21/01/2022
Thank you Naz Connect for this opportunity to get some burdens off my shoulders. Feels really good sharing this and remaining anonymous.
I was born into a working class family and I am the only child. My parents provided everything i ever wanted and needed except for one thing, love, time and genuine affection, they were always busy with work so I didn't get to spend much time with them. This made me a shy, introverted or weird kind of person who was looking for love and validation elsewhere. To crown it all up, I was sent off to an all girl's boarding school at the age of 11. I was made fun of by my classmates and often bullied by the senior students, until one day somethings began to happen. This particular senior suddenly started showing concerns towards me and often took care of me, I was so happy I found someone who really loved and cared about me so I quickly accepted when she offered to be my school mother. After some time, she began to invite me to her hostel to sleep with her on the same bed because she was lonely, I innocently agreed to it, at first nothing happened but soon, she began touching me in private places, at first I refused this but it felt good and I soon caved in. The first time it happened, I felt really bad and began to avoid her, but I couldn't Hide forever, she found me out and began to tell me that she loved me and would do anything for me, she promised not to leave me and always take care of me and slowly, I began to believe her. We continued our relationship, this time as lovers and for the first time, I really felt loved and I enjoyed every moment we shared. This continued till she graduated, we were in contact till she travelled abroad, she made me into confident and unapologetic young girl and since then, my lovers have been women. Years have gone by and my parents are worried, they are looking forward to seeing me getting married to a man and having my own children but I don't think it's going to happen. I'm currently in a relationship with a beautiful lady and I don't want to leave her, besides no matter how much I try to be straight, it's not working. What do I do?
