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A military officer was given a 3-day leave to go n enjoy with his newly wedded wife. He arrived home & realized dat his ...
15/04/2019

A military officer was given a 3-day leave to go n enjoy with his newly wedded wife. He arrived home & realized dat his wife was in her menstrual period! He had to send an SOS message to headquarters requesting for an extension of his leave days. He prepared his message in the usual military coded language.

He wrote:

Soldier: Omega One, this is Omega Twelve. Danger from the field. Red in front. Leave extension requested. Do youu read me? Red in front... Passage not clear, extend leave!

Headquarters replied:

This is Omega One. We read you loud and clear. The danger is minimal. Attack from the back and resume immediately. Leave extension denied. I repeat.... attack with minimal force from the back and resume immediately... Road is clear from behind! Extension denied!
If u know u know
πŸƒπŸƒπŸƒπŸƒπŸƒ

12/08/2018

*Useful information*
πŸ•ΈπŸ•ΈπŸ•ΈπŸ•ΈπŸ•ΈπŸ•ΈπŸ•Έ

1. *PAN*
Primary Account Number.

2. *PDF*
Portable Document format.

3. *SIM*
Subscriber Identity Module.

4. *ATM*
Automated Teller Machine.

5. *Wi-Fi*
Wireless Fidelity.

6. *GOOGLE*
Global Organization Of
Oriented Group
Language Of Earth.

7. *YAHOO*
Yet Another Hierarchical
Officious Oracle.

8. *WINDOW*
Wide Interactive Network
Development for
Office work Solution.

9. *COMPUTER*
Common
Oriented Machine.
Particularly United
and used under Technical
and Educational Research.

10. *VIRUS*
Vital Information
Resources Under Siege.

11. *UMTS*
Universal
Mobile Telecommunicati ons
System.

12. *AMOLED*
Active-Matrix Organic Light-
Emitting diode.

13. *OLED*
Organic
Light-Emitting diode.

14. *IMEI*
International Mobile
Equipment Identity.

15. *ESN*
Electronic
Serial Number.

16. *UPS*
Uninterruptible
Power Supply.

17. *HDMI*
High-Definition
Multimedia Interface.

18. *VPN*
Virtual Private Network.

19. *APN*
Access Point Name.

20. *LED*
Light Emitting Diode.

21. *DLNA*
Digital
Living Network Alliance.

22. *RAM*
Random Access Memory.

23. *ROM*
Read only memory.

24. *VGA*
Video Graphics Array.

25. *QVGA*
Quarter Video
Graphics Array.

26. *WVGA*
Wide video Graphics Array.

27. *WXGA*
Widescreen Extended
Graphics Array.

28. *USB*
Universal Serial Bus.

29. *WLAN*
Wireless
Local Area Network.

30. *PPI*
Pixels Per Inch.

31. *LCD*
Liquid Crystal Display.

32. *HSDPA*
High Speed Down link
Aacket Access.

33. *HSUPA*
High-Speed Uplink
Packet Access.

34. *HSPA*
High Speed
Packet Access.

35. *GPRS*
General Packet
Radio Service.

36. *EDGE*
Enhanced Data Rates
for Globa Evolution.

37. *NFC*
Near
Field Communication.

38. *OTG*
On-The-Go.

39. *S-LCD*
Super Liquid
Crystal Display.

40. *O.S*
Operating System.

41. *SNS*
Social Network Service.

42. *H.S*
HOTSPOT.

43. *P.O.I*
Point Of Interest.

44. *GPS*
Global
Positioning System.

45. *DVD*
Digital Video Disk.

46. *DTP*
Desk Top Publishing.

47. *DNSE*
Digital
Natural Sou

12/08/2018

*ANTI -SNAKE/SCORPION BITES*
_*(Nichoke Dietary Consultancy)*_
*****************************

*Have been taking care of scorpion bite since dawn?*

*Please if you are bitten by a scorpion/snake, hope you know there are ways you can curb it without going to the hospital?*

*Reason am always nagging on ginger, turmeric, garlic, cinnamon to cook not maggi.*

*Well, it saved me today.*

*I equally had limes at home.*

*The moment I heard a scream, what's that?*

_*Scorpion!!!*_

*" Scorpion in my house ?"*

*"Yes, it bite me from the bed"*

*" OK, papa get me the limes in the fridge please. "*

*I tore the spot, ensured blood spilled, then placed the lime there to magnetize the poisons.*

*The moment he told me the pain was gone, I removed it.*

*Then made a paste of garlic and rubbed on his swollen leg and in 1 min, Gbam!*

*Everything disappeared!*
*He's off for work this morning.*

*This is exactly same thing I do for snake bites.*

*Whether you squeeze or just cut the fruit and place on the bloody leg, the important thing is contact with the blood.*

*You will gradually feel the pain going out of you.*

*Please let's all try and have these things in our homes.*

*Even if you want to live your life anyhow, these are for rainy days.*

*Do exactly what I did, even if its a snake.*

*After removing the poisons with lime, make a paste of any of the four herbs listed above and apply then rest.*

*You don't need any Ambulance.*

*You need not some chemicals either.*

*I don't joke with citrus fruits, they are always in my house.*

*Oranges, lemons, and limes. Because they save me.*

*Anytime I urinate and it's yellow, " papa, boil ginger in water for me."*

*He brings the ginger water for me, I squeeze in orange, lemons, limes, drink.*

*And the next urine will be clear again.*

*Any time my urine is smelly, because of my love for excess protein, I do same.*

And before you know it
this leads to the kidney issues you hear of on a daily basis

30/07/2018

GOD BLESS MY FAMILY

When you are successful, the whole world will celebrate with you.
When you fail, it is only your family that will be there.
GO BACK TO YOUR FAMILY!

When you have palm oil on your finger, the whole world will come to lick.
If its blood it is only your Family that will heal.
CELEBRATE YOUR FAMILY.

If you are in the Government house, the whole world will seek you.
If it is the mortuary only your family will come around you.
VALUE YOUR FAMILY.

When you are one year in the office, the whole world will come to celebrate.
If it is one year in the cemetery, only your family will pay a visit.
REMEMBER YOUR FAMILY.

When you have money to give, friends will come and enjoy.
When you have bill to pay friends will run, only family will remain.
SPEND TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY.

When you have coats of many colors, the whole world will love your presence.
When you are naked only your family will stand to cover.
RESPECT YOUR FAMILY.
When there is fame to share everybody will be your friend.
If there is shame to bear only your family will still be proud of you.
SHOW LOVE TO YOUR FAMILY.

Prosperity attract the world, Poverty send them away from you.
Poor or rich you have a place in your home.
HONOR YOUR FAMILY.

Loud ovation and kisses from the world when you succeed, shame and rejection from them when you fail.
Failure or Success there is a room for you in your family.
CONNECT WITH YOUR FAMILY. Good morning.

06/07/2018

*Lawyers will always complicate simple matters!!!*

*Who is a Lawyer?*
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a brief.

A Professor stepped into a law class and threw an orange at one of his students and said *"Give it as a gift to any of your friends now".*

The boy said to one of his friends: *"Tee, I give this orange to you as a gift".*

The Professor gave him a stern look and said: *"Give it to him like a lawyer!!!".*

Immediately, the boy straightened up, cleared his throat and began:

*"I, Olusegun Akanni Babatunde, adult, male of 16, Osolake Street, Ebute metta, Lagos hereby with all intent and purposes, willfully give unto you, Mr Aremu Okikiola, of Abiodun Street, Abule Egba, Lagos this citrus with its skin, seeds, segments, juice and supple innings that you may exercise actual and proprietary rights thereon, to hold unto same as a gift, a bequest, an endowment validly so transferred, given out, bequeathed, alienated, assigned, that you may eat, lick, devour, suck, make juice out of, munch or grant, give out, devolve, alienate in your rightful capacity as the owner either in actual, virtual or constructive capacity of an agent or attorney as may be chosen by you, that the said citrus may be treated in the aforementioned ways or other ways not so listed but not as a weapon to be thrown at persons or animals with malicious intent to hurt, inflict pain or serve as an incendiary action to incite unrest of any kind, but that the said citrus may be used in such beneficial capacity or simply be destroyed in such exercise of legal and equitable ownership as may be fit by the beneficiary of this bequest"*

πŸ™†πŸ½β€β™‚πŸ™†πŸ½β€β™‚πŸ™†πŸ½β€β™‚πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£.
Can you imagine??? Just to give an orange to someone. See complication!!!
*Olorun ma je a ri ejo o. Amin.*

02/07/2018

*SIX LEADERSHIP PRINCIPLES TO LEARN FROM AN EAGLE....*πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺ

1. *Eagles fly Alone and at High Altitudes.*
They don't fly with sparrows, ravens, and other small birds.

*MEANING*; Stay away from narrow-minded people, those that bring you down. Eagle flies with Eagles. Keep good company.

2. *Eagles have an Accurate Vision.* They have the ability to focus on something as far as 5km away. No matter the obstacles, the eagle will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it.

*MEANING*; Have a vision and remain focused no matter what the obstacles and you will succeed.

3. *Eagles do not Eat Dead things. They Feed only on Fresh Prey.*

*MEANING*; Do not rely on your past success, keep looking for new frontiers to conquer. Leave your past where it belongs, in the past.

4. *Eagles Love the Storm.*
When clouds gather, the eagle gets excited, the eagle uses the storms wind to lift itself higher. Once it finds the wind of the storm, the eagle uses the raging storm to lift itself above the clouds. This gives the eagle an opportunity to glide and rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide in the branches and leaves of the tree.

*MEANING*; Face your challenges head on knowing that these will make you emerge stronger and better than you were. We can use the storms of life to rise to greater heights. Achievers are not afraid to rise to greater heights. Achievers are not afraid of challenges, rather they relish them and use them profitably.

5. *Eagles Prepare for Training;*
They remove the feathers and soft grass in the nest so that the young ones get uncomfortable in preparation for flying and eventually flies/ when it becomes unbearable to stay in the nest./

*MEANING*; Leave your Comfort Zone, there is No Growth there.

6. *When the Eagle Grows Old,*
His feathers becomes weak and cannot take him as fast and as high as it should. This makes him weak and could make him die. So he retires to a place far away in the mountains. While there, he

02/07/2018

Your conditions are not your conclusion, God is still God! May God wipe away your secret tears! Amin..... Api New Month

Finally!Fake Military Base Discovered In Benue State At A Place Called OPOKGU Town. This Is Where They Train Armed Robbe...
02/07/2018

Finally!

Fake Military Base Discovered In Benue State At A Place Called OPOKGU Town. This Is Where They Train Armed Robbers, Kidnapers & Other Criminals. These are militias killing people in the disguise of Fulani herdsmen.

Our God is in the business of exposing them.

24/01/2018

there's no supplement to hard work even for the most skilful,success is never guaranted u have to latest go through with what you 😍 start doing what you love or ATLEAT do something then wait for the GRACE OF GOD U can't sit there looking like Oparaji Signboard sitting laid-back waiting for a magic there's no magic except u become a robber even robbery is a job in itself do something and wait for the grace of God Also... I've noticed a lot of people when they start one business and it's not yielding the results that they want, they jump on to another one.. Oh!! this one isn't giving them the money they through they jump again to another one forgetting that consistency is πŸ”‘ key if you really πŸ€” love that thing continue with it you have to 😴 sleep with that hustle consistency till it's pregnant until ur hustle gets pregnant for u it won't give u anything it thighs end πŸ‘† up in the πŸ”₯ hot 🍠 pot of soup create for it, 😴 sleep with it.

28/09/2017

Your attitude may hurt meπŸ™‹ but mine can kill youπŸ’€ πŸ’‚πŸ‘ˆ,,πŸ‘‰I πŸ™Œ might be a kid but am a kid with a wild πŸ† heart β™₯,,, So! Never ❌❌cross the wrong πŸ’ƒπŸ‘Ήside...
"""One of the lessons you can learn in life is to master how to remain calm """"
Murphy Issa Bae!!!

16/09/2017

''I WANT TO STAND ON BEHALF OF THE GUYS''
This piece of message is dedicated to ladies..
BUT WHY...
would you have to keep a guy
on hold upto 3months plus before u
finally accept to date him? Eh? Is it fair or right?
How will a guy have to wait
that long @ the door keep knocking?
Ok! a guy asked u
out and from all indications u like the guy too but u refused to say ''YES'' WHY?
Some girls
say they don't wanna feel CHEAP by
giving him a YES
answer so swiftly,,,....
some say
they wanna take their time to study the guy, we be
mathematics or physics?
Let me just tell
You, a guy that will break ur heart will
definitely do it, if
you like go to the mountain and fast for 40days and 40nites what
will be will be (que sera Sera)...
Some
guys are very patient and gentle! Just like
me even if am to wait a year i will!
So u see dear girls its nt how
long but how well,... all u need to do is pray for the right guy instead of forming Hard to get! It wont help! (aleast a little not too
hard , abeg) Please on behalf of the
guys
kindly look into this matter..
We look forward to seeing
positive changes THANKS....

Address

No. 3 Awoseyin Street Shomolu Bariga
Lagos

Telephone

08145969437

Website

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