Alonge aderemi welding and iron bending

01/07/2021

07/08/2015

A secondary school geography
teacher went to drink at a beer
parlour after school on Friday. His
wife was at home waiting for him
to come back as usual. Past 4PM,
he's not yet back, so his wife thought he is
staying for evening class.
8 PM, he's not yet back so the wife
became worried and alerted some
friends. They all went to the school
to find where he was. They called the principal and he said the man
left for home immediately after
school. This made the wife to
become more worried
11pm, they've not found him. They
reported to the police who joined in the search. At about 2:30am,
they found the man sitting at a
corner, awake and not sleeping.
They reached to him and asked
why he has refused to come home.
He replied, "You are all bunch of illiterates! You lack the knowledge
of Geography... since the earth
rotates with everything in it, I
decided to sit here and wait for my
house."

07/08/2015

U add him on BBM
•He checks ur pictures.
•He Uses Blackberry Q10 to
•He likes u
•He pinged u
•U reply, all excited, U'll want to hook up• U set a date•
U dress up weaaring dat legging
Wit
NO UNDERWEAR•
U smell good•
U put on a makeup - fresh breath & new weave•
He takes u for lunch•
He Takes u For Drinks• U two have
a good time•
He rubs ur hand
•Makes u laugh(all women luv dat) •Gives u looks nd smiles
•U fall in-love•
It's like u've known him forever
•He
takes u to his apartment
•He makes u feel comfortable •He lays u on his bed
•He rubs it gently
•Kiss u passionately
•Pulls ur Leggings •They're too
tight but he manages to take them
off •U love his aggression, strength,
power & u give in
•It feels good
•U know it's wrong, but it feels so
good
•U ask for protection, he says it's too late
•U obey & don't disturb •He says
he loves u nd u don'thesitate to say
u love him
too
•He inserted it slowly •you asked him to come faster
•he wanted to remove but you
holdd him back
•he said he is tired but u beg 4
more •He pulls out, goes to the
kitchen to get a glass of water •He helps u drink it ...
Ohh man u feel special
•"He must be the one! " U think to
urself
•You'll get dressed
•He takes u to the taxi rank •He kisses u on the cheek & say "I had
a great time!"
•Gives U( # 1000naira )•U smile &
say "See u tomorrow
babe."
•He stays silent •Your taxi drives away
•In the taxi you can't stop smiling
•U get home & pinged him that u
got home safe
•He's read, but doesn't reply
•It's unlike him, so u piinged him again•He doesn't
respond
•Minutes later u can't find him on
ur bbm list
•HE BLOCKED and DELETED U!!!
•Days, weeks, months passes by •U start feeling sick, weak, loose
weight, act strange wit
sores in your mouth
•U go to the clinic
•Get tested•Minutes later...
•Nurse walks in..."I'm sorry.You're HIV Postive & Pregnant!"
•"HOW?" U don't understand•Real
ity hits u
•U walk home, Scared, Confused•U
go to the train
railway, u lay hopeless ndemotionless
•U see the train coming nearer, u
look into the sky&
mumble a prayer •That's the end
of u
•Don't be that girl! Live well.Stop chasing material
things...>:/
Live Positively!!
Live well!!

07/08/2015

Conversation between satan and
God
Satan:Hahahaha
God; why are you laughin
satan ; am not laughing
God ; then what are u doing? satan ;am smiling
God ; why smiling
satan : u said this is ur child?
GOD: which one?
Satan ; the one reading this
GOD :of course this is my child satan : ha since morning your child
have not even
mentioned your name not even
once
God : but still i love my child and i
know he does too. Satan: no he doesn't, this child is
mine, since morning has
been committing sin ..and bad and
evil thoughts are in his
mind.
God : satan your a liar, i created this child in my own
image and likeness.. Ok to prove
that his mine, wait and
see him comment. "AM FOR GOD"
satan : hahaha ok lets wait and see
ok lets make a deal God : ok satan if he ignores the
message his yours
and if he Comments and SHARE
then his mine, deal?
Satan: ok deal.. Hahahaha
God : satan why are u stil laughing? satan : am laughing because no
one cares and no one will
comment
God : lets wait and cee
God : the choice is yours

07/08/2015

CHILDREN'S EARS ARE SHARPER
THAN OUR EARS O:: A kid went to
the police to report about his lost
bicycle;; KID; my new bicycle has
been stolen;;; POLICE;; when did
you notice???;; KID;; this morning;; POLICE;; do you have a suspect??;;
KID;; yes, my mum and dad;;;
POLICE;; why do you suspect
them??;; KID;; yesterday midnight, i
heard my mum say, make it stand,
so i can sit on it very well. And my dad said. Climb up fast before it
falls. I then heard my mum say.
Push it slowly, don't hut me!;;;
POLICE;; (laughing uncontrollable) the police man whispered to the other police officer; omo na senior
bicycle this boy the talk of oo;;. The
police man said to the kid; oya go
back home, i'm sure they have
returned it;; @ If you want to
laugh from now till next generation; lyk this page

07/08/2015

A certain family was havin dinner.
Their 6year old daughter started
telling a story.
Daughter: On our way back from
School, we saw daddy with a girl.
Dad: Don't talk with food in your mouth.
Mum: Let her talk.
Daughter: You went in the bush
but we followed you then you
started kissing, undressed and
then......and then... Mum: and then what swity say it?
Daughter: They started doin what
you do with uncle paul when
daddy is not at home.
Mum: Daddy said don't talk with
food in your mouth stop it now. "Click and like this page for more",
"Also don't forget to share it"

07/08/2015

This Lagos sef don tire me. Jeje I
was sitting in my
car on a very long fuel queue from
the Mobil in
Maryland. This queue was almost
getting to Anthony bus stop. It was one of
those days when
there was no fuel at all. Suddenly
na him I see
one guy run past my car with jerry
can in one hand shouting "won ti bere oooooo"I quickly
jumped out of my car opened my
booth, got my
jerry can and ran after him. He
kept on running
towards Maryland. When he got to the filling
station he shouted again "won ti
bere oooo" this
in yoruba actually means they
have started oooooo.
He ran past the filling station and headed towards
Sheraton hotel. Those that know
this area will
understand the distance. I tried to
run faster to
catch up and ask Kini won bere? Meaning "what
have they started?" But this boy
ran faster. I looked back and I saw
like 6 people had joined us
everybody with jerry can in one
hand. We continued past Sheraton and
headed towards
Ikeja bus stop. When we got to
Ikeja bus stop he
shouted again won ti bere oooooo....and continued running we all continued
asking each other wetin happen
but nobody seemed to know
as we chased after him.
Finally we got to oshodi isale and
he shouted again by this time we were like 40
people running
after him all of us with jerry can in
one hand. He
shouted again won ti bere
oooooo!!!!!! He continued running towards iyana Isolo and finally
after getting to iyana Isolo he
stopped and we
were all gasping for breath both
men and women,
some with pot bellies, I moved close to him and
asked Kini won bere?
He answered Man United and
Barcelona match have started!!
I fainted.

06/08/2015

A man travelled to jerusalem with
his wife and grand mother.
when they got there the grand
mother died.
the man demanded the cost of the
burial arrengement . he was told it would cost him just
$100 to bury her there but $10,000
to be taking back home
considering the huge price
difference
the man still decided to take the body home. when asked why he
wants to spend such money
the man said
"several years ago i learnt that a
certain man died here and
resurrected after 3 days, i wouldn't want to take that chance because
this woman is so stubborn!"
Don't 4get to like our page for
more
U can also share!

06/08/2015

FOR SINGLE LADIES. OVERCOMING
SEXUAL DECEPTION.
1. S*x is NOT love. Love is not s*x.
2. You can have s*x and not be in
love.
You can be in love and not engage in s*x.
3. A man may hate you and still
have s*x with you. Be wise.
4.Using s*x to manipulate a man
will eventually fail.
5. It is self deception to think that giving him s*x will make him love
you.
6. True Love will never force you to
engage in s*x.
7. A man who doesn't love you will
not change his mind because of s*x.
8. If he tells you to ‘prove your
love’ by having s*x with him, He
is only using you.
9. If he is in it for the s*x, ‘better
s*x’ will take him away from you.
10.Making yourself his ‘s*x
slave’ is foolish. Love will never
shame or degrade you.
If you have made the mistake of
trying to use s*x to buy this man, now is the time to
re-assess your relationship and
build it on the right foundation.
If he gets married to you because
‘the s*x is good’, it will be fatal
to your marriage. Let him get married to you because he loves
you, honors you, feels a strong
emotional, mental and spiritual
connection with you and wants
you to spend the rest of his life
with you...... LIKE TAG COMMENT WHAT YOU
THINK.

06/08/2015

Akpos went to USA and had a 1 on
1 meeting
with OBAMA
OBAMA : I want to show you how
much
advanced we are. Come with me, He takes him to a
forest.
OBAMA : Dig the ground. Akpos did
it.
OBAMA : More….More… More …
Akpos went up to 100 Feet. OBAMA: So now, try to search for
something.
Akpos : I got a Wire.
OBAMA: You know, it shows that
even 100
years ago we used to have telephones.
Akpos became frustrated. He
invited OBAMA
to Nigeria. That year, OBAMA
visited Nigeria.
Akpos : I want to show you our advancement. He takes OBAMA to a
forest.
Akpos : Dig it... obama does. Akpos:
More….More… More…… OBAMA
goes upto
almost 400 feet. Akpos :Try to find something.
OBAMA tried.
Akpos : Did you get anything?
OBAMA: No, there is nothing here.
Akpos: you know, it shows that
even 400 years ago, we
used to have WIRELESS mobile.
How Many 'LIKE' For Akpos
Kindly Like This Page Alonge just for fun

06/08/2015

In a court trial, a lawyer called his
first
witness who happens to an elderly
grandmother, to the stand,
he went to her and ask,
"Mama akpors" do you know me? She responded; yes, i do know you
Mr
pollus. I've known you since you
were
a young boy, and to be frank, you
have been a disapointment to your
parents
and to the society,you are a liar,
you
cheat people including your
wife.you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs, you think
you
are a big man when you don't even
have brain and manners,
yes' i know u!.. The lawyer was stunned, not
knowing
what else to do, he pointed across
the
room and ask again;
Mama akpors" do you know the defence lawyer?
She replied; yes i do, i've known Mr
Gideon since he was a young boy
too,
he has been your very good friend
because the two of you have de same
character. He has also been a very
lazy
man and he has a drinking
problem.
Infact he is a criminal, he can't even build a normal relationship with
anyone, his law pratice is one of
the
worst in the entire state. Not to
mention, he cheated on his wife
with more than 3 different women, one
of
them was your wife,
yes, i know him.
The defence lawyer almost fainted..
The judge called the both lawyers to his
table
and in a very quiet voice,said, if
any of
you idiots ask her if she knows me,
i will make sure you lose your
license! pls like dis page for more jokes