Laurethills Inc

Laurethills Inc Fiction writer crafting immersive stories with unforgettable characters, modern myth, and unpredictable turns.

I write worlds that feel real, questions that stay with you, and endings that invite you to think twice.

Electricity: The National Hide and Seek ChampionshipBack in Mama Ngozi’s compound, PHCN — sorry, DISCO — had taken light...
23/02/2026

Electricity: The National Hide and Seek Championship
Back in Mama Ngozi’s compound, PHCN — sorry, DISCO — had taken light again.
The neighbors gathered outside.
“Up NEPA!” someone shouted sarcastically.
A child asked, “Daddy, what is stable electricity?”
The father smiled weakly. “It’s a bedtime story.”
The government had recently unbundled, rebundled, and restructured the power sector so many times that even electricity was confused.
At a press briefing, an official declared:
“We have increased generation capacity.”
Nigerians nodded.
Generation capacity, yes.
Distribution reality? That one is between you and your generator.
In Ibadan, a man named Tunde proudly introduced his generator to guests.
“This is Aduke,” he said. “She is my first wife.”

The Great Forex OlympicsAt a small bureau de change in Wuse Zone 4, a man named Chukwudi was refreshing his phone every ...
19/02/2026

The Great Forex Olympics
At a small bureau de change in Wuse Zone 4, a man named Chukwudi was refreshing his phone every three minutes.
“What’s the dollar today?” he asked.
The operator squinted. “Which one? Morning dollar, afternoon dollar, or panic dollar?”
Since the naira began its spiritual journey, guided by the Central Bank’s new policies under Olayemi Cardoso, the exchange rate had developed mood swings.
It could wake up at ₦800 and go to sleep at ₦1,400.
In Port Harcourt, a wedding caterer now printed menus without prices.
“Price depends on the exchange rate when you are chewing,” she explained.

In the Federal Republic of Dramastan, sorry, Nigeria, the year had barely stretched its legs when the price of rice deci...
18/02/2026

In the Federal Republic of Dramastan, sorry, Nigeria, the year had barely stretched its legs when the price of rice decided to pursue a PhD in Astronomy.

It kept rising.

In a modest compound in Lugbe, Abuja, Mama Ngozi stood in her kitchen, staring at a derica cup of rice as if it had personally offended her ancestors.

“Rice,” she said slowly, “when did you join the billionaire class?”

Her son, Emeka, who had just returned from the market, sighed heavily and dropped the nylon bag on the table.

“Mama, the seller said the rice is now ‘imported inflation.’ I asked what that means. He said, ‘It means if you want it, buy it.’”

Mama Ngozi crossed herself.

“God, give us this day our daily bread. Leave rice for Dangote.”

THE MORNING AFTER1 And thus the book is closed, and the scroll is rolled up. But look, the sun riseth over the horizon, ...
12/02/2026

THE MORNING AFTER
1 And thus the book is closed, and the scroll is rolled up. But look, the sun riseth over the horizon, turning the smog of the city into a strange shade of gold.

2 The politician awaketh in his soft bed, and the first thing he doth is check the rate of the Naira. If it hath fallen, he frowneth; if it hath risen, he claimeth the glory.

3 The common man awaketh on a hard mattress, and the first thing he doeth is check his fuel gauge. If it is empty, he sigheth; if it is full, he giveth thanks to the gods of fortune.

4 Nothing changed last night, save the date. The drama continues.

5 We have laughed at the ministers, we have mocked the senators, and we have chronicled the flight of the youth. But beneath the laughter, there is a beat. It is the rhythm of the hustle.

6 It is the sound of the okada rider weaving through traffic. It is the sound of the woman roasting plantain by the roadside. It is sound of the generator humming the National Anthem of Survival.

7 Let them argue in the halls of power. Let them count the shekels in the towers of gold. The Nigerian is a survivor.

8 We eat the pepper and call it spice. We endure the heat and call it seasoning. We trek the long road and call it exercise.

9 You may read this book in a plane flying far away, or you may read it in a taxi stuck in a bridge that has been under construction for twenty years.

10 Wherever thou art, remember this:

11 The politicians are merely the actors. The people are the stage. And as long as the stage stands, the show must go on.

12 Go now, and face thy day. For tomorrow is another election, another scandal, another dollar rate. But thou? Thou art still standing.

13 And that, my friends, is the greatest miracle of all.

Chapter 7 THE JAPA GENERATION1 And it came to pass that the politics of the land became a great circus, a house of clown...
11/02/2026

Chapter 7
THE JAPA GENERATION

1 And it came to pass that the politics of the land became a great circus, a house of clowns, and a festival of fools. And the young men and women looked upon the leadership and saw that there was no hope, only the beating of drums that led to a pit.
2 Then a spirit of restlessness fell upon the land. It was a mighty wind that blew from the West, saying, "Arise and go, for the pasture here is bare."
3 And the people called this movement "The Japa," which in the tongue of the elders meaneth, "Let us flee for our lives before the vulture of hunger consumeth us."
4 Behold, the healers of the land, those who bind the wounds and cure the sick, began to pack their bags. The Doctors looked at the hospitals, which had no medicines, and said, "I shall go to the Isles of the West, where the instruments of iron work and the pay is sure."
5 The Nurses, who toiled day and night for a pittance, followed them. And the Engineers, who build the roads and bridges, laid down their trowels, saying, "I will not build a house that shall fall upon my head; I shall go build towers in foreign lands."
6 Even the makers of mirth, the tellers of jokes and the jesters, stood up. For they said, "Behold, in this land, the jokes write themselves; the rulers provide humor without labor. But in the foreign lands, we can be paid for our laughter. We must go."
7 And the Rulers of the land were perplexed. They scratched their heads beneath their caps and asked one another, saying, "Why doth the youth depart? Have we not given them the land?"
8 And they spake unto the people, saying, "Fear not! For we have passed a great decree, called the Act of the Student Loan."
9 "Go now," said the Rulers, "and borrow silver to pay for your learning. Is this not a blessing?"
10 But the people laughed a bitter laugh. And they answered, saying, "O ye foolish rulers! We shall borrow silver to study, but the Council of the Teachers, known as ASUU, shall shut the gates of the schools for a year and a day."
11 "The loan shall grow fat with interest while we sit at home, and when we return, we shall be servants to the debt collectors. Better to be a servant in a strange land where the light shines constant, than to be a debtor in darkness."
12 Thus the Land became a great vineyard that exports its finest grapes but keeps the sour wine. It became a factory that sends forth its best steel but retains the rust.
13 To the Isles of the Mist (the UK) and to the Dominion of the Maple Leaf (Canada), the youth fled in multitudes like the sparrows in winter.
14 And it was said in the proverbs of the foreigners, "If thou seekest a doctor, ask for a Nigerian; if thou seekest a nurse, ask for a Nigerian; if thou seekest a driver, ask for a Nigerian."
15 Soon, the banner of the Green-White-Green shall be no more a flag of a territory, but a map of the scattered tribes. For wherever thou goest in the earth, there shall be a Nigerian remnant, cooking pepper soup in the snow and sending money home.
16 And who shall remain in the land when the departure is finished?
17 Verily, only the Princes of the Palace shall remain, and their kinfolk. But mark this well: even the sons of the Rulers are hiding visas in their sandals.
18 For while the Prince preacheth "Stay and build," his children are in the embassy, whispering, "Father, pack thy bags, for the ship leaveth at dawn."
19 Thus the land was emptied of its strength, and the echo of the youth was heard no more, only the cackling of the old men in the hall of mirrors.
20 And the people said, "The land is gone; let us who are left, learn to swim, for the waters are rising."

Chapter 6 THE CENTRAL BANK AND THE MAGICIAN1 And it came to pass that the eyes of the people turned toward the Tower of ...
10/02/2026

Chapter 6
THE CENTRAL BANK AND THE MAGICIAN

1 And it came to pass that the eyes of the people turned toward the Tower of Gold, the place where the keepers of the coin resided. For the money of the land, the Shekel, was sick, and there was no physician who could heal it.

2 The governor of the Tower was a man named Joram. He was a man of pleasant countenance, and he wore the robes of wisdom. He looked upon the ledger books with a furrowed brow, desiring only to balance the account and bring order to the chaos.

3 And Joram said unto the land, "Let us perform a marvel. Let us unite the waters of the money. Let the rate in the temple be the same as the rate in the streets. Let there be a Unification."

4 But the Shekel was a wild beast, untamed and restless. And when the gates were flung open, the Foreign Dinar stood up and spake, saying, "Oh, thou sayest there is a free market? Then behold, for I shall show you my strength."

5 And the Dinar stretched forth its hand and smote the Shekel. And the Shekel fell from the height of four hundred pieces, down to the valley of eight hundred.

6 The people looked on in horror, but the fall was not finished. The Shekel stumbled and fell again, looking down into the abyss of one thousand and five hundred.

7 And as it fell, it waved a weak hand at the number two thousand, crying out, "Brother, wait for me, for I am undone."

8 Then there was great rejoicing in the camp of the Changers of Silver. These were the men of the Bureau, who sit under the umbrellas and wield the calculator like a sword of war.

9 They were the new gods of the street. For when the Shekel fell, they rose. They smiled as their purses swelled with the spoil of the exchange. They bought houses and fat cattle, while the people wept over their empty baskets.

10 And the Minister of the Treasury, a man named Mathan, stood up to explain the mysteries of the kingdom. Mathan was a man of high learning, versed in the letters of the IMF and the World Bank.

11 He went into the marketplaces and began to prophesy, saying, "Hearken unto me, O people. It is the Macroeconomic Indices! It is the adjustment of the balances! Though the Shekel falleth, the structure shall stand!"

12 And he sought a woman of the market, a seller of red fruits and peppers. He expounded unto her the theories of the supply curve and the aggregate demand.

13 But the woman heeded him not. She wiped her hands on her apron and looked upon him with disdain.

14 And she said unto him, "Mathan, thou man of many words. Keep thy indices and thy calculations."

15 "For I tell thee this: If thou hast not the change for the note of two thousand pieces, thy wisdom is but foolishness to me. Go hence, and trouble not my tomatoes with thy economics."

16 And Mathan was silenced. For he realized that while the indices rose in the clouds, the hunger in the belly remained upon the earth.

17 Thus the Shekel became a wanderer, having no home, and the people counted their losses in the silence of the night.

18 Verily, the magician Joram pulled a rabbit out of the hat, but alas, the rabbit ate the hat and ran away.

Chapter 5 THE NATIONAL ASSEMBLY OF DISTINGUISHED SUV DRIVERS1 And it came to pass that there arose two great houses in t...
08/02/2026

Chapter 5
THE NATIONAL ASSEMBLY OF DISTINGUISHED SUV DRIVERS

1 And it came to pass that there arose two great houses in the center of the city, known unto the people as the Chambers of the Law.

2 The first was the Hall of Emeralds, where the voices were many and the wisdom was little. The second was the Hall of Crimson, where the elders sat and decreed things that were heavy upon the necks of the people.

3 And the people looked unto these halls, saying, "Surely, these are the watchmen of our souls." But the watchmen were busy watching the mirrors of their chariots.

4 In the Hall of Crimson sat the President of the Senate, a man named Gadiel. He was a man of great speech, gifted in the tongue of the ancients, and prone to uttering proverbs that confounded the wise.

5 And it came to pass on a day of reckoning, while the scribes recorded the doings of the house, that Gadiel spake unto the multitude.

6 He opened his mouth and said, "Let us send a prayer unto the inboxes of the elders. Let the clerk dispatch a token of love, that their hearts may be merry."

7 And there was a silence in the land. But lo, the horn of the priest was left open, and the wind of the microphone carried his whisper unto the ends of the earth.

8 And Gadiel whispered, forgetting the ear of the people heard him, saying, "In order that they may enjoy their holiday in the foreign lands."

9 Then the people lifted up their voices and laughed, saying, "Verily, this Gadiel is a magician, for he turneth 'allowances' into 'prayers' and 'joy-riding' into 'legislative oversight.'"

10 And the men of the Senate looked upon the treasury and saw that it was good for plucking. They said, "We are weary of walking in the dust. Let us acquire beasts of burden that are fitting for our status."

11 So they brought forth the Rolls of the Budget. And they allocated unto themselves one hundred and sixty thousand times ten thousand pieces of silver, that each man might purchase a Chariot of Prado.

12 These chariots were of iron and steel, crafted to tread upon the rugged paths of the wilderness. The Senators said, "We need these chariots to perform oversight. How can we see the suffering of the people if our backs are pained by the roads?"

13 But the people replied, saying, "Ye hypocrites! Ye ride in chariots worth the price of a village, while we have no feet to walk. We ask for buses to carry us to our labors, and ye give us speeches. We ask for bread, and ye give us the exhaust of your Jeeps."

14 And in the Hall of Emeralds and the Hall of Crimson, there were many performers.

15 There was Nadab, a senator of great renown from the land of the Delta. He was a man of many wives, for his house was like a palace of concubines.

16 And Nadab stood upon the floor and proclaimed, "The land is overpopulated! We must control the number of souls that dwell therein!" Yet, even as he spake, he sought to take another wife, adding to the number of his household. The people mocked him, saying, "Physician, heal thyself; or at least, count thine own house before thou countest the nation."

17 And there was also Adriel, the Governor who became a Senator, a man of light feet and heavy rhythms. He was known as the Dancing Senator.

18 When the debates were heavy and the accusations flew like arrows, Adriel did not fret. He rose and shook his limbs, performing the Dance of Dabi-Dabi. He moved his waist like the reeds in the wind, and the people forgot their hunger for a moment, watching the spectacle.

19 Thus the Senate became not a house of laws, but a theater of the absurd. It was a reality show where the contestants voted upon their own wages, and the audience paid the entrance fee with their sweat.

20 And the elders feasted upon the fat of the land, saying, "Peace, peace," while there was no peace for the common man.

21 Verily, the chariots rolled on, fueled by the tears of the people, and the Senators reclined in their leather seats, saying, "Is it not written, that the ox must not be muzzled while it treadeth out the corn? And are we not the greatest oxen?"

22 Thus endeth the chronicle of the Distinguished Drivers. And the people waited for the day when the wheels of the chariots would fall off.

Chapter 4 THE OPPOSITION THAT OPPOSES ITSELF1 And it came to pass that while the Ruling House of the APC sought to perfo...
07/02/2026

Chapter 4
THE OPPOSITION THAT OPPOSES ITSELF

1 And it came to pass that while the Ruling House of the APC sought to perform miracles, turning stones into bread and promising milk and honey in a land of scarcity, the opposition sat in the dust and ashes.

2 Behold, the opposition was not a shield against the sword, but a sword unto itself. And the people looked upon them and said, "Woe unto them, for they fight amongst themselves while the city burns."

3 First among them was the Great Congregation, known in the tongues of the land as the PDP. Verily, they were once the masters of the land, but now they were a house divided.

4 Their leader was Abiram, the Elder of the North, a man of great substance and many wives. Abiram loved the throne with a love that was stronger than death. Year after year, he rose up and said, "I shall be King." And year after year, the people said, "Nay."

5 But Abiram believed not in the ballot, but in the gavel. For he dwelt constantly in the house of the Judges. He loved the court as the fish loveth the water. He petitioned, and he appealed, and he appealed again.

6 And it was said in the streets, "If Abiram knocketh on the door of the Supreme Court enough times, the judges shall eventually open it, not because he is right, but because they are weary of his face."

7 Yet, a great pestilence was within the camp of Abiram. For the Congregation was rent asunder by the Spirit of Discord.

8 There was the Natan, the builder of the South, the minister of the powerful city of Abuja. Natan gathered unto himself five governors, and they were called the Fifty-Five, for they brought confusion upon the house.

9 Natan stood in the market square and prophesied against Abiram, saying, "Thou art too old, and thou art too greedy. We shall not support thee unless thou givest us the Southern Kingdom."

10 And Abiram gnashed his teeth, but he was weak, for the Spirit of the Party had departed. The Council of the Elders, led by a man named Ayiwaju, fought with Natan, and there was war in the camp.

11 And there was Saul, the Governor of Oyo, who sat upon his hill and watched the chaos. Saul cared not for the battles of Abiram or Natan. He counted his shekels and said, "Let them fight; I shall gather the tithes of my people and build my own empire." He was the wise one who kept his lips sealed while his brethren perished.

12 Thus the Great Congregation became a laughingstock. They had the numbers, but they had no head. They were a body without a soul, a sheep without a shepherd, wandering in the wilderness of litigation.

13 And lo, there arose a new noise in the land, the sound of many voices crying out from the Net of the Internet. This was the tribe of the Labour.

14 Their champion was Obed, a man of small stature but of great speed with his tongue. He spoke of a new Jerusalem, a land where the youth would eat and not be hungry. And the youth believed him, and they called themselves the Obed-ients.

15 They were a multitude like the sand of the sea, fierce upon the tablets of their phones. They typed with the fury of the prophets, and they trended with the speed of lightning. If a man mocked Obed, the Obed-ients descended upon him like a plague of locusts, leaving no "like" or "share" behind.

16 But alas, the Party of Labour was built upon sand, not rock. For while the disciples were loud upon the Net, the High Priest, Abner, was besieged by demons.

17 Abner, the keeper of the scrolls, fought not the enemy, but his own brothers. For there were many who claimed to be the true Chairman. And Abner spent his days in the courts, answering summons, and defending his seat with the vigor of a man fighting for his last breath.

18 So the Party of Labour was less a government, and more a loud assembly in the valley. It was a WhatsApp group with a logo. They had the spirit, but they had no structure. They were a cloud without rain.

19 Yet, in the tribe of Abia, there was a governor named Azariah. He was of the Labour, but he was wise. He took the trowel in his hand and fixed the roads. He paved the streets where the chariots of the people traveled.

20 And the people marveled, saying, "Behold, Azariah doeth the work of a King while his party fighteth over the title of Scribe." He was the one tree bearing fruit in a forest of dry timber.

21 And in the North, in the ancient city of Kano, there was a great feud between two titans.

22 Caleb the Red-Capped, he of the NNPP, stood in the gap. He was a man of the people, a wrestler of old. He sought to reclaim the throne of the North.

23 But standing against him was Gamaliel, the one who saw the dollars fall from the sky in visions. Gamaliel was now the head of the Ruling House, and he sharpened his sword against Caleb.

24 They were like two elephants fighting in the garden. The earth shook when they clashed. And when the elephants fight, the grass suffereth.

25 The people of Kano were the grass. They were trampled, and uprooted, and used for decoration while Caleb and Gamaliel tossed the governorship seat back and forth like a ball of leather.

26 One day the Judge would say, "Caleb is King," and the people would shout. The next day, another Judge would say, "Nay, Gamaliel holds the scepter," and the people would wail.

27 And the seat flipped like a pancake in the hands of a hungry cook. There was no rest in Kano, only the sound of the gavel and the gnashing of teeth.

28 So the opposition looked like a man trying to climb a greasy pole while his own brothers pulled at his ankles.

29 Verily, the Ruling House sat back and ate their roasted corn, watching the spectacle. For they knew that while the opposition fought itself, the throne was safe.

30 Thus endeth the chapter of the confused, the loud, and the litigious. And the people waited for a saviour, but they found only lawyers.

Chapter 3 THE RIVERS OF BLOOD (AND MUD)1 And it came to pass in the land of the Rivers, where the waters flow and the bl...
07/02/2026

Chapter 3
THE RIVERS OF BLOOD (AND MUD)

1 And it came to pass in the land of the Rivers, where the waters flow and the black gold gusheth from the earth, that there was a great multitude. And the people were strong, but the leaders were stronger in their own eyes.

2 And there reigned over the land a mighty man of valor, whose name was Natan. He was a man of great stature, a builder of walls, and a destroyer of opposition. For eight years did he sit upon the throne of Port Harcourt, and his word was law; he spake, and the mountains trembled.

3 Now, when the time came for Natan to ascend unto the higher mountain of Abuja, he sought a successor. And he looked not among the lions of the tribe, but he chose Shalom, a man of accounts, quiet of spirit and mild of tongue. Natan said unto the elders, "Behold, this is my anointed; he shall be a puppet, and I shall pull the strings from the pavilion of the North."

4 And Shalom took the scepter, and peace reigned for a season. Natan sat in the far North, serving the great King Asa, and Shalom sat in the South, governing the people. They wore garments of the same color, and they broke bread together.

5 But the spirit of rebellion entered into the heart of Shalom. And he looked upon the treasury, and he looked upon the counsel of Natan, and said within himself, "Am I not the Governor? Did the people elect me, or did Natan create me?"

6 And Shalom began to stray from the path of Natan. He ceased to consult the oracle of his master. And when Natan sent messengers saying, "Do this," Shalom closed his ears. Then was the wrath of Natan kindled, and he burned like a fire in the thicket.

7 For Natan said, "Have I not made thee? Did I not raise thee from the dust of the civil service? Thou art the clay, and I am the potter. How dare the pot say to the potter, 'What makest thou?'"

8 Then arose a great tumult in the land. The enemies of Natan within the House of the Law sought to dethrone Shalom. And lo, there was a great burning in the night. The sanctuary of the Assembly, the hallowed hall of laws, was consumed by flames.

9 And the people cried out, saying, "Who hath done this deed?" And some said it was the work of evil spirits; others said it was a mere accident of the generator. But in their hearts, they knew the power of the fire was political.

10 Then was the house divided against itself. Mattathias, the leader of the lawgivers, gathered twenty and seven elders, and they stood against Shalom. But Shalom had his own faithful remnant, led by Eden, a man of few words but fierce loyalty.

11 And the twenty and seven elders rose up in a fury, saying, "Shalom hath broken the covenant! He hath abandoned the path of our fathers!" And they tore their garments, and they fled to the tents of the opposition, seeking the protection of the King in the North.

12 But Shalom stood firm. And he performed a marvel that confounded the scribes. He gathered the budget of the land, the silver and the gold, and brought it before only four elders.

13 And the four men sat in a small chamber, and they said, "It is good." And Shalom declared, "The will of the people is done," though the people numbered only four. And the multitude laughed, saying, "Surely, this is a strange math; four is greater than twenty and seven in the eyes of the Governor."

14 And Natan, seeing these things from afar, gnashed his teeth. He sent forth proclamations; he invoked the spirits of the courts. He said, "I shall make the seat of Shalom a throne of thorns."

15 And the noise of their strife reached the ears of the great King Asa, who sat in the Villa of A*o. And Asa was troubled, for the land shook with the quarreling of the brothers.

16 Then King Asa sent forth his summons, saying, "Come up unto the mountain of the Rock, let us reason together." And they came, Natan the Strong and Shalom the Silent.

17 And they stood before the King, and the air was thick with silence. And Asa spake, saying, "Peace, be still. Natan, go back to thy ministry of the North; Shalom, remain in thy house of the South. Let the strife cease, and let the oil flow."

18 And they shook hands before the multitude, and the photographers captured the image. But the scribes of the land wrote in their scrolls, "This peace is but a breathing space; the sword is only hidden in the sheath."

19 For it is written in the proverbs of the River Lands: The Godfather giveth, and the Godfather taketh away; blessed be the name of the ambition.

20 Thus endeth the chronicle of the fire and the mud. And the people looked unto the heavens, waiting for the next season.

Chapter 2 THE 48 MINISTERS AND A POT OF SOUP1 And it came to pass in the reign of King Asa, when he had ascended the thr...
05/02/2026

Chapter 2
THE 48 MINISTERS AND A POT OF SOUP

1 And it came to pass in the reign of King Asa, when he had ascended the throne of the Eagle, that he looked upon the multitude of the people and said, "The work is heavy. The burden is great. I cannot bear it alone."

2 Therefore, Asa called a great council, such as had not been seen since the days of old. And he appointed unto himself forty and eight princes and governors to sit in the high places.

3 Now, in the lands of the West, across the great waters, the nation of the Eagle possesseth an economy vast as the heavens, yet they number but five and twenty counselors. But in the land of the Green, King Asa said, "We are not playing; we shall have twice the number, for our appetites are large."

4 And the day of their swearing-in was like unto a feast of vanity. The princes came forth clad in robes of Agbada, so stiff with starch that they could stand of their own accord, even when the man within them had fainted from the heat.

5 There were turbans and caps of such multitude that one could have clothed the army of the Assyrians. And they posed for the graven images, turning their cheeks to the left and to the right, that their glory might be recorded.

6 And lo, among these forty and eight, there were four who stood out, performers in the theater of the King.

7 First among them was Nashon, the Minister of the New City (Abuja). There was a whisper in the land that Nashon was not merely a minister, but the Shadow King.

8 For Nashon controlled the roads and the stones of the city. If a man built a house and it pleased not Nashon, he sent forth the demolition squads, and the house became dust in the twinkling of an eye.

9 He walked through the streets with the stride of a conqueror. If a man sneezed within the walls of the city, and the sound pleased not Nashon, the man was fined for the noise.

10 And the people marveled, saying, "Behold, he serves the King’s table, yet his spirit is with the rebels. He enters the camp of the opposition and destroys it with a word, then returns to the King’s palace and smiles. He is a double agent, but he hideth it not."

11 And there was Festus, the Scribe of Labour and Employment. He was a man of loud voice and silver tongue.

12 His task was not to sow fields nor to hire workers, but to stand upon the walls and shout down the complaints of the hungry. He was the Keeper of the Megaphone.

13 And whenever the people cried upon the Digital Parchments (Twitter), saying, "We have no meat," Festus appeared with a long scroll.

14 And he wrote, saying, "Thou art hungry because thou lovest not the King enough. Thy hunger is a lack of patriotism, not a lack of bread."

15 Verily, Festus could argue with a stone wall and prevail. If the wind blew from the North, Festus would issue a proclamation explaining why the wind was actually blowing from the South, and the wall would be confused.

16 And there was Hannah, the Keeper of the Arts and the Soft Life. She was fair to look upon, and her robes were of the finest silk from the merchants of Paris.

17 And while the Minister of Power beat his breast, crying, "The light is gone! The grid hath fallen!", Hannah was in the land of the Franks.

18 She stood in the halls of fashion, taking images of herself. She said, "Though darkness covers the land, culture must thrive. Behold my new raiment."

19 And the people said, "Truly, this is art. For while we sweat in the darkness, she taketh selfies by the light of the generator."

20 And finally, there was Berenice, the Keeper of the Poor and the Solver of Poverty. Her title was long, but her days were short.

21 For the spirit of greed entered into her, and she sought to turn the tears of the poor into wine for her own table.

22 There arose a great scandal concerning the fifty and eight thousand pieces of silver. It was a number that sounded like the combination to a secret vault.

23 And the scribes found the writ. It said, "Take the silver intended for the orphans and send it into the bag of Berenice, that she might water the garden of her house."

24 And the flow of money was like a mighty river, but it flowed not into the ocean of the poor, but into the private account of the mistress.

25 But King Asa saw the commotion, and his wrath was kindled. He said, "Enough!" And he stayed the hand of Berenice, and suspended her from the council.

26 Thus the pot of soup was stirred by forty and eight hands. And the people watched from afar, saying, "They eat, and they drink, and they dance, while we lick the bowl."

27 And the forty and eight ministers sat in their high chairs, and they called it "Governance." But unto the people, it was a circus, and they were the clowns.

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