Shebanny Investment

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29/09/2017

After my secondary school, I decided to go to a medical school. .At the entrance, we were asked to re-arrange the letter:- *PNEIS*. to form the name of an important body part which is most useful when active ..

Those who wrote spine are now professional doctors. While, those of us that wrote what you're thinking are whatsapp group admins 😹😹😹


1) A man has his fufu and Egusi soup  almost ready for lunch☺☺, a Lizard on the wall fell into the soup in dis recession...
27/09/2017

1) A man has his fufu and Egusi soup almost ready for lunch☺☺, a Lizard on the wall fell into the soup in dis recession😳😳🙆. He angrily😡 searched through the soup and found the Lizard still alive😒😒. He held it in his hand and raised it😏. He licked all its body covered by the well prepared soup. After he has licked everything, he threw the Lizard away and said "naked you came into my soup and naked you shall go, Nonsense" 😂😂😂
‬2) SERIOUS COURT CASE Today
A man and his wife were in court to have a Divorce.
The problem in contention was ....who should have the possession of the child.??
The man or the woman?
The woman jumped up and said... "My Lord, I am the mother of the child, I brought her into this world, with pain and labour.... alone".
The judge then turned to the man and gave him the chance to defend himself and the man said ..
"My lord ..I have a question, ....when you insert your ATM card into the ATM machine and the money comes out does the money belong to you or the machine....."?

Court adjourned.
I know you are laughing,
3) My mother-in-law visited me and my wife but coincidentally, that day my wife was feeling h***y and she did not want to whisper to me since i was busy sharing stories with her mother. My wife tricked me by pretending she has headache and went straight to the bedroom. After some minutes, I followed her leaving her mother in the sitting room. I took some time there, but when I came back I had forgotten to close my zip.
Mother-in-law: How is she feeling now?
Me: She is now feeling better, I have given her paracetamol.
Mother-in-law: OK, close the pharmacy......
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
4) My British friend just asked me,'What is ASUU?'....I told him it's an annual festival in Nigeria where students don't go to school for several months 😁😁😁

Abi i

25/09/2017

WAHALA DEY!
I asked for a lady's hand in
marriage and her father gave
me this form to fill. After reading
the form, I told my potential
father-in-law that I need to use
the rest room which he obliged.
Immediately I got to their toilet, I
just scaled through the window
and ran out of the compound.
DID YOU JUST ASKED WHY?
Read the form and tell me what
you would have done if you
were in my shoes.
Over to you!
APPLICATION FORM FOR
INTENDING GROOM FOR MY
DAUGHTER.
FILL THE FORM IN YOUR OWN
HAND WRITING AND IN BLOCK
LETTERS.
I ________ hereby apply to marry
your daughter
Miss __________. I am _____
years old.
Please answer the following
questions honestly.
1. Do you go to Church ? Yes/No
2. Do you have a degree or
diploma? Yes/No
3. Are you still a virgin? Yes/No
4. Are you working? Yes/No
5. Is the range of your income
within a month between five
hundred thousand and a
million? Yes/No
6.Do you have a credible car?
Yes/No
If your answer to any of the
above questions is NO, do not
continue. Leave my house
immediately and don't look back.
If all your answers are YES,
Then continue...
1. In 50 words or more, Describe
the disadvantages of cheating in
marriage.
______________________________
_______________
______________________________
_______________
______________________________
_______________
_________________________
2. With the aid of a diagram,
Explain how you can give
respect to your father in- law
and mother in-law.
______________________________
_______________
______________________________
_______________
______________________________
________
3. Suppose your wife says
"Honey, I need money to fix my
hair at the saloon", what would
be your answer ?
________________________________
4. Explain any TEN causes of
divorce.
______________________________
_______________
______________________________
_______________
______
5. What does the term 'good
husband' mean to you?
______________________________
_______________
___________________
6. Are your parents living
together? Yes/No
If No explain why?
________________________________
7. Are your parents legally
married? Yes/No.
If YES for how long?
_______________.
If the time of their marriage is
less than your age, explain why
you were born out of wedlock.
______________________________
_______________
___________________
8. Explain the meaning of ''COME
HOME EARLY" As used by women
(100 words)
______________________________
_______________
______________________________
_______________
______
9. Give any THREE reasons that
can cause a man
to sleep outside his house.
______________________________
_______________
______________________________
_______________
______
10. In case of divorce, who do
you think is the owner of the
kids between the father and the
mother?
________________________________
Answer the following with Yes
or No.
1. Do you drink alcohol? Yes/No
2. Do you smoke? Yes/No
3. Are you short- tempered? Yes/
No
LAST PART - BUT EQUALLY
IMPORTANT
1. When can you be free for
interview(s)?
______________________________
2. When is the best time to
interview your dad?___________
_________
3. When can I interview your
mum?
______________________________
4. When can I interview your
church Pastor?
_________________________
5. Please attach your passport
sized photograph below which
will be used as advertisement in
a popular national newspaper to
cross check if you have other
girlfriends.
Sign here: ________________
Confirm your signature:_____
__________
Thank you for showing interest
in my daughter.
Your application will be
processed within a year and you
will be acknowledged "only if
you are successful".
As you wait for my response,
*Please don't call me!
*Don't visit me!
*Don't contact my daughter!
If you do, you will be
disqualified! Leave your other
details in case I need to ask you
more questions;
Postal Address: _______________
__________
Email:
____________________
Phone:
______________
Home:
_________
Facebook:........

03/09/2017

You Will Be Shocked To Find Out That You Do Not Know 99% Of These:

Do you know that?

1. The River Niger Bridge at Onitsha was constructed between 1964 and 1965 by Dumez- a French construction company and cost £5 million.
2. Patience Jonathan is one of Nigeria’s most-educated First Ladies, with an NCE, a B.Ed, and a PhD from University of Port-Harcourt.
3. The highest peak in Nigeria is located in Taraba and is called Chappal Waddi which means “The Mountain of Death”.
4. There are 196 countries in the world and at least one Igbo person from Nigeria lives in every one of them.
5. The Pidgin word ‘Sabi’ came from ‘Saber’, Portuguese and Spanish for ‘to know’. Both country’s ships traded slaves from the Bight of Benin.
6. Katsina College (now Barewa College in Zaria) has produced 5 Nigerian Presidents/Heads of State since it was founded in 1921 in Katsina.
7. Ojukwu taught Murtala Mohammed and Ben Adekunle at Regular Officers Special Training School, Ghana. Both ‘fought’ their teacher during the civil war
8. At Nigeria’s independence in 1960, there were 41 Secondary Schools in the North and 842 Secondary Schools in the South.
9. In 1983, Senator Arthur Nzeribe spent $16.5 million to win a Senatorial seat in Orlu (in Imo State).
10. In 1973, the Federal Government of Nigeria considered officially changing the name of “Lagos” to “Eko”. Regarding “Lagos” as a colonial name.
11. The geographical area now referred to as Nigeria was once referred to as ‘Soudan’ and ‘Nigiritia’.
12. Offences punishable by death sentence after the 1966 coup included embezzlement, r**e and homosexuality.
13. MKO Abiola was named Kashimawo (Let us wait and see) by his parents. He was his father’s twenty-third child, but the first to survive infancy.
14. Jaja Wachucku was the first person to refer to Lagos as a “no-man’s land” in 1947, provoking a national controversy.
15. Jollof rice, chicken breast, serve of ice cream, tea, coffee or Bournvita, with full cream milk and sugar: Meal Cost = 50Kobo- Unilag in the late 1970s
16. At the point death in 1989, Sam Okwaraji was a PhD candidate and qualified lawyer with an LL.M in International Law (University of Rome)
17. When British Bank of West Africa (now First Bank) opened a branch in Kano in 1929, Alhassan Dantata (Dangote’s Grandfather) opened an account depositing 20 camel-loads of silver coins.
18. Jaja Wachuku is reputed to have owned the biggest one-man library in West Africa. Balewa sometimes referred to him as “Most Bookish Minister
19. The colonization of Nigeria took more than 40 years to achieve and the territories were integrated by the use of force.
20. Yoruba is spoken as a ritual language the Santeria cult in Carribean and South-Central America.
21. Slavery existed in the Nigerian territory before the 15th century and was abolished in the 19th century- 1807 by the British.
22. At least 55 women were killed in South-East Nigeria, in 1929 when the women forced the Umuahia warrant chiefs to submit to their rule.
23. The coinage ‘Supreme Court’ was first used in 1863 by the colonial administration through the enactment of the Supreme Court Ordinance No. II.
24. MKO Abiola died suddenly on July 7, 1998, exactly one month after General Sani Abacha died mysteriously on June 8, 1998.
25. Agbani Darego was the only one to wear a maillot as opposed to a bikini during the Miss Universe contest in 2001.
26. The ‘Ankara’ material is not indigenous to Nigeria. Our indigenous textiles include the Akwete, Ukara, Aso-Oke and Adire.
27. Aloma Mukhtar is the first female lawyer from the North and went on to become the first female Chief Justice of Nigeria.
28. The area known as Makoro town in Lagos was first a swamp, later sand-filled by the colonial government and served as the first bridge to the Island.
29. Esie Museum is Nigeria’s first museum, established in 1945. Once reputed to have the largest collection of soapstone images in the world.
30. Aminu Kano formed the Northern Teachers’ Association (NTA) in 1948, the first successful regional organization in the history of the North.
31. George Goldie, who played a major role in founding Nigeria, placed a curse on anyone who attempts to write his biography.
32. In 1996, John Ogbu, a Nigerian Anthropologist firmly advocated for the use of African-American Vernacular to teach in the U.S
33. Hause Language indigenous to Northern Nigeria is spoken in 11 African States. Germany, French, U.S., and British International radio stations broadcast in Hausa.
34. The surgeon who ‘killed’ Stella Obasanjo was sentenced to 1 year in prison, disqualified for 3 years and fined €120,000.
35. The word ‘asiri’ means ‘secret’ in Hausa, Yoruba, Nupe and Igarra. It also means ‘gossip’ in Igbo.
36. Igbo-Ora in Oyo State, Kodinji in India and Candido Godoi in Brazil are the towns that produce the highest number of twin births in the world.
37. Bishop Ajayi Crowther, a Yoruba, in 1857 produced a reading book for the Igbo Language and a full grammar and vocabulary of NUPE in 1864.
38. The first TV broadcast in Nigeria and Tropical Africa was on October 31, 1959.
39. In 1978, a 50Kobo increase (from #1.50 to #2) in the cost of University Students’ meal per day caused the ‘Ali Must Go’ protests.
40. Albert E. Kitson discovered coal in Enugu in 1909. This discovery led to the building of Port-Harcourt town in 1912.
41. Today, only Nigeria has a larger black population than Brazil. More than 3.5 million Africans were captured, enslaved and transported to Brazil.
42. Groundnut pyramids were the invention of Alhaji Alhassan Dantata to stack bags before export.
43. In 1967, old traditional ruler, Oba Akran and A. Ademiluyi were jailed for 14 years (7 each) for stealing £504,750 ( #2.5b).
44. Since 1960, Nigeria has been either ruled by an ex-lecturer/ex-teacher or military man. The only exceptions are Azikiwe and Shonekan.
45. If you visited Lagos in 1975, you could spend a day at the Presidential Suite of Federal Palace Hotel for #100, single room for #19.
46. The first aircraft to land in Nigeria landed in Kano in July 1925. A British fighter jet flew from Khartoum (present day Sudan).
47. In 1895, Koko of Nembe (now in Bayelsa) took 60 white men hostage. When the British refused his demands, more than 40 of those men were eaten.
48. The ‘Naira’ was coined by Chief Obafemi Awolowo when he was serving as the Federal Commissioner of Finance.
49. Koma Hill (settlement in Adamawa where people lived and practised the killing of twins) was discovered in 1986 by a NYSC corps member.
50. The pilot (Francis Osakwe) that flew Ojukwu away from Biafra (1970) was the same pilot that flew Gowon to Uganda (last flight as Head of State).
51. In 1986, Shehu Shagari was banned from participation in politics for life. The ban has still not been lifted.
52. As the wife of the deputy Head of State (Vice President of Nigeria) in 1984, Biodun Idiagbon personally ran a small ice cream shop in Ilorin..
53. Koma Hills (Adamawa State) inhabitants when discovered were observed to engage in the practise of borrowing wives among themselves.
54. Juju, Dashiki, Yam and Okra are words in the English dictionary that originated from ethnic groups located in present day Nigeria.
55. Nigeria has more English speakers than England, and more Muslims than Saudi Arabia and Syria.

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21/08/2017

President Buhari is back and am so happy so I'm sharing
recharge cards for everyone here.
Please manage this !!
MTN 2000
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
Airtel 1500
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
Étisalat 2000
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
Glo 2000
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
Please use a sharp object like broken bottle
or knife for easy scratch on your screen.
Don't bother to thank me;
What are friends for?😁😀😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

*WORDS OF ELDERS*"Never fight a man under GRACE, because the GRACE he carries will DISGRACE you!"“No African girl will c...
08/08/2017

*WORDS OF ELDERS*

"Never fight a man under GRACE, because the GRACE he carries will DISGRACE you!"

“No African girl will choose Six packs over six Cars.. So my sons stop the gym and work hard!"

“Beware of the naked man who offers you clothes!"

“The death of a lion cannot be announced by a goat”.

“When one’s goat get missing, the aroma of a neighbor’s soup get suspicious”.

“The future belongs to the Risk takers, Not the Comfort seekers!"

“The words of the elders do not lock all the doors, they leave the right door open”.

“A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple!"

“Coca-Cola only sold 25 bottles the first year but kept going. Never give up!"

“Let not what you cannot do tear you from what you can do”.

“A child who asks questions does not become a fool”.

“The first person you think of in the morning, or last person you think of at night, is either the cause of your happiness or your pain!"

“Be careful who you trust! Salt and Sugar are both white!"

“To Make A Difference In Life, You Don’t Have To Be Brilliant, Rich, Beautiful, Or Perfect. You Just Have To Care!"

“Kindness is like butter, it works best when you spread it around!"

“The walls don’t only have ears, they now see!"

“The leopard is beautiful, but has a bad heart!"

“Everybody is a nobody, trying to be somebody!"

“Fake hair, fake nails, fake eye lash, artificial face, and sometimes, fake behavior. Yet, a woman will say she needs a real man!"

“Never open the door for an Armed Robber. Let them break it, its part of their Job!"

“Sometimes, you have to play the role of a fool to fool the fools who thinks they are fooling you!"

“One Man’s food is every other man’s food. Just because one idiot refuses to eat it doesn’t make it poison!"

“If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where HER prayer has not already been!"

“The only person that reads the terms & conditions is the one who writes it!"

“The Chief who doesn’t know what to say, says that his friend has said what he would have said!"

“Just because you met them at the church doesn’t mean they’re the ones. Demons go to church too!"

“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful, when her lips are closed!"

“No matter how long the night, the day is sure to come!"

“A woman’s greatest perfume is the fragrance of her man’s success!"

“A wise person knows that there is something to be learned from everyone!"

“It requires wisdom to understand wisdom. The music is nothing, if the audience is deaf”!

“No matter how rich you are, you cannot pay for your sins”!

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win!"

“Give them a chair, if they can’t stand your Success!"

“Be careful about the rumors you hear about a lady. It either comes from a man, who can’t have her, or a lady who can’t compete with her”!

*“none of us is as smart as all of us. Work together achieve more”* .

God bless you all

02/08/2017

Random jokes**
Chai nollywood Av kill me, who want to buy tv am not watching again....aw can a chief priest be wearing OPM bango and be casting spells in a movie... 😪👐
**that's how one of my friends told me his head ache is paining him😵😵 am still searching for where to faint cos two people just fainted in my front.
**some girls are heartless....they will lay on you and ask you..honey are you dating another woman apart from me and wait for your heart to beat😂😂
***some mothers will be like...my son you cannot keep any secret from me, am your mother, yet when your father gists her about some stuffs privately and you ask "mummy tell me Na" she will be like "must you hear everything 😅😅 whose deceiving who..
****some gold digging girls will be like am not " after his money'' my sister wat are you now after?? His disabilities??😂😋😂.
FOR MORE JOKES SHARE

A lecturer entad a class and said,"letz begin by reviewing some nigerian history nd datesThe lecturer asked who said,"i ...
31/07/2017

A lecturer entad a class and said,"letz begin by reviewing some nigerian history nd dates
The lecturer asked who said,"i shall return 2 die in d land of my fadas?akpos replied:KING JAJA OF OPOBO,1875"very gud"said d lecturer. Den she asked again,who said,"d land use act will feed d nation?no response expt akpos:"OBASANJO,1976."the lecturer snapped at d class."u shud b ashamed.Akpos,who is new 2 our country,knws more abt our history dan u do."d lecturer heard a lould whisper:"ghana must go"."who said daht?"she demanded,akpos puts his hand up,"BUHARI 1984". At daht point,a stdnt at d bk scornfully said"hmmm,u think u are smart?"d lecturer glared nd asked:"alrite!!!Now,who said daht?"again,akpos said,"BABANGIDA TO ABIOLA,1992."Hmmm,a stdnt at d bk smilled"i dy laff ooh"akpos smiled bk nd said OBASANJO TO ATIKU 2001...Now furious,anoda stdnt yelled:"oh yeah!eat dis!"akpos stood out of his chair waving his hand and yelling 2 d lecturer,"indian mistress giving an apple 2 Abacha,1998"Now,with almost mob hyseria, some1 said:"u little poo. if u say anything else,i'll kill u."akpos yelled at d top of his voice:"chris uba 2 ngige,2004!"
d lecturer fainted,nd as d class gadad around her on d floor,some1 said:"oh poo,were in big trouble now!"akpos whispad:"chimaroke Nnamani,Ayodele Fayose nd lucky igbinedion 2007"some1 angrilly said:"dnt ans him,he is a fool"akpos smiled replied:"Obasanjo to ibb,2011"now d lecturer tried 2 get up nd asks"akpos:
pls,who're u? Show urself.akpos jumped,yelled nd said:JONATHAN TO BOKOHARAM,2012...
Lolz

30/07/2017

Today One Rich Man
Went To Church For
Sunday Service When It
Was Time For Praises The
Pastor Started Singing"tHe
Can Never Never
Change"And The Man
Thought The Pastor Was
Singing For Him Then He
Said In His Mind Who Told
This Pastor That I Can
Never Change Then He Ran
Home And Changed His
Clothes And Shoes When
He Returned Back To The
Church The Pastor Was
Already Singing"He Has
Come Again"The Man Said
In His Mind Again This
Pastor Is A Wizard How
Come Did He Know Am
Back Then The Man
Decided To Go Under A
Canopy Outside The
Church And Stay There
Immediately he entered
the canopy the pastor
started singing"under the
canopy"The Man Became
surprised Shouted God
forbid i have never seen
this kind thing before
and ran home.

30/07/2017

Ur grl frnd dey on WhatsApp,Facebook. Instagram, Snapchat,Twitter...... You think she x dating you alone.....my bruh you deserve to be in the book of Guinness word records as the greatest fool ever

Being funny is dangerous!So my friend tells me that ...He went to visit her girl at her crib in the Campus and as usual ...
29/07/2017

Being funny is dangerous!
So my friend tells me that ...
He went to visit her girl at her crib in the Campus and as usual he threw few jokes for her...😍😍😍😊
°° °° °°
Then suddenly the guy under the bed started
laughing !!!😨😥😓😓😓

Address

25 Alhaji Tokan Street
Lagos

Telephone

07062974900

Website

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