30/04/2026
Her name was Arianne.
She was a good leader. Smart, committed, genuinely wanted the best for her team.
And she kept solving their problems.
It’s not exaclty that she was controlling. She cared for her team.
And that was the reason that when she saw her team struggle with something she knew the answer to ➤ she jumped in. Every time.
One morning she came to me.
"I did it again. The team was stuck on something. I know that topic well. So I stepped in and gave them the answer. Nobody said anything. They just looked at me and continued."
She paused.
"It is not the first time."
I asked her what she wanted to do.
She thought for a moment. Then she said: "I need to be straight with them."
That afternoon Arianne gathered her whole team.
She stood in front of everyone and said: "I am not perfect. I made a failure. I keep jumping in when you are struggling and I know it is not helping you.
I want to stop. But I need your help."
The room went quiet.
Then... you could feel the shift
One person started speaking. Then another. All of a sudden everyone started to talk and made suggestions. Signals the team could use when she jumped in.
Then someone said: "What if we had sessions where we talk about our failures? Where it is safe to not have the answer?"
📌 Failure Friday was born that afternoon.
Not because Arianne was told to create psychological safety. And certainly not because there was a framework for it.
Because she went first.
Within weeks the team started:
• Making their own decisions.
• Designing their own working agreements.
• Solving their own problems.
One act of vulnerability changed everything.
This is what I mean when I say change cannot be delegated.
It does not start with the programme. It starts with a moment like this one. A leader in a room, choosing to be human first.
Where do you still have the answer ready ➣ when your team should be finding it themselves? Love to hear your thoughts ↓↓↓
