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09/01/2023

2022 end of the year party was fun

07/08/2017

MENSTRUAL CYCLE AND OVULATION PERIOD....Married ones.

Most girls don't understand this because of much heavy grammar used to teach it, and we don't listen to our body too. I read, I started listening to my body for signs and I arrived at the simple analysis/steps........

👉MENSTRUAL PERIOD:The time blood flows out of your private area, when you use pad.
👉MENSTRUAL CYCLE: Days it takes to see another blood in the month. If you last saw your period in June 11th and it started again on July 10th 2017, then you have 30days cycle (count from 11 June to 10 July).
NOTE: It is erroneous to believe its 28days cycle, different women have different cycles ranging from 21-35 days.

👉OVULATION PERIOD: This is time to get pregnant without stress. This is 2 weeks after your period or 2 weeks before the next period.
Here's a simple way to calculate your ovulation (unsafe) period.

1. From the first day you see the blood of your period.
2. Pick up a calendar and count 15 days including the first day of the blood stain.
3. Mark the 15th day with a pen.
4. Mark 3 days before the 15th day, and mark 3 days after the 15th day.
6. You will notice you have 7 days marked.
These 7 days are your ovulation/fertile days also known as unsafe period.
That is if you have s*x on any of these days, then you have 98% chances of being pregnant.
7. Do this every month diligently

EVERY OTHER DAY IS YOUR SAFE PERIOD.
For example:

1. If your period is 11th July, 2017,
2. 15 days after the first day of the blood stain will be on 25th of this July too (2weeks after) counting from 11th.
3. 15th day is on the 25th July 2017.
4. 3days before the 15th day is 22, 23, 24.
5. 3days after 25th July 2017 is 26,27,28.
6. 22-28th July (7days) is when you are ovulating. It is your fertile period.
**Don't forget that the 7 days is a reminder that s***m stays in the female body for about 7 days. Any s*xual contact in between ovulation period will form something that has ears, eyes, etc.
ALSO......
If you want a baby girl, have
s*x between 3 days before ovulation (22- 24th) 2017.

For a baby boy on the main ovulation day and 3 days after 25th...........
MAJOR SIGNS THAT YOUR OVULATION HAS BEGAN...

You don't need a doctor, just relax. After 2 weeks you may feel the following:
1. Headache.
2. High body temperature.
3. Dizziness (feeling of tiredness and sleepiness).
4. Breast tenderness/ size increases just like when you are menstruating.
5. Increased s*x drive.
6. Light cramps or pain on one side of the pelvis.
7. Abdominal bloating.
8. Heightened sense of smell, taste or vision (you eat more).
9. Va**na mucus becomes slippery (if you notice, put it in between fingers...it stretches like thick catarrh or snail mucus...colorless like egg white. ..........
N/B: The instance here is for ladies with 30 days cycle. And someone who saw her period in July 2017. If yours is 28, then it's 14 days and not 15 days.
**
If you have headache without a cause, check back to when your period started. You can drink both malt and peak milk....don't run to the pharmacist always on issues that can be naturally handled, because drugs are not always good on girls. Or you can take only paracetamol.
👉MEN, read and educate your wives and sisters, most don't know this.

27/09/2014

Watching Football with our wives can
be very frustrating and stressful Imagine this:
Wife : Dipo, who's that guy. Is that Chris
Brown?
Husband: Chris bawo, no na. that's Theo
Walcott!! Wife: Hey! What's that yellow card for?
Husband: Its a warning to a player; and red means the player must stop playing and leave the pitch.
Wife: Ohhh! It's something similar to a traffic light: Yellow - warning, Red - Stop. Husband: Yeah yeah sure.. You are right.!!
Wife: What about the green card?
Husband: Ohhh! there's nothing like that in football.
Wife: Which teams are these?
Husband: Which kind wahala be this na!! God! It's Arsenal and Chelsea. What
again!
Wife: Ok ok ok! What colour is Arsenal putting on?
Husband: You no get eyes No be red jersey be that?
Wife: Ok..which team is putting on blue?
Husband: (upset)...Omg, Haba, Wetin na. Don't you know its Chelsea?
Wife: Enhe? Wow! I want Arsenal to win the world cup.
Husband: Wetin concern Arsenal with world cup? Where you from sef?
Wife: Take am easy na! Please who's that old man?
Husband: Hmmm... that's Arsenal's coach, Arsene Wenger WifeOooh Ok..... I understand now. Sooo that means the other coach is Chelsea Wenger?
Husband: You are silly. Wo, arabirin free me jare!!
(Changes Channel).
Hahahahaahahahaha!

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