Fs makes u laugh

23/10/2019

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09/09/2018

Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter" father: "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later ...
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter!" Father: "That's great son. Who is she?" Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that.Angela is also your sister."

This went on couple of times and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying. Son: "Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says: "My love, you can date whoever you want. Dont listen to him He isn't your father.". Pls don't forget to like and share

16/04/2018

A C.R.S Teacher entered
the
class and she said anybody
who can answer her question, will be
given
10000. All the student were Happy and they are set to answer
the
question.
Teacher: How many people did Jesus fed
with bread and fish (Nobody
raised their hand except Akpos) Teacher: Yes Akpos give us the answer
Akpos: 5000 people ma
Teacher: Clap for him ( Everyone clapped
as
Akpos receives the money
from his teacher.) Teacher: Akpos, ask me any question
and if I
get the question right, I
will have the my money back. All the student
were sad because there is no
question they can ask their Teacher and she
won't answer.
Akpos: (cleared his throat). Aunty, give
me
the Names of the 5000
people Jesus fed with bread and fish. One word for akpos wise or f00l? pls don't forget to like our page

06/04/2018

I have been tricking bike men all my life just
because my house is very close to a cemetery.
Once i climb the bike i will stuff cotton wool in
my nose and when we get to the front of the
cemetery the bike man will have no choice but to
run for his dear life. On this fateful day i climbed
an Aboki man bike as usual I stuffed the cotton
wool in my nose after getting to the cemetery to
my surprise the aboki man did not run , i sing all
the ghost song wey i know finished, dance all the
ghost dance the guy no even move infact I even
vex for the guy, you no day fear ghost , the man
was like give me my money jhoo, i then said oya
follow me into the cemetery and the bike man
came down follow me into the cemetery, I was
shocked!!!well as a sharp guy naa I walked to a
grave knocked on it and say BROS ABEG YOU GET
200 NAIRE THERE GIVE ME MAKE I GIVE THIS
STUBBORN BIKE MAN and a hand bust out
holding 200 naire and said NA MY LAST CARD BE
THiS MAKE SURE YOU RETURN AM OO. My
brothers and sisters till now I no even know who
carry first between me and the bike man and I
still use to see one leg of my Gucci shoe i
dropped while running whenever am passing there
it's not that I can't go and pick it ooo just that I
don't like Gucci product again infact i don't even
like shoe's again.

02/04/2018

Random Jokes
1. Happiness is when you are in church with your
landlord sitting next to each other and then pastor
says,
"look at your neighbour and tell him that Jesus has
paid my debts!!!" Hallelujah......
2. If you think money is the only thing that changes
people,You haven't come across the person in
charge of food and drinks at a ceremony
3. I was passing through a department in a psychiatrist
hospital
when i saw them giving a mad man shawarma and ice
cream as lunch abeg who knows any medicine
that can make someone Mad
4. A girl will snap 7 pictures, delete 6 and then stare at the
last one till it gets ugly.........
My dear it is u, ur body and ur soul whether u like it or not
5. Nigeria police be like
OH!!!!!! You think you have all the
receipt abi?
ahah hha!
Oya!! Where is the receipt of all your receipt
6. How can you say if Nollywood start doing season film
that they'll use 15 episodes out of 20 episodes as
advertisement.
7. An ibadan boy will b lik "My name is segun ogunalade, i
want to wish my daddy, mummy, baba and mama, my
uncles and aunties i want to wish dem a merit kirismas nd a
fosforus new year.......
Ok isorite
8. Heart break is nt when ur love leaves
you.......
Heart break: is wen ur newly wedded wife is in
the
kitchen preparing dinner and she ask
"honey how many maggi should i put in the
pounded
yam??"
9. (phone call)
Boy :hello
Girl :hello pls who is dis???
Boy :its james the one u gave ur number yesterday at d
super market.
Girl : oh.... Hi
Boy : hi how are u??
Girl :am fine ooo.
Boy :so have u eaten???
Girl :yes
Boy :so wat did u eat???
Girl : pls stop asking me stupid question and ask reasonable
question mtcheeew....
Boy : oh sorry alright wats d botanical name for plantain??
And wat is d volume of a pyramid???
Girl :emmmm sorry u were asking of wat i eat, i eat fried
rice.......
10. Are u beautiful, photogenic, skinny or slim,do u ave all it
takes 2 b a model?
If yes pls find sometin 2 eat b4 u die of ulcer
11. A pastor was praying for a demon-possessed man. He
said, in the name of Jesus, what do u want frm this Man?
speak up before I cast u out this moment! The demon in the
man said, I want him to win the American Lottery Draw
worth $200billion tonight. The pastor lowered the
microphone and whispered; get out of him and enter into me
now.
12. What is love?
Love is when your husband catches you with another man
naked and still say "honey, dress up, let's go home.
What is death?​
Death is when you follow him
13. Some Nigerian parents use to write
BEWARE OF DOGS on their gate when their Daughter is
18-22yrs!!!
But when she is 30yrs nd not yet married,They will change
it to ICE BLOCK IS SOLD Here.
14. Nigerian film wee nur keeh me oh...wich wan is
AM I UR REAL BIOLOGICAL FATHER ??
Oh,so fake biological father dy
15. Just Because You Came To My House And You Saw
Cobwebs, You Concluded I'm Dirty.Do You Know If I'm
Related To Spiderman
16. U went 2 his house
And his frds re leaving d room 1 by 1
Sister run
I repeat leave ur slippers and run
If possible jump fence
Don't ask any question jst obey
17. I just remembered In those days, I once won a girl's
heart with a bottle of cold sprite & 2 buns but today....
Anyway, make I chop first. I dey come
18. One aboki just called me, I told him is a wrong
number......The aboki called me back and asked if I have
the correct number… why na??
Life have tire me since then
19. Naija policemen will be like this when they see u
"hey, why are u wearing singlet in this cold weather, cold
will now enter ur body, u will now b looking for another
person daughter to sleep with!!. U are arrested for
attempted r**e in advance, enter the motor!"
20. Witchcraft is when yu qet a voice note from ur
crush...yu den qo round the whole hauz lookinq fr earpiece
or headphones to hear it...jus fr yu to open d voice note nd
hear "yhu are nt my type"
21. When u ask a girl how she is and she replies "I'm not
fine "
My brother logout, switch off ur phone and remove the
battery
22. I thought I've seen it all in
Nigerian movies until I saw nepa poles in evil forest
abi, the ghost dey charge
their phones....
23. With MAGGI ,every # woman is a star
With
# w**d ,every man is a
What...?
24. Dating a church girl is cool until you tell her "Baby open
it" and she replies "What verse?
25. Today was my first day of entering a Court. The Judge
Shouted " Order, Order !!" I Was so excited , So I shouted
Back " fried rice with chicken, two bottles of coke and one
cup of matice ice cream.” Am now locked up in a dark
room.*
*Excuse me, Are they bringing me the food or not? *
26. It's hard to bewitch African gals these days.
Every time you take a piece from her hair to the
witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman
gets mad or a factory in China catches fire
27. There is nothing we won't see in Traffic.
Biko Which one again be "Buy your sweet recharge
card to call your sweetheart" chinekeme dere is Notin we
won't c in Nigeria
28. Some girls only know how to slay
on pictures....
Let them cook beans for you.
Believe me you'll find all the stones David used on Goliath
Comma beat me am in my hux
29. I saved a life today on my way home. I asked a beggar
how will he feel if l give him #10,000 ?
He replied "Oga, during this recession, I Go die,"
So l kept my money. Thank God I've saved a life!
30. So because your mother has counted the meat in the
pot of soup, you are now using your teeth to slimfit them?
Oga Tailor Wehdone. please don't forget to like my page and share my post

01/04/2018

I ran into a church carrying a brand new knife. and asked,
"Who is a christian here?" The whole Church
went as silent as a
grave yard. I asked again, "How can a full
Church have no christian?". No one replied. Then
I grabbed
the nearby young man and went out with him
and told
him, "Come and help me kill my chicken for
Easter
because I don't know how to do it". After the
young man had killed the Chicken,
� he told me
that he didn't
know how to skin it and that I should go back
to the Church and get someone else to help me .
I
returned to the church with the knife again
dripping with blood . When the Pastor saw me in
the church with blood dripping from my knife,
he
immediately
shouted, "My Brothers in islam, Sollu Ala nabbiy
kareem �����
The whole church responded Sala llahu alayhi
wasalam.!!!
�

01/04/2018

Two of my friends came visiting
with their gf's and
we decided 2 go out on a picnic,
along with my little brother.
After packing food and all we
needed, we set off to a quiet
beach.
After chatting and taking pictures for few
minutes, we decided to eat and
begun to unpack the basket which had the food
in it, only for us to
discover we forgot the spoons at home.
I told my little brother to go get it while we wait.
He replied saying
''I know u want to trick me so you can eat the
whole food b4 I come
back''.
I promised him we would
wait for his return but he refused.
After much persuasion and
promises, he decided to go.
My friends and I started chatting and gisting to
while away time and wait for my brother's
arrival.
After 1hr, there was no sign of
him. 2hrs went by, and I began
wondering what could have delayed him
because the distance between
our house and the beach can be covered within
30mins.
My friends and I were already
getting hungry but we decided to
wait a little longer for my
Brother's return.
After 4hrs, the hunger was so unbearable that
we decided to taste
the food.
As we were about tasting,
we heard a rumble in a nearby
bush and there, my brother
Jumped out from behind a tree
shouting *"I said it, I knew you would eat the food before I return,
I'M NOT GOING AGAIN".
Fada lord!!
I had to ask him again "nA joke Abi??"
He replied "I have been watching y'all. I'm not going Again.
Now, all my mind was saying was
"Kill him, kill him,
Biko, if u were in my shoes, what would you have done to your brother

27/03/2018

LONG JOKES OF D DAY
1)10min ago i was bored so i called
the police
Me: Hello help, 335 people are
following me
Police: Calm down, where are you
Me: On instagram
Police: Idiot
2)that's how i mistakenly stepped on
a Yoruba girl
Yoruba girl: are u in Zain?
Me: no I'm in mtn
3) . Girls will never change at all..
Your boyfriend comes to visit you and
buy you "Suya" But because you're
angry with him you threw the "Suya"
into the waste bin in his presence....
He leaves angrily only to discover
that he has left his car keys at your
place and comes back to meet you
eating the "Suya"
Hahahaha
Lemme just faint!...just kukuma kee
MEE
give me space lemme faint..
4)Someone asked an old man: “Even
after 70 years, you still call your wife
Darling, Honey, Love." What’s the
secret?"
*Old man: I forgot her name and I’m
scared to ask her!*
5). Wife: I wish I was a newspaper. So
I’d be in your hands all day.
*Husband: I too wish that you were a
newspaper. So I could have a new
one every day!*.
6)A young boy asks his Dad: "What is
the difference between confident and
confidential?
*Dad says: "You are my son, I'm
confident about that. Your friend over
there, is also my son, that is
confidential!*
7) What's the difference between
stress, tension and panic?_
*Stress is when your wife is pregnant;*
*Tension is when your girlfriend is
pregnant;*
*Panic is when both are pregnant!*
8)Grammar Teacher: Do you know the
importance of a period?
*Rufus : Yeah, once my sister said she
has missed one, my mom fainted, dad
got a heart attack and our driver ran
away!* leaving me alone to watch
Tom and Jerry.... Lol
9)Boss : ekaette, now that madam has
gone
out, get this money, go to that
pharmacy, buy
a pack of condom and come to my
room for
s*x
ekaette :, ok oga
( after the show )
boss: ekaette, ure so sweet
ekaette : hmm oga, na so gate man
talk say i
sweet pass madam o
boss: what!!!and den he Fainted.
10)I was at the pharmacy earlier
today when a Drunkard entered the
shop and shouted, "give me a
Condom"..The Lady at the
counter asked him,"Cant you use a
decent language???
The Drunkard quickly unzipped his
trousers and placed his P***s on the
counter and asked......"Madam do you
have clothes for this Baby?". Beware
of 419..this house is not for sale..
11)Stolen Bicycle Akpos: My new
bicycle has been stolen. POLICE:
When did u notice? akpos: This
morning POLICE: Do you have a
suspect? akpos: Yes,my mum and dad.
POLICE: why do u suspect them?
akpos: yesterday at midnight i heard
mum say make it stand well so I can
seat on it very well ”and dad said
”climb up fast before it falls .and
mum said ”push slowly slowly dont
hurt me…… .police hahaha o boy na
senior bicycle be that ooo
12)*Guy: Doctor, My girlfriend is
pregnant but*
*we always use protection and the
rubber*
*never broke. How is it possible?*
*Doctor: Let me tell you a story:
"There was*
*once a Hunter who always carries a
Gun*
*wherever he goes. One day he took
his*
*umbrella instead of his Gun and
went out.*
*A Lion suddenly jumped in front of
him.*
*In order to scare the Lion, the
Hunter used*
*the umbrella like a Gun,and shot the
Lion, then it died!*
*Guy: Nonsense!! Someone else
must've*
*shot the Lion...*
*Doctor: Good!! You understood the
story.*
*Next patient please...*
13)A man met a lion in d bush, he
knelt down, closed his eyes & started
praying. When he opened his eyes, he
saw d lion kneeling in front of him &
was praying too. He was shocked. He
asked d lion "Are u a Christian"? The
lion replied "Mumu. Don't u pray b4 u
eat"? D man fainted.
14) Abeg na who stingy pass. 1.The
man who flashed to remind you to
call him back.
2. Your girlfriend you bought airtime
for and she ends up flashing you to
call her.
3. The friend you visited and you
perceived the aroma of Egusi Soup
from his kitchen and he is still telling
you that he is hungry and needs food
from you.
4. The man who has no money with
him and has walked for hours under
the hot sun and ends up picking
N5000 on the ground, but still
refused to enter a cab.
5. The man who is receiving N2
million a month and finds it difficult
to give God N50.
15)Abeg see Watin my stupid friend
dey tell... He said
Plz Clinton you know you are my best
friend just Advice in Wat to do o...
I Want 2 B Rich At All Cost.So,i Went
2 An Herbalist 4 Money Ritual Nd He
Says"the Best Way 4 Me 2 B Rich Is 2
Go To An Army Barrack Nd Slap A
Soldier.."
He Assured Dat If I Shuld Do Diz,i
Will B Richer Dan Dangote...
Abeg Watin I go tell am....
16)How Can Ur Girlfriend Pollute D
Air And U Say it smells nice???
Bro,u Must B Very Stupid O
17)quick...money.. Believe it worked
for me perfectly..
Make 1 Million Naira With Just 1k
Within 2 Days.No Referal Is
Required.No Stress!
All U Av 2 Do Is Just Send Ur
Name,address Nd fone Numba,so Dat
I Will 4ward It 2 D EFCC Bcos U Are
A Criminal....see you
18)Two Little boys stole a big bag of
oranges
from a neigbour & decided to go to a
quite
place to share the oranges equally.
One of them suggested the nearby
cemetery.
As the were jumping over the gate to
enter the
cemetery, two oranges fell out of the
big bag
but they didn’t bother to pick them
since they
had enough in the bag.
Few minutes later, a drunkard on his
way from
a bar, passed near the cemetery gate
& heard
a voice saying: “One For Me, One For
You,
One For Me, One For You”……………..
He immediately sobered up & ran as
fast as he
could to a church nearby for the
Priest……………
“Father, Please come with me, come &
witness
God & Satan sharing corpses at the
cemetery”……….
They both ran to the cemetery gate &
the voice
continued; “One For Me, One For You,
One For
Me, One For You”……………….
Suddenly, the voice stopped counting
& said: “What
about the two at the gate?”…………
You should see the
marathon………………
The Priest almost ran pass the church
gate shouting.. .. mummy!!!!!!
19) CHOI Abeg Can Someone Please
Help me Spell I.S Is FOR ME.. I DON
forget .... Wen monkey pox catch for
exam hall...
20)HOW TO KNOW IF U ARE INSANE!
1. U smile with a little laughter alone
just bcus u
are chating on social network. U AR
INSANE.
2. U gave #2000 to ur girlfriend yet u
went
to meet
ur mum to collect hundred naira for
recharge
card.
3. If u dey cook for ur boyfriend
and ur mother dey cook for u ,
u ar
insane.
4. If u dey call ur girlfriend trice a
day but u call ur
sister once a week, den u need
more dan a prayer.
5. If u buy bb, ipad or android tecno
for ur
girlfriend
or boyfriend and ur mum no get
phone @ all, u
are insane.
6. If u no dey comment when guys
post online but u dey
comment for ladies alone, u ar
partially insane....
7.If u spend more dan 12years in
school only to
tell me d@ u dont understand
mathematic, u
are insane..
8.If u read all wat i wrote now and u
dont leave
any comment to appreciate my
effort..... U are a... Don't worry m going oo...Pls don't forget to like and share

13/03/2018

You saw a T-shirt of K97, since you don't have cash you borrow K50 fromyour dad and K50 from your Mom.Now you have K100. You purchase aT-shirt for K97 and left with K3.00change. You return K1 to your dad and K1 to your mom and keep the K1for yourself. Now you owe your mom K49 and your dad K49. Addedtogether(K49+K49=K98) plus your K1=K99. Where is the missing K1???Please give me the answer. Ask around your fb friends. Pls don't forget to like, share,and comment

23/02/2018

Pls reduce ur stress this February.
People are really overworking these days!!!
An Okada man worked till 11:50pm last
night, on getting home he decided to take a
bath. He suddenly ran out naked
shouting................
Ghost Ghost Ghost.........
Narrating his story, he said he has poured
water on his head about 5 times & the
water was not touching his head.
On hearing this, his neighbours rushed out,
only to discover that the idiot did not
remove His helmet before having his bath.. Don't laugh alone try
to put a smile on someone's face and pls like and comment

19/02/2018

WHO MUMU PASS?
1. Hausa man who removed his shoes to enter a taxi
2. Igbo man who went to the bank with a spanner to open a
bank account
3. Yoruba man who went to bed with a ruler just to know
how
long he slept.
4. Tiv man who watched the news and waved at the
newscaster.
5. An Efik nurse who woke up a sleeping patient simply
because
she forgot to give him sleeping pills.
6. An Igala man who lowered his TV volume because he
wanted
to read a text message.
7. An Ikwere man who polished his shoes to take a passport
photo
8.An Isoko man who climbed a mango tree to check if the
mango was ripe enough then came down and started
throwing
stones at it
9. A fulani man who choose to drink fanta because he
thought
sprite was unripe.
10. A Gbagyi man who saw something like s**t, touched and
tasted then said "hmmmm"na s**t oo!!! thank God oh say I
no
march am.
11. An Idoma man who put his radio inside the refrigerator
because he wanted to listen to cool fm.....Pls don't forget to like and share

17/02/2018

POLICE SHA!
A policeman was checking the
assignment of his two sons.
He checked the senior child's
work and flogged him.
He turned to the junior child,
opened his notebook and
without saying a word,
walked away.
The older child ask the
younger one.
"U wey no sabi anything, why
papa no flog u?
The younger one replied: I put
N200 inside my notebook!
U forget say papa na
policeman. lolzzzzzzzzz
Apology to the Policemen in
the house it is just a joke. don't forget to like and share