Relationship therapist and counselor

03/01/2026

03/01/2026

Good morning from here.

Who miss me

28/12/2024

HOW TO IDENTIFY A MAN AND A BOY IN A RELATIONSHIP DURING A HEATED ARGUMENT.

*Boy:*
1. *Immature behavior*: A boy might become defensive, dismissive, or even aggressive when confronted with an issue.
2. *Lack of accountability*: He might blame his partner, make excuses, or deny responsibility for his actions.
3. *Emotional instability*: A boy might become overly emotional, reactive, or even violent when things don't go his way.
4. *Inability to listen*: He might interrupt, talk over, or dismiss his partner's feelings and concerns.
5. *Need to "win" the argument*: A boy might prioritize being "right" over understanding and resolving the issue.
*Man:*
6. *Mature communication*: A man engages in respectful, open, and honest communication, even in difficult conversations.
7. *Accountability*: He takes responsibility for his actions, acknowledges his mistakes, and makes amends when necessary.
8. *Emotional intelligence*: A man is aware of his emotions and can manage them in a healthy way, even in the face of conflict.
9. *Active listening*: He listens attentively to his partner, acknowledges their feelings, and responds thoughtfully.
10. *Focus on resolution*: A man prioritizes finding a solution and moving forward, rather than "winning" the argument.

In an argument, a man is more likely to:

- Stay calm and composed
- Listen actively and respond thoughtfully
- Take responsibility for his actions
- Show empathy and understanding
- Seek a resolution that works for both partners

On the other hand, a boy might:

- Become defensive or aggressive
- Blame his partner or make excuses
- Dismiss or minimize his partner's feelings
- Prioritize being "right" over finding a solution
- Struggle to manage his emotions and behave impulsively.

02/12/2024

HOW TO HANDLE FIGHTS IN A RELATIONSHIP.

1. Know that it is normal for two people in love to disagree, offend each other, fall short, or misunderstand each other

2. Always remember how much you love and need each other. Remembering this will give you the incentive to resolve any conflict between you two. Don't throw away true love because of a passing storm

3. Know each other's temperaments. If you are a hot-tempered person, tell your partner/spouse so that your partner/spouse will prepare incase you spark off. But work on your temper still

4. Agree how to handle fights before fights emerge. A nation develops a constitution to guide its operation, partners/spouses agree on what to do to guide in relations

5. Don't let the fear of fighting or disagreeing with your partner/spouse keep you two from confronting each other and expressing your feelings. Too many are tired, bored, frustrated or angry in their relationship/marriage but pretend all is well because they are afraid of talking about heavy and uneasy stuff with their partner. Slowly their relationship/marriage collapses, you can't pretend for long

6. Before you confront and blame your partner/spouse, analyze the situation and see if you have played a role in causing the problem

7. When a fight between you two is approaching or something happens that inflames tempers, walk away, cool off. Don't talk in anger. Cool down then talk rationally

8. Remember you are in the same team. Fighting your partner/spouse is fighting what you two have, which in effect is fighting yourself

9. Avoid insults. Hold and control your tongue, hurtful words only complicate matters, once they are spoken they can't be taken back

10. Don't be tempted to use the information your partner/spouse shared with you in trust to get your way. Don't use the secrets your partner/spouse shared with you to attack or intimidate your partner/spouse

11. Don't disclose matters to a third party. Solve the matter the two of you. Don't gossip.

02/12/2024

4 DECISIONS TO MAKE BEFORE YOU MARRY

There is a saying that, to be forewarned is to be forearmed. A soldier doesn't learn how to shoot a gun at the battle front but before the battle begins.

The same with marriage. You don't prepare in marriage, you prepare for marriage. So, before you enter into marriage, here are 12 crucial decisions you need to make.

1. The Kind Of Marriage You Want
When a man wants to build a house, the first thing he does is to decide the kind of house he wants to build and then he'll go ahead to build.

Likewise, when you want to marry, decide the kind of marriage you want. Have a vision for your marriage. Don't just get married because you have or need to. What kind of marriage do you want? Do you want a peaceful, happy, satisfying, fulfilling and a successful marriage, now is the time to decide it? Decide to make your marriage worth emulating.

2. To Make Your Marriage Work
Just as life is filled with challenges, that's how marriage carries its own challenges. So, it's your duty to make it work.

Many people just one challenge they encounter like this in their marriage, they're gone. That's why you see many that have been married 4 to 7 times. Decide that come what may, your marriage must work! You will not just get married but will stay happily married.

3. To Be A Faithful Partner
After marriage, you'll see woman that are more beautiful, talented, connected and endowed than your wife, you'll see men more caring, romantic, handsome, rich and fun to be with than your husband. It's very tempting. You maybe begin to think that you made a mistake.

Therefore, decide before hand that you're going to be a faithful partner no matter what. No matter what your husband or wife does, you will never cheat. No emotional or s*xual affairs. Decide now to be faithful, committed, loyal and honest.

4. To Forgive Your Partner
Let me remind you that you're getting married to an imperfect person full of weaknesses and shortcomings.

02/12/2024

“ *CHEATING IS A CHOICE, STAYING FAITHFUL IS ALSO A CHOICE.* ❤️

You will always meet ladies who are more attractive than your woman, you will meet ladies with more vibes, you will meet women who are more informed, you will meet women who acts as though they care more than your woman.

Also as a woman you will meet men who are far richer than your man, you will meet men with more attractive body than your man, you will meet men with more vibes, you will meet men who act more caring than your spouse, you will meet men who talks better than your man;

I mean men who knows how to say sweet words, crack jokes. Etc.
Note. People must always be better than others in some areas of life.

And sometimes the people we see as being better than our spouses may not even be what we feel they're. Note. People show you what they want you to see and most of the time it is not their true self they reveal outside.

Learn to appreciate your partner

Love your partner without any reservations.

Whenever you feel unsatisfied regarding any aspect your partner is not doing well, be willing enough to open up to him/her.
Be satisfied please.

It takes commitment, and self control and discipline to stay faithful, and believe me it is achievable.

Love is never enough, self-discipline and relentless commitment is very essential when it comes to relationship/marriage.

02/12/2024

You're responsible for your life,
*Instead of saying:*
-I don't know how to do it.
-I can't do it,
-I don't think I will make it,
*Why not be positive and say:*
-I want to do it,
-How can I do this,
-I'll try to do it,
-I can do it,
-I will do it,
-I will make it
-Teach me how to do it
Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.

02/12/2024

MATURITY IS A MINDSET, NOT AGE. HERE ARE 14 SIGNS YOU ARE MATURE :

You are not scared to be alone.

You realize money is not evil. Lack of money is.

You know that you are your worst enemy and you are your best supporter too.

You realize that life's much better when no one knows anything about you.

You don't care what other people think about you anymore.

You stop chasing meaningless relationships and focus on improving yourself.

You focus more on the opportunity of learning than the risk of failure.

You don't stress about things that are out of your control.

You understand that 9-5 won't help you achieve financial freedom.

You understand that you get paid based on the value you are providing.

In the real world, grades aren't the only measure of value. Connections, background, and practical skills often surpass academic performance. While grades may open doors.

You understand that life's much better when you focus on improving yourself rather than partying every weekend.

You realize that in the end only your family and a few true friends will be there for you.

You also realize that in the end, even your family and friends will leave you, only the God remains with you.

02/12/2024

WHAT MANY PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND ABOUT LOVE.

1. There will be times I will be so mad at you and cold towards you. It's not that I hate you. I am just disappointed by what you did, my love hasn't gone any where.

2. There will be times I will not spend as much time with you as you wish me to. It's not that I am ignoring you, I am working hard for our future.

3. There will be times I will say or do something wrong. It's not that I meant to hurt you, we all fall short sometimes. Forgive me, teach me to love you.

4. There will be friends in my life. But never doubt that you are my first priority.

5. There will be moments I will not be that conversational, I will not be so fun to talk with. It's not that I find you boring. My mood has changed, I need some minutes to myself, I will come around.

6. There will be moments where I want to scream at you and say all that is in my head in anger. It's not that you are my enemy, but sometimes you get on my nerves. I will control my temper and my tongue, you're still the one that I love.

7. There will be moments where you want s*x but I will not be up to it. It's not that I don't find you s*xy anymore or I am cheating on you. I am just tired, allow me to rest and I will s*x you good when I am refreshed. I love the s*x in our marriage.

8. There will be wonderful people of the opposite gender at work and in public, they dress well and are successful; some of them more successful than you. It doesn't mean I will abandon you and chase after them.

9. There will be moments where I will be tough on you. It's not that I am trying to change you or treat you like a baby. I am only challenging you to be better because I know your potential.

10. There will be moments where I forget things, special dates or a duty I said I will do. It's not that I am taking you for granted, sometimes in this busy life, the mind forgets.

11. There will be days when things between us will get so tough and we might seem like we are falling apart.

02/12/2024

HOW NOT TO TALK TO YOUR SPOUSE

1. Don't order your spouse around like a servant. It shows pride

2. Don't talk to your spouse as if your spouse is a congregant and you are the Bishop. It shows no romantic love. You are not on the pulpit

3. Don't talk to your husband like he is a child, in a condescending way, "Let me tell immature you what to do". It shows disrespect

4. Don't talk to your wife as if she is stupid or beneath you. It shows dishonour

5. Don't command your spouse publicly or on social media "You, come read this". It embarrasses your spouse. Use courteous words "Darling, please check this out", "Honey, we need to wind up and rush to our other meeting"

6. Don't speak to your spouse with a bitter and rude tone. It pushes your spouse away and discourages conversations

7. Don't shout at your spouse whether you two are alone or infront of the children or househelp. It causes trauma

8. Don't talk to your spouse like a Police officer, interrogating instead of lovingly asking questions. It makes your spouse defensive and feel like running away

9. Don't talk to your spouse filled with insults or vulgar language. It makes your spouse feel not special

10. Don't talk to your spouse all guns blazing without giving room for your spouse to talk. It makes your spouse keep silent and let you talk by yourself

11. Don't talk to your spouse like you do to your juniors at work. This is marriage.

02/12/2024

“ It might shock you to know that a man as rich as Obi Cubana can date a girl that has never seen a million but a girl at his level can never date a man that has never seen a million “ Tiwa Savage

“A billionaire like Obi Cubana can date a girl that has never seen a million and still respect her . But if tables turn , a man that hasn’t seen a million might never have a chance to talk to a lady who is a billionaire without being broke shame . These are uncomfortable truths . If you see how men without money are being treated ,you’ll pity them . Dear young men just hustle , you might never know how much you are loved if you don’t make it in life “

08/11/2024

✨Divorced parents

It is difficult to realize how much the daughter will be affected as a consequence of the divorce of her parents, if she is very small, as she cannot verbalize the way she lives the family separation, when the damage is manifested in adolescence, or in low grades, in food problems, or in the crisis stages of adulthood.

Here the father in his self-centered grief, he can only see his courage and pain for the loss.

As long as the father doesn't get rid of the anger he feels towards the ex-wife he won't be emotionally available to the daughter.

Divorced parents on many occasions show their presence through gifts, mall visits, phone call, but this will not fill the physical and loving void of the father the daughter needed.

❤️ 🩹Another woman in the father's life

Emotions expressed are sadness, resentment, anger, fear, pain, revengeful desires, suicidal feelings.

A teenage daughter could have problems such as getting low grades, dropping out of school, unwanted pregnancies, entering a state of depression, psychosomatic diseases, running away from home, toxic substance use.

When we think about the well-being of our children, we plan to give them what we didn't have, then, when the first child arrives, we come face to face with the reality that being a parent is much more than a sweet dream.

Some days we find ourselves doing the things we promised we'd never do, or give in. We need to develop skills, often too much, that we did not learn in our family of origin.