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16/10/2014

Who sharp pass among these 2

A guy n his girlfriend went to commit su***de on top of
a 10 story building so dat God can officiate their
wedding in heaven. The plan was to jump off d building
at d same tym at the count of 3. So after the count the
guy jumped off but the girl didn't jump. She looked
back and said "though love is blind am not blind".She
den walked away. As d guy got to d air, he opened his
parachute and said " though am madly in love, but not
mad to die for love". The question is who cheated
between the 2 of dem? Pls be honest.

14/10/2014

********7 SIGNS A LADY WANT S*X DURING
VISIT•••••
=============== =============== ==
I will try as much as possible to
make this understandable
--------------- --------------- --
1. While in your room, if she tells you to close
the curtain that she
prefers the room to be in dark condition and
you close the curtain looking confuse and
you still don't get the message.
My brother, you are a bonafide dumb
Jambite at Secondary School Sat Level
--------------- --------------- --
2. When she tells you she's feeling heat
inside AC and you zoomed off
at Hussain Bolt pace to get her hand fan...
My brother make I nor deceive
you.
You are a dumb niqqa at OND Level
--------------- --------------- --
3. When you are both watching
an interesting movie and she tells you she's
not enjoying it at all and you inquired if she
wishes to watch another movie and she says
YES that you should put ### adult movie (blue
film)...
If you still don't grab her message...
You are a dumb niqqa at HND Level
--------------- --------------- --
4. If you summon the courage
to make a move and she ask you ''what do
you think you are doing?'
And you start looking like someone who just
got a sack letter...
You are a dumb niqqa at Bsc Level
--------------- --------------- --
5. As humorous as you are, if she had been
laughing at every of your jokes and you
noticed she suddenly stopped laughing even
as you try to crack ribs breaking jokes.
She starts staring at you and licking one of
her fingers...
If you still can't grab her message,
hmmmm my brother, you are a dumb niqqa
at Msc Level
--------------- --------------- --
6. If she keeps reminding you
every 2mins that she would be going soon
and you still don't grab the message...
My brother you are a dumb niqqa
at PhD Level
Lastly, if you finish reading this message and
you don't like, share and comment on this
write up, my brother, you are a certified
dumb niqqa at VC Level
********GOODMOR NING********

14/10/2014

PONDER ON THIS...
LADIES,
Don't think having s*x with a guy will
make him love you. You will only get
confused with your feelings. Learn to draw
the line between love and s*x. A man's
emotion is not connected with s*x but
yours is associated with your feelings. Men
can have s*x with many ladies without
having any feelings for any of them. But a
woman finds it difficult to let go of a man
who disvirgined her or whom she enjoys
s*x with.
GENTLEMEN,
Don't pressure ladies for s*x when you are
not ready to take up its responsibility.
Being a man is not about how many ladies
you have slept with, it is more of how
many ladies you've helped to become
better. Not by making them a mother by
circumstance, abort a pregnancy or
delaying their progress in life. But by
bringing out the best in their career,
ambitions or virtues in life. I hope those
who need to know these would learn.
Thank you.

13/10/2014

AKPORS and a white guy
were sitting in the park,
the
white man had a pet
monkey and AKPORS is selling
bananas, AKPORS said
‘Mr. Can u look after my
bananas, i’m
goin to the
toilet”,” Yeah sure, go ahead” said
the white
man.
When AKPORS came he
found his bananas has
gone and
asked “where are my bananas”
the
white man
pointed to the monkey
and
said “ask ur
brother” ,AKPORS chilled and sat
down. Few minutes
later the
white man ask”can u
watch my
monkey I’m going to the
toilet” ,”oh yeah sure!”
said
AKPORS. When the
white man came back
he found his monkey dead
and
exclaim “what
happened here?”
AKPORS replied ”
don’t get involved pls , it’s a family
matter”

Lols, one word for Akpos.....

13/10/2014

20 Ways to Make a Girl Smile

1. Tell her she's BEAUTIFUL. Not hot or Sexy.
2. Hold her hand, just because you love her.
3. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
4. Wrestle with her, and let her win.
5. Hug her from behind.
6. Don't hang out with your ex when she's not around. It kills her inside.
7. If you talk to another girl, walkover to her after you're done and kiss her.
8. Write her notes ...or call her just to say I love you.
9. Introduce her to your friends, as your girlfriend.
10. Play with her hair.
11. Pick her up, even when she says no.
12. Get upset if she gets unwanted contact from someone else.
13. Make her laugh,just because you love to see her smile.
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms.
15. If she's mad at you, kiss her,don't fight back.
16. If you care about her, tell her,or else she won't come back.
17. Every girl should receive three presents from her guy: a teddy bear(she'll hug it when she goes to sleep),jewelry (she'll treasure it forever), and one of your shirts (she'll wear it to bed).
18.Treat her the same with your friends as when you are alone.
19. Look her in the eyes and give her your best smile.
20. Hang out with her on the weekends,because she's important to you

10/10/2014

A girl was very proud of her
boy friend, she
always tell her
friends how good her boy
friend is.
On the day of her birthday, she
invited all her
friends including
her boy friend who happends
to be the
special guest of
honour.
Everybody brought their gifts
to the girl and
was waiting for
the arrival of the girl's boy
friend who
promised to bring a
very nice gift for his girl.
As everybody was waiting,
behold! The boy
was coming with
a gift which was inside a poly
bag.
The girl was very happy at the
arrival of his
boy friend and
was ready to see the gift that
he brought to
her.
Do you know what happend?
The boy just opend the poly
bag in front of
all the guest's
and invitees.
And he brought out a loaf of
bread.
And said to the girl..."take this
bread, thats
what i broght for
you as your birthday gift"
The girl got angry immediaty
and was highly
disappointed at
her boy friend.
She grab the bread and threw
it away with
anger.
The boy friend also got
disappointed and he
rushed and pick
up the bread.
He opend the bread in front of
his girl friend,
behold!!!....th ere
was a car key and an
engagement ring
inside the bread.
When the girl noticed that......
She beggan to
beg, but then, it
was too late for her.
Moral: always learn how to
appriciat things,
weather big or
small.
Prayer: i pray that your mistake
will never
take away your
favour, before the end of the
year, God must
surely surprise
you with a miracle.
Good morning A girl was very proud of her
boy friend, she
always tell her
friends how good her boy
friend is.
On the day of her birthday, she
invited all her
friends including
her boy friend who happends
to be the
special guest of
honour.
Everybody brought their gifts
to the girl and
was waiting for
the arrival of the girl's boy
friend who
promised to bring a
very nice gift for his girl.
As everybody was waiting,
behold! The boy
was coming with
a gift which was inside a poly
bag.
The girl was very happy at the
arrival of his
boy friend and
was ready to see the gift that
he brought to
her.
Do you know what happend?
The boy just opend the poly
bag in front of
all the guest's
and invitees.
And he brought out a loaf of
bread.
And said to the girl..."take this
bread, thats
what i broght for
you as your birthday gift"
The girl got angry immediaty
and was highly
disappointed at
her boy friend.
She grab the bread and threw
it away with
anger.
The boy friend also got
disappointed and he
rushed and pick
up the bread.
He opend the bread in front of
his girl friend,
behold!!!....th ere
was a car key and an
engagement ring
inside the bread.
When the girl noticed that......
She beggan to
beg, but then, it
was too late for her.
Moral: always learn how to
appriciat things,
weather big or
small.
Prayer: i pray that your mistake
will never
take away your
favour, before the end of the
year, God must
surely surprise
you with a miracle.
Good evening pals!

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