Jokes Updates Around The World

Jokes Updates Around The World Ejemulash is a coporate company that engages in nylon recycling and manufacturing, agrucultural products selling, land and property managing

23/11/2018

Expericed cleaning associate needed .

24/10/2017

Akpors chatting with his Girlfriend...
Girlfriend: Hi
Akpos: How are u?
Girlfriend: I'm not alriqht.
Akpors: Ooh,you know i love u...what is the problem?
Girlfriend: Plz,can u send me 10k.
Akpors: For what?
Girlfriend: I want to use it to buy some clothes and bags.
Akpors: Hmmmm,that's my girl. Take it...K,K,K,K,K,K,K,K,K & k. Do u want More???
Describe Akpors in One Word

24/10/2017

Akpors came home drunk
Akpors: My dear it's like the Light in the toilet is now automatic o.
Wife: What happened???
Akpors : When I went to the toilet, I opened the door the light just on. After I finished urinating I closed the door then the light went off.
Wife : ANU-OFIA ...you went to urinate in the fridge..
😁

24/10/2017

Akpors visited his friend Johnny.
Johnny called his wife and asked her to serve them drinks.
when the wife was done with the serving, she sat down right opposite Akpors with
her legs open. Akpors could not control himself so he enjoyed the view. when Johnny went inside the house, Johnny's wife said to
Akpors, "do you like what you see"?
Akpors said YES. Johnny's wife said , "you can have it, but it will only
cost you N10,000, and Akpors agreed
so they fixed a time, 12pm the next day
when the husband Johnny, will be at
work.
So the next day, Akpors came over at the exact time and they enjoyed themselves then he paid her.
When johnny came back, this was what transpired between them;
Johnny: honey was Akpors here today?
WIFE: [AFRAID] yes
Johnny : at 12pm right ?
WIFE : [ALMOST FAINTING ] yes
Johnny : OHH, Akpors my good friend, always keeping time ...
WIFE : Honey, why do you ask?
Johnny : he came over to my office this morning and borrowed N10,000 from me promising to bring it back to you at the house by 12pm, so did he bring it ?
The wife FAINTED!!!!

24/10/2017

Akp0rs and His qirLfrieNd
were str0llinq ar0und their
NeiqHb0urhood.
While they were walkinq and
Talkinq, the qiRL saw a
Handbaq 0n DispLay in a
Boutique witH a Price taq of
N50,000.
She cuddled Akpors and said
"Honey, I wanna buy this Baq
but i forqot mY purse at
Home.
Can you Lend me N50,000
please?
There's an ATM nearbY."
Akp0rs : "ehmmm....0wk.. "
(Akpors opens his wallet and
brinqs 0uT N200)
"Sweetheart..yo ur House is
not too far from here riqHt?..
Take this money, qet a Bike, qo
home and qeT your Purse, I'll
be waitinq here.".............. .
0ne word for

15/02/2017

Bayern Munich score 4 unanswered goals in the 2nd half to take a big edge to Arsenal for the return leg.

*PH* *&* *GH* *GROUP*You get 💯percent of your investment here. HOW DOES THIS GROUP WORK? 1⃣You make a pledge to *PH* by ...
29/12/2016

*PH* *&* *GH* *GROUP*

You get 💯percent of your investment here.

HOW DOES THIS GROUP WORK?

1⃣You make a pledge to *PH* by sending your details in this format *NAME/PHONE NUMBER/BANK NAME* to the group.

2⃣You can PH N5000 with one detail and in one order. Also, You can PH N10000 with one detail in two orders and so on.

3⃣Please 👏🏻 don't bother to make a pledge if you don't have your N5000 with you.

4⃣Remember the time frame is *24hours*, so if it beyond that time *Lodge* a complain for rematch.

And finally..

5⃣ Your *GH* is fixed and certain. You don't have to request to GH

*IT'S FIRST COME FIRST SERVE*

Follow this link to join the WhatsApp group ➡➡➡ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BsSTMXm91mv44qrX3NRl61

Follow this link to join

09/07/2016

Dangers Of Blood Covenant. Episode 5.
one fateful day something happened, Kate came to our house wearing her shots aswell, she said something fell
into her eyes that i should look straight into her eyes to help her remove it, and i was about to help her remove it,
so i grab her face, looking directly inside her eyes but i found nothing, i told her quickly that am not seeing
anything in her eyes, she smiled and said that she wanted me to touch her face, she held me on my waist, her body was
very cold like ice-block, we started starring at each other as-if we are acting a movie,
she started removing my clothes, i was just standing and
looking at her, she removed my shirt and she pulled my trouser, i was wearing only my boxas, she now pushed me to the
bed, she removed her own clothes and was about to climb the bed, all my body was so strong, i was already in the mood,
she now climbed the bed wearing only her inner wears, in my heart i was already having a picture of me and her having 5ex,
i never remembered anything about the covenant, the devil took away my mind and i forgot everything,
she now brought her mouth closer to kiss me, immediately something like a heavy stone struck my heart and i shouted....
Joy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, i quickly jumped up from the bed, and i wore my clothes immediately, Kate was very surprised,
she said maybe am not a man, a real and complete man cannot resist this, she said maybe i dont have a man-hood, she
was very angry with me, she picked up her things and left.
This was how i would have killed myself, i was very thankful to God, i picked up my phone and called Joy, i did not
tell her what happened, i only asked her how she was doing, she told me that she is fine but there is a very big
problem in her family.
She said that her father cannot afford a house rent, so they have finally packed from the City to their Village, thats
the first sad news, and the second one is that someone is asking for her hand in marriage, she said that the man seeking
to Marry her is a very rich man and due to the poor state of her family, everybody was telling her to marry the young man
because he will be Like Jesus to them and he will deliver them from poverty, her father said she must marry the man, her
mother supported and the man in question is begging and very serious to marry her once she agreed to.
I told her never to concur to what they are saying, she said she would have agreed if not for the blood covenant,
the problem she is facing in the hand of her parents is much, i told her never to give up that i must surely come
for her.
Joy is facing a very big problem in that village, while am in school facing another bigger problem, am seeing many
bad things happening in school, i have feelings for some ladies but because of the covenant, i cannot talk to any of
them, the urge to flexing around with friends was much on me.
It was a week after, i met Kate in one of the classroom, she told me that she dont like what i did to her, she promised me
that she will show me the order side of her, i never knew kate was planning evil against me, she was a member of a cult
in the campus, they are known as The Black Lioness".
Its a female cult, it was one of my friend that told me that kate is among the Black Lioness Girls Cult.
I became afraid and went and begged her to forgive me, she said that forgiveness is a sin in their cult, she said she must
pay me back.
Oneday when i was coming back from evening lectures, some group of ladies gathered me and forced me to follow them, i followed
them to a nearby bush, they are twelve in number. they took me to the bush and all of them were wearing Black clothe.
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 6.

09/07/2016

Dangers Of Blood Covenant. Episode 4.
After The blood covenant with Joy, when i came back home that very day,
i was very happy that we did it finally, its now that i know that Joy
truly love me and she can never leave me, my mind was relaxed and my
spirit was at peace.
The next day i met Joy in school, she smiled at me and said that God
have Join us together with Love but she said she is afraid of the
covenant we made, i told her never to be afraid that i will always be
by her side and i will protect her.
Everybody in school knew Joy as my girlfriend even the teachers, if you
look for her trouble, that means you are looking for my trouble aswell.
Many people call us husband and wife, they see it as joke but they dont
know that we already had a covenant.
After one year, we graduated from secondary school and now planning to
enter into university, Joy parents had no money to train her in the University,
so they suggested she should go and learn handwork, i told her never to
worry that everything will be fine, i will go to university for the
benefit of both of us.
Joy later agreed to go and learn hair dresser. After some few months, i got
an admission to university, my love Joy was so happy for me.
On the day i will vacate to school, she called me and gave me a ring, she said
i should be using the ring to remember her, she prayed for me and asked God
to help me.
School is not really easy, it is a place where you meet different kind of people,
i have a strong believe that i will not break my oath with Joy.
Finally i vacated to school, in school i met a guy called zacky, he was a very
Good friend of mine, we live like brothers but zacky love chasing after ladies, he
can never do without ladies, he changes them like clothe, he jump from one lady to
another, oneday i called him and asked him why he is jumping from one lady to another,
he told me that this is the only opportunity he have to do it, after here no more, he said
he dont want school to pass through him, rather he will pass through school.
Sometimes Zacky will bring his girlfriend in our room, they will be playing and making
love in my presence but all i could say is this....How i wish Joy is here with me."
Zacky noticed that i dont toil with ladies, i always stay on my own, he called me oneday and
asked me why i dont want to associate with any lady, i told him that i dont need any of them,
he laughed and said that i should not worry because oneday i must surely need one.
Oh! this ladies in our lodge wont stop seducing me with their dressing, they wear shorts and
some can even wear pants and walk outside, they are not ashamed, they are really tempting me.
There is this girl in our lodge that my mind always beat for, her name is Kate, she normally
come close to me, oneday she asked me this question saying.......Jude Do you have a girlfriend
here in campus"?
This question turned my head upside down, had it been she asked me if i have a girlfriend, i will
answer yes, but she included "Here in campus".
so i answered and said.."I have a girlfriend but not in this campus".
She now asked me out and said....."Can i be your girlfriend?"
i was quiet for a moment, i think this is devil trying to put sand in my food.
i replied and said No i already have a girlfriend, she said ok lets just be ordinary friend.
This is my first time of seeing a lady proposing to a man.
Me and Kate became more close, we are acting as boyfriend and girlfriend but we are not,
Kate love wearing shots, and mini gown, and anytime she want to talk to me, she will either put her
chest on my body or she will hold my shoulder.
She have been a very big temptation to me and i dont know how to cut this our friendship off because i already
have a blood covenant with Joy.
one fateful day something happened, Kate came to our house wearing her shots aswell, she said something fell
into her eyes that i should look straight into her eyes to help her remove it, and i was about to help her remove it.
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 5.
Are you interested in the next episode?, Just comment YES then
share this story.

Address

3rd Floor Rufai Oayiwola Shoping Complex Benjamin Bus Stop Eleyele
Ibadan

Opening Hours

Monday 08:00 - 17:00
Tuesday 08:00 - 17:00
Wednesday 08:00 - 17:00
Thursday 08:00 - 17:00
Friday 08:00 - 17:00

Telephone

+2347014787205

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Jokes Updates Around The World posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Business

Send a message to Jokes Updates Around The World:

Share