHECK AND BALANCE.
11. In Food and Nutrition, We call it, A BALANCED DIET.

15/01/2025

MalawiansπŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό are the friendliest people in Africa🌍.

Here is why and you should visit MalawiπŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό

1. Cultural values: In Malawian culture, hospitality is highly valued. Visitors are considered a blessing, and hosts take great pride in making them feel welcome.

2. Community-oriented: Malawians tend to be community-focused, often prioritizing the needs of others over their own. This communal spirit fosters a sense of warmth and inclusivity.

3. Respect for elders: Malawian culture places great emphasis on respecting elders and tradition. This respect is often extended to visitors, who are treated with dignity and kindness.

4. Smiling nature: Malawians are known for their bright smiles and infectious laughter. This warm and cheerful demeanor helps create a welcoming atmosphere.

5. Gratitude and humility: Despite facing various challenges, Malawians tend to be grateful for what they have and humble in their interactions. This humility and appreciation for life contribute to their friendly nature.

Note : These factors combined create a culture of warmth, hospitality, and kindness that makes Malawians stand out as the
Most friendliest people in Africa!

01/01/2025
27/11/2024

DECEMBER FC VS JANUARY FC

Lineup December FC
Rice Nyoni
Braii Khoza
Dudu Thawe
Chicken Phiri
Beef Sosola
Salad Moyo
Baked beans Shoko
Amarula Jacobs
Soft Drink Chirwa
Potatoes Zigoma
Ice Cream Ndlovu

Line up January FC
Cabbage Dzozi
Mango Salima
Bonya Banda
Rent Gomani
School fees Sumani
Bonongwe Duwe
Vegetables mthombeni
Soya pieces Mbewe
Insufficient funds muleya
Ngumbi Maseko
Matemba Zulu

Match to be played next month amd january 2025.

Referee: yourpockets

My husband set me up.There is this man who began chatting with me around April. The man is handsome and with money. He b...
26/09/2024

My husband set me up.

There is this man who began chatting with me around April. The man is handsome and with money. He began showering me with nice messages and slowly graduated to gifts.

We hadn't met but finally we met and I liked him more. Slowly we began planning on some romantic out and finally we booked a hotel out of town. I took myself there, weekend daytime. I had lied to my husband am going to visit a cousin of mine who lives there.

We got to the hotel and went to the room. We showered and we got to bed. However just as we began having romance, the door got banged so hard. The man seemed scared but went to open the door.

My husband came inside and found me naked. He told me: now I have proven that you aren't faithful to me. He told me it was all a set up to try me since he has always suspected me that I would cheat given the chance.

The man admitted it was true he was hired to try me. He dressed up and both my husband and him left. I felt so much ashamed I didn't go home but went to my mothers place and haven't told her why am there. The children are with my husband.

How do I solve this one? Am so confused I blame myself though.

A lady's dilemma, looking for answers; what will be your advise to her?

06/07/2024

HOW TO SURVIVE IN JOZIπŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦

1. If you get offered a quick Job, no matter how broke you're, walk away.Say No & don't look back; even if it's for charity, Baleka!

2. No earphones while walking in the CBD.

3. When you see a lot of People running & Shouting "Vimba" Just know sh*t's about to go down, Some ass whooping.

4. When someone offers to sell a brand new smartphone at a cheapest price in the CBD, Baleka!

5. Don't act stupid when you see celebrities at Braam / New Town they're always there.

6. Do not wear Mini Skirts in Jo'burg CBD

7. Never go to China Mall alone, that side is a bit quiet & dangerous; You will be jacked.

8. In a TAXI Close your nearest window especially if you're using a taxi from Rivonia or Morningside, as soon as you enter Hillbrow put your phone away. Only take out your phone on the freeway because these local born Nyaope Boys Have skills on opening the Window from outside to access your phone, and It happens so freaking fast.

9. If you see someone with a big bag asking for taxi money
to go home trust me, those streets are his home, they always have that bag & that Story, so Just keep moving.

10. Those Nigerian guys by those Small Shops at Bree Taxi Rank will always stop you & say " Don't you wanna sell your PHONE for Good Money" Just say NO & flee fast.

11. Also when you see a guy "accidentally" dropping a stack of cash" don't pick up the money, just mind your own business & keep walking faster.

12. It Helps to walk where everyone walks, there are no short cuts in JOZI.

13. Never ask for direction especially at MTN taxi rank, it costs R100.

14. If you see a cow falling from the sky, don't look surprised just keep on walking.

15. Never say sorry
16. Never let anyone help you carry your bag, no matter how heavy it is.. Never.

17. Finally, The First Corner Rule. Very Important!! If you find yourself walking alone & you see people following & your Instinct tells you sh*t's about to go down you're damn
right, sh*t's about to go down

A wife suspected her husband of having s.ex with the helper, then she set a trap for the husband by sending the auntie t...
01/05/2024

A wife suspected her husband of having s.ex with the helper, then she set a trap for the husband by sending the auntie to the village for weekend without telling the husband.

At night, the husband told his usual story "Darling i want to go and watch soccer in the sitting room" and he left.

The wife silently went to the house maid's room lying down on the bed naked without any light, and the door was open and someone join her on the bed without wasting time and without a word, he had se.x with her.

After the fifth round she said, it's enough, i have caught you, so this is how you use to have s.ex with her, and you will do two round with me and tell me you are tired; fifth round now you are still demanding for more hubby?

The security shouted and replied "AM SORRY MADAM I DON'T KNOW YOU ARE THE ONE!

Madam shouted "OH MY GOD!", then the husband rushed in and caught them.

Moral Lesson: Trust is one of the keys to a happy home. Suspicion could bring disaster in marriage in every ramifications.

30/04/2024

1. Welcome to Malawi where someone will wear a T-shirt written RΔͺP to visit someone in the hospitalπŸ˜‚πŸ˜’πŸ™†β€β™‚οΈ

2. Welcome to Malawi where a guy will remove his earpiece so as to stare a lady's buttΓΈcksπŸ˜­πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€πŸ™†πŸΌβ€β™€

3. Welcome to Malawi where a mother will ask her son to unplug his phone of 3% and plug her own phone of 87%πŸ˜‚πŸƒπŸΌ

4. Welcome to Malawi where a guy will buy his gf spark 4, meanwhile he is using NOKIA TORCH tighed with rubber bandπŸ™†πŸΌβ€β™€πŸ˜­πŸ™†β€β™‚οΈ

5. Welcome to Malawi where you will see a mād man controlling traffic, and normal people are obeyingπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜„πŸ€­

6. Welcome to Malawi where a graduate who studied medicine will end up being a plumberπŸ€­πŸ™†πŸΌβ€β™€

7. Welcome to Malawi where a guy will bring out his cloths to wash, and end up keeping jeans out without washing them thinking that they are cleanπŸ˜‚πŸ’β€β™‚οΈπŸ™†β€β™‚οΈ

8. Welcome to Malawi where people will go to a bΕ«rial, cry, and still carry their food like say tomorrow no DeyπŸ˜…πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€πŸ™†β€β™‚οΈ

9. Welcome to Malawi where people reduces the volume of the TV, to smell if something is burning πŸ€­πŸ™„πŸ™†β€β™‚οΈ

10. Welcome to Malawi where ugly people are accΕ«sed of messing when it is someone elseπŸ˜­πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€πŸ™†πŸΌβ€β™€

11. Welcome to Malawi where girls uses Emoji to shave their ampitπŸ€£πŸ™„πŸ™†πŸΌβ€β™€πŸƒπŸΌ

12. Welcome to Malawi where people will read your post, smile and skipπŸ˜‚πŸ˜ƒ

Don't go without reacting πŸ™„πŸ˜

26/03/2024

Kodi apolisi ma passport mukozetsawa mukupita kutikosoπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

26/01/2024

My wife took my phone and deleted
my girlfriend Judith's number and saved her ownnumber as Judith.
You see, someone has told my wife about Judith my girl friend.
I then got an SMS from Judith asking
for mobile money MK50,000.
I rushed to my wife and lied to her that I
need 50,000, for an emergency. I told her that my mother was unwell and she
needed the money urgently.
My wife gave me the money and I rushed to send it to my girlfriend Judith.
She did not acknowledge receipt of
the money.
When I was relaxing at home after work, I
kept wondering if Judith had received the money.
I sent her an SMS to find out if she
had received the money. Her response was, "Call
me now".
I got out of the house to make the
call.
You can imagine my horror when my wife answered the call instead of Judith!!!! _
*It's been 3 hours. I'm still standing outside.
I don't know how to come back into my
own house!
_*Any advice?*_ πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚

Address

Dwangwa

Telephone

0717413864

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