Evandarl-Coaching, Umuahia (2026)

24/04/2023

LEADERSHIP MONDAY

STOP PURSUING CHEAP DOPAMINE, REINVENT YOURSELF.

This post was inspired by a post from KOK.

Today's modern world is filled with people who are constantly pursuing instant gratification in order to feel good. From checking social media to binge-watching TV shows, we have become accustomed to the rush of dopamine that comes with consuming copious amounts of stimuli in a short period of time.
While these cheap dopamine hits may temporarily satisfy our cravings, they do not contribute to personal growth or fulfillment in the long run.

The pursuit of cheap dopamine(a feel good hormone) can lead to a lack of direction and stagnation in life. We get caught in the cycle of immediate pleasure, leading us to neglect our goals and passions.

It's time to break free from this vicious cycle and reinvent ourselves in ways that will lead to long-term satisfaction and success.

To start, it's important to take a step back and assess our priorities. Are we spending our time and energy on activities that contribute to our personal growth and well-being? Or are we simply indulging in the fleeting satisfaction of instant gratification?

Once we identify the areas in our life that need improvement, we can make a plan to reinvent ourselves and create a path towards fulfillment.

Reinvention can take many forms; it may involve exploring new hobbies or career path, or even making significant changes to our daily routines. The important thing is to take intentional action towards our goals and make choices that will lead us towards long-term happiness rather than short-term pleasure.

Breaking away from the pursuit of cheap dopamine requires discipline and patience. It may be tempting to revert back to old habits when faced with boredom or discomfort, but it's important to remind ourselves of our end goal and stay committed to our reinvention journey. It's also important to embrace failure and learn from it rather than letting setbacks discourage us from our pursuits.

As we reinvent ourselves and break free from cheap dopamine, we will find that our lives become more meaningful and fulfilling. We will have a greater sense of direction and purpose, which will motivate us to continue pursuing our goals.

So let's prioritize personal growth and take intentional action towards reinventing ourselves because the rewards are well worth the effort.

E go be!

Darlington E Chimezie writes!

18/04/2023

Female c̶i̶r̶c̶u̶m̶c̶i̶s̶i̶o̶n̶ mutilation

I promised sometime ago to do an article in the sexual implications of females ge***al mutilation.

We live in a world where women are treated less and mostly objectified. A world where it's presumed that everything should revolve around men, a world where women are expected to have no feelings but should only respond to the feelings and advances of men.

A lady is not respected in so many marriages for being the one to initiate s3x, so, it's believed to reduce the rate of infidelity from a lady, her clitoriß or l***a(minora or majora)should be removed.

Let's look at Female Ge***al mutilation (FGM)

Female ge***al mutilation (FGM) is a practice that involves the partial or total removal of the external female ge***alia or any injury to the female ge***al organs for non-medical reasons(Emphasis on;for non-medical reason).

FGM is predominantly practiced in African and Middle Eastern countries and has no health benefits for girls and women, but rather causes short-term and long-term complications. One of the most significant sexual implications of FGM is the impact on female sexual function and pleasure.

FGM is believed to be rooted in cultural, religious, and social reasons. The practice is traditionally carried out by older women in the community or traditional practitioners, who are not medically trained, using crude, unsterilized instruments. FGM can involve the removal of the clitoriß, l***a majora, and minora, as well as stitching up the vaginal opening or narrowing it by creating a small opening, leaving only a small hole for menstrual blood and urine to pass through.

The removal or alteration of female ge***alia hinders sexual function by resulting in severe pain or discomfort during séx. The excision of the clitoriß, which is a primary sexual pleasure spot for women, causes long-term difficulties in achieving sexual arousal or or**sm. The narrowing of the vaginal opening also leads to discomfort during sexual in*******se, making it a painful and traumatic experience for women.

In addition to sexual dysfunction, FGM can cause long-term emotional and psychological trauma for women, leading to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. It also often leads to marital dissatisfaction and relationship problems.

Although FGM is illegal in many countries, the practice still persists in many societies, even here in Igbo land and many other parts of the country. Governments, international organizations, are actively fighting against FGM, and there have been some successes in reducing the prevalence of the practice. However, there is still much work to be done, and cultural attitudes towards gender equality, women's rights, and sexuality must change for FGM to be eradicated.

Women are humans with feelings and emotions and therefore must be empowered to speak out and challenge the practice to ensure that they enjoy fulfilled sexual and reproductive health rights.

Séx is a need and everyone has needs for it and total enjoyment of it when the time is right shouldn't be denied anyone.

E go be!

Darlington E Chimezie writes.

10/04/2023

STEPS TO CONQUERING PROCRASTINATION AND ACHIEVING MORE

♦️Set clear goals: Write down specific goals that you want to achieve, and make sure they are achievable and measurable.

♦️Prioritize tasks: Create a list of tasks in order of importance and tackle the most important ones first.

♦️Use the Pomodoro Technique: Work for 25 minutes, take a 5-minute break, and repeat. This technique helps you stay focused and motivated.

♦️Eliminate distractions: Turn off your phone, close your email, and avoid any other distractions that may prevent you from getting work done.

♦️Break tasks into smaller chunks: Large tasks can be overwhelming and may lead to procrastination. Breaking them down into smaller, more manageable tasks can make them less daunting.

♦️Hold yourself accountable: Set deadlines and hold yourself accountable for completing tasks within the timeframe set.

♦️Use positive affirmations: Tell yourself that you can do it and that you are capable of completing the task at hand. This can help boost your motivation and confidence.

♦️Get enough rest: Adequate rest is crucial for staying productive. Make sure to get enough sleep and take breaks throughout the day to recharge.

Be more productive.

E go be!

Darlington E Chimezie writes.

29/03/2023

RELATIONSHIP WEDNESDAY

THE ART OF COMPROMISE IN RELATIONSHIP

Compromise is an art that every couple must master if they want to make their relationship work. It is a vital aspect of any successful relationship, yet it is often overlooked.

Compromise requires the willingness of both partners to meet each other halfway, accepting differences and reaching an agreement that benefits both parties. It involves communication, understanding, and flexibility. While compromise can be challenging, it can also be empowering as it builds trust, opens the lines of communication, and strengthens the bond between couples.

The key to achieving a successful compromise is understanding both perspectives. It's important to listen actively and to acknowledge each other's feelings and opinions without judgment. Start by expressing your own feelings and expectations, and then allow your partner to do the same. Once you have a clear understanding of each other's perspective, you can begin to work towards finding a solution together.

Compromise requires being open to change and finding creative solutions that work for everyone. It's important to recognize that compromise does not mean sacrificing your own needs, but rather finding a way to meet them while also considering your partner's needs. For example, if you both want to go out for dinner, but you want Italian food and your partner wants Chinese, compromise might mean trying a fusion restaurant that offers both options.

Compromise is not always easy, especially when both parties are strongly opinionated. However, it is important to hold onto the shared value of the relationship and prioritize that over individual needs. Remember, a successful compromise is about finding the balance between mutual happiness and individual needs.

Of course, there will be times when compromise just isn't possible. In those cases, it's important to remember not to force a solution that doesn't work for either of you. In these situations, it might be necessary to agree to disagree respectfully, and move on to other areas where compromise is possible.

Ultimately, successful compromise requires effort, patience, and a willingness to work together. The art of compromise in relationships is not about always being right or always getting your way. It is about finding a way to work together to create a mutually fulfilling and happy relationship. By mastering the art of compromise, couples can build solid, lasting relationships that are built on understanding, respect, and compromise.

Don't be the lion of the tribe of your relationships, learn to adjust to make things work.

E go be!

Darlington E Chimezie

27/03/2023

LEADERSHIP MONDAY

DILIGENCE

Diligence, also known as persistence or perseverance, is a valuable trait that can help individuals achieve their goals and attain success in various aspects of life. Diligence is an essential tool that enables individuals to work consistently and persistently towards their goals, regardless of the obstacles or challenges that they may encounter.

Diligence is an important aspect of success, as it helps individuals to stay focused, disciplined and committed to their goals. It allows them to put in the necessary time, effort and hard work required to achieve their objectives. Diligence helps individuals to remain motivated, even during times of uncertainty, and to maintain a positive attitude, even in the face of adversity.

Successful individuals are often those who possess a strong sense of diligence. They are committed to achieving their goals and are willing to put in the necessary effort and work, regardless of the challenges that they may face. They persevere, even in the face of obstacles, setbacks, and failures. Their sense of diligence allows them to persist, even when things get tough, and to maintain a positive and optimistic outlook.

Diligence can be applied in various aspects of life, including personal and professional goals. For instance, it can help individuals to achieve success in their careers, by allowing them to work hard and stay focused on their goals, in order to achieve their desired level of success. Diligence can also be applied to personal goals, such as maintaining a healthy lifestyle, by adopting healthy habits, such as regular exercise and proper nutrition, and sticking to them consistently.

In order to develop a strong sense of diligence, individuals must be willing to put in the necessary effort and work towards their goals consistently. They must be proactive and take action, even when faced with challenges or setbacks. Diligence requires individuals to be disciplined and focused, to have a clear vision of their goals, and to remain motivated, even during times of difficulty.

Finally, diligence is an essential tool that can help individuals achieve success in various aspects of life. It allows individuals to remain focused, disciplined, and committed to their goals, regardless of the challenges or obstacles that they may encounter. Diligence enables individuals to persist, even in the face of adversity, and to maintain a positive and optimistic outlook. By applying diligence to their goals and objectives, individuals can achieve great success and accomplish incredible feats.

Do you see a man diligent in his business? He shall sit before kings and not mean men- Prov 22:29.

E go be!

Darlington E Chimezie writes.

17/03/2023

LESSONS FROM TOBY SHANG'S RISE TO FAME.

Have you heard that song; na we dey run this town?

That was a hype song created by the name above. This guy granted interview just this evening on HIP TV.

I decided to check out that channel and the interview got me glued till the end.

This guy was a student of Lagos State University, he started his growth as a hype artiste from his days in school. He said he got inspiration from a certain guy in his neighborhood when he was still a teenager, the first time going into the studio was with the guy who at the time, was way older than him and his friends. Whenever they recorded he was always the one to shout; yeah! Yeyeh! Com'on! Etc.

He never really sang, but would always hype others. Fast forward to his school days, he loved doing the hyping, but just for fun and not about the money.

After graduation, he sat down and asked himself which way to follow. He said he wanted to push the hype further. He begged for platforms, and very few would oblige him.

HIS BREAKTHROUGH

One day, Naira Marley was going to have an event, he had to go meet the people in charge and pleaded for at least 15mins to do the hype for Marley. He was told that there wasn't space for him, and they already hired a hype man. He insisted that he would just need 15mins when Naira Marley performed. After the long pleading, the organiser accepted, and decided to grant his request.

On the said date, he and his crew went to the event venue, and helped to arrange the place and set up the equipment for the show.

He went back to the hotel room, and dressed up for the event. He came back and fortunately for him, the hype man for the show didn't show up on time, he had more than four hours to entertain people.

Finally, the person paid to hype the show arrived, he handed over hyping to him. The paid hype man started and wowed the crowd. However, after about thirty minutes, the crowd started calling for him to take over. He came back and performed, and as he was performing, Naira Marley asked to know who he is.

At the end, Marley gave him his house address and invited over, and the rest became history.
He took him for shows, and had him perform alongside him. Platforms that weren't given to him when he pleaded, started calling and booking him for shows.

THE LESSONS!

❗FOLLOW YOUR PASSION: You may have many things you are good at, but there's this one that comes and happens to you without much preparation and effort. You see it happening seamlessly; that is your passion. Build on it, develop and hold on to it.

One of my sons wanted to study Electrical and Electronics Engineering, I looked at him and knew his passion does not in any way tilt towards Engineering, I advised him to study Music because that was and still is everything I see around him. Today, he is happy he took the advice.

❗DO EVERYTHING RIGHT TO BE NOTICED: Contrary to the popular opinion, there's nothing wrong in seeking platforms. Yes! You heard me rightly. Go out there, seek platforms, but seek it honourably. If they oblige you good, but if they don't, don't push it in a way that your prestige and pride would be deflated.

❗ DON'T RELAX ON PROMISE.
He was promised an opportunity to show his talent, but he had to be at the venue to help set up the event place. If you were the organiser, you will be left with no choice than to squeeze out time for him, even if you never wanted. Beyond promises, do things that would make it difficult for you to be ignored.

❗ GROW AS YOU WAIT.
Success is opportunity meeting preparations. While you wait for your external growth, grow internally. Sharpen your axe while waiting to be shown the tree to cut. A greatly sharpened axe will make a deep cut on the tree when it finally meets the tree. He developed his talent that Naira Marley was able to notice him.

❗ DON'T FOCUS ON MONEY FROM THE START.
Money moves in the direction of values. When you are able to create values, then people would be left with no option than to place value on you.
When, he started chilling with big boys, his value grew, but from start, he offered his services free of charge.
Never be tempted to place money over building values.

Do not work on having, but work on being, Because with what you become, you will have.

Focus on your passion, develop it, and watch yourself become a focus.

E go be!
Darlington E Chimezie writes!.

26/01/2023

The other day, I wrote on how I decided at all cost to cook my food myself. Many went about it in the most surprising manner.

I read comments like; are you sure you are planning to get married, go and get a wife, you need a wife, this will make you not to think of marriage, etc.

Even the ladies were echoing such sentiments. However, it doesn't come to me as a surprise many people don't know what they want, and they do not understand what family, relationship and marriage is really about.

To many, once a man is up to 28 and is seeing money, the next move should be to look for a wife. Sometimes, when I wash my clothes, someone will see me and the next is; you need a wife.

When they see me mopping my room, washing the bedsheets, they go; awwn! You are such a husband material,but you need a wife.

It gets irritating when I hear such. Do I need a wife because I want my clothes washed, my dishes done and my food cooked?

Those ain't the reason I need a wife. If at all I needed someone for all those, then I should get a domestic staff, at least I could pay the person to do those works.

Is my wife going to cook the food? Yes.
Is my wife going to do dishes? Yes.
Is my wife going to wash my clothes? Yes.
Are those primarily her duty? Yes.
Is that why she married me? No.

Am I going to marry simply because I needed someone to do those duties? No.

A man can do all those even when you have a wife. Your wife is not your slave, she deserves to be helped.

"I love my wife, you need to see how strong she is. She wakes up early prepares everything, get the family ready, sometimes she retired to bed late." If you see yourself saying this, then you need your head checked.

That woman is your wife, she is not your maid, even a maid deserves to be helped.

Stop claiming those alpha nansance. Alphaness is knowing the right things to do and doing them.
What is alphaness about suffering your wife?
Where is alphaness in being at home and waiting for your wife to come back before dinner is prepared?
What is alphaness about watching your wife wash clothes, do dishes, and only to come and sweep the sitting room where you have sat all day long seeing a football game?

Some are men just because they appear in the catalog of men.

Meanness and being unhelpful is not what makes an alpha male. An alpha male is one who is meek, helpful to the spouse and family, yet is still in charge.

Look at Peter Obi, he is soft and yet in charge. That is the definition of alphaness.

My friend go and wash those plates while she is doing other things. You won't die.

E go be!

Darlington E Chimezie writes.

25/01/2023

RELATIONSHIP WEDNESDAY

Dear lady, it's not compulsory to get married. Yes! Marriage is not for everyone. If you are too big to submit to a man, if you are too big to respect a man, if you are too big to understand that you are to play the second fiddle in the administration of your family, please stay unmarried.

If you are on your own, you can enjoy your singleness, you will live happily and no one will hold you accountable. You can go out and come back at anytime and no one will ask you where you you went to, or from whence you are coming.

If you however decided to get married, then know that you and the man can never share the same right. You and your husband are not equal. I have never seen any country that has two presidents, I have never seen any corporate organisation having two presidents at a time.

In marriage dear lady, you are below your husband, it's not dependent on any factor, provided you have decided to marry him, then you do not have a choice than to respect and submit to him.

If you find it difficult to do, please stay unmarried and no one will disturb you. Don't walk into someone's life only to start complicating issues.

Remember, marriage is not compulsory and definitely not for everyone.

E go be!

Darlington E Chimezie writes!

27/12/2022

We are getting to the 31st of December when all you will hear is sow a seed to become wealthy.

If you like don't think for yourselves. Did the one you sow last December make you wealthy?

Whoever is preaching to you to sow a seed before you become wealthy is lying to you. God cannot be cajoled into nonsense. You end up getting your pastor enriched, while suffering lack.

I believe in seed sowing, but, that is only when you are led.
Don't give anyone the room to emotionally blackmail you into parting with your money.

I'm a minister of the Gospel, but I will tell you the truth. They will come and preach themselves to you, wound up your emotions and call for seed faith.

For the records, by the grace of God I run a fellowship, and I move from Umuahia to Aba every Sunday to speak to them, but never have I used it as an avenue to milk my people.

I pursue genuinely my own money, and even help my people. This is so you know that I'm part of the system.

You pastor and your brainwashed self may not like this post, and many others ain't ready for this discussion.

At that point, please, do not take action, just stay calm, give it time, let the euphoria of the emotional alterations dissipate a bit, then ask yourself if you really want to sow the seed.

Remember, I preach and encourage people to sow seed, but please use your senses. Sow only when you are led. Some grounds ain't fertile.

E go be!

Darlington E Chimezie

22/11/2022

Some of you are being played in your relationships because you don't have economic power and you don't have anyone who does. So the man/woman in your life doesn't see values.
~Charles Awuzie

You may have to quit that relationship and pursue your economic deliverance first. An economically healthy person is an attractant to a lot of positive things including spouse.

If there's any battle you must joke with, may it not be your financial battles especially as a man.

Financial freedom will give you a resounding surname, it breaks doubts and pushes your dreams faster.

Your relationship will be much more yielding, and you can take the necessary steps you need to take as a man when the quids are available.

Hey!
Dear struggling single person, I think you have to withdraw the whole energy you put into that relationship if it is not contributing to your economic growth, and exert it on your financial journey.

May we get the financial height we seek!
Work! Work!! Work!!!

E go be!

Darlington E Chimezie

11/11/2022

LEADERSHIP

TAKE A BREAK!

Listen to this!

There are days when you want to stop believing.
There are days when you start doubting the possibilities of your beliefs.

There are days when you feel like to throw in the towel.
There are days when you feel like giving up.

It's not bad to doubt the possibilities of those convictions.
It is not catastrophic to want to give up.

It's not the end of the road to want to quit.

Hey!

It's normal to take a break, you can decide to leave everything and have sometime to refuel.

The tanker that supply fuels to the fueling station needs fuel to keep moving, it doesn't run on the fuel it is carrying.

When the journey becomes difficult, it is normal to take some time off.

It's normal to extend deadlines.

Never allow anyone mount unnecessary pressure on you.

Never allow any circumstance overwhelm you.

Break is not a sign of weakness, it can be an opportunity to reevaluate your strategy, redesign your plan and effect the ex*****on route.

Remember, when the jump bar is raised in the Olympics, the jumpers always move backwards for a great lift.

The essence of moving backwards to jump is to have enough power and opportunity to take a great leap.

Rest when you can!
Take a break when you can!

Change your strategy when it calls for it!

However, quitting should never be in the options!

E go be!

Darlington E Chimezie writes!

29/09/2022

Most women and jealousy are inseparable.
Even the one you ain't dating, just being close to you, would want to have the whole attention.

Knowing this, would help you as a guy set the boundaries from the beginning.

You may not mean a thing, but they understand it very differently.

Your partner may not complain, but she is pained. Read the many words in her silence.

E go be!

Evandarl

Evandarl-Coaching

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