26/08/2014
YESTERDAY WAS A WAKE-UP CALL…
Looking back, yesterday was not just another day. I should have known something was up when Paul walked into my house yesterday and said something felt different today. For the last two weeks I have been researching the fundamental differences in attention and awareness between the left and right hemispheres. Well yesterday was a “Left Hemisphere Day”; although with none of the normal brain chatter that most people experience. I had just finished reading a book by Jill Taylor, “My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey”, so I was primed for near death experiences.
By the time that the banker came over for a meeting at 9:30 I was for all intentional purposes high as a kite. My morning walk had flooded my brain with Dopamine, one of my favorite bio-chemicals. All during the meeting with the banker, I could not stop laughing. I remember making the comment to him “That it was almost sinful being this Happy!” Now, I am used to being basically Happy all of the time but I was in rare form for sure.
Again, Paul commented that he felt that something was very different this morning. It was just not the same as every other morning. Little had I known how different this day would be? The meeting with the bank concluded with my gifting him some homemade Mexican Salsa and Corn Chips and out the door he went.
As typical on Monday, I jumped on my bike and headed off to the swimming club to swim laps. As I rode to the pool, I had an experience that I will never forget and will change my life forever. I was riding toward the bike crosswalk on Phoenixstraat, noticing that the light had just changed to green I turned and started to cross the road. In Holland there are stop lights for bikes! As I entered the intersection a white car ran the red light. I became aware of the car as I was probably just inches from impact into the side. The last thing that I can remember is seeing the front wheel of the bike just an inch from the side of the car. When my brain came back online I was on the ground in front of my bike. Apparently I had gone over the handle bars and the bike was just behind me. The span of time between the wheel being an inch away from the car and when I found myself on the ground was missing. I assume that my brain had gone on “autopilot” (temporary brain impairment) and taken over control from neocortex and instinctively slammed on the brakes. The left brake on my bike for the front wheel is very tight and I think it stopped me instantly which might account for the fact that I was now in front of my bike.
As I lay there, I could feel my consciousness come back online and I began to realize that I was on the ground. Two very kind Dutch women helped my too my feet. I was confused and very disoriented and stunned to say the least. I remember one of them saying to the other we need to get the license plate of that car, which had by now pulled off to the side of the rode. There was some ongoing interchange between the two women about getting the license plate and that the car had just ran the red light. They sat in their car, I assume looking back to see if I was okay. Eventually they drove off and I didn’t get their license plate. What a gift that would later turn out to be as I had no one to blame for my adventure. As I stood up, the women kept asking me “Are you okay?”, “Do you need a doctor?”, “Are you sure you are okay?”. Of course all of this in Dutch which is not my native language for sure and compounded by being dazed and confused. In response to their desire to chase after the driver, I assured them that I was fine, I was fine. In fact I felt great! In the moment that my conscious awareness had gone offline my brain had delivered the biggest shot of Endorphins that I can ever remember experiencing. I didn’t feel anything; nature’s natural anesthetic had completely numbed all physical pain and any awareness of my body.
In response to their inquiries as too whether I was okay; I looked down at my body. There wasn’t a scratch, no blood, no cuts, no abrasions, nothing! How was that possible? I looked at my jacket, a very thin nylon that should have been torn to threads. Not a mark, nothing. I looked at my jeans, same story, not a scratch. Now, I have very thin skin and can get bruised just by bumping into something. This was weird and I still marvel at coming out of this without a scratch. Later I discovered a red mark on the palm of my right hand about the size of a quarter, just red, no scrap, and no blood. How was this possible? I should be in the hospital and perhaps with just slightly different micro timing and reactions, Dead! I could have easily been under the wheels of the car and I don’t think that would have worked out so well.
As the day went on the Endorphins started to fade but it took more than an hour for sure. I started to feel my body again, it could feel that it might be getting sore in the future, but for the moment it just felt like I had a body. I put off taking any Tylenol for several hours to make sure that I was aware of any physical damage that I might have experienced and to allow myself to be in this experience which by then I had realized was one of extreme significance. Eventually I downed some Tylenol and had a nap.
When I awoke I thought to myself, I didn’t get the license plate of the driver. They ran a red light! I need to call the police. I could have been killed! They need to be held accountable for their negligence. Soon thereafter another wave of thought came over me. I didn’t get their license plate, there was no one to blame. I am so thankful that I had no one to blame, no one to chase after and point my finger. I just focused on how lucky that I was, to be alive, in this moment. As my gratitude for walking away from this experience increased over the next hours,
I began to understand that this was a message, “A Wake-Up Call”. What was the message and who was it from? Now let’s just assume for the moment that you believe in some form of God, some higher intelligence or whatever you might term in. It didn’t matter who was sending the message. Maybe, I sent the message to myself in such a way that I could not ignore it. What was the message? The answer came pretty quick “Get off your fu..ing butt and do something!” It was as clear as a bell, d**g, d**g, d**g. Over and over again, eventually I thought to myself “I get it. You don’t have to keep repeating it over and over”.
We tend to get lost in the minuscule details of our lives, the stuff that makes up each of our days. We fail to realize that in a blink of eye we could be dead. It can happen just that fast, one minute you are focused on the meaningless details of your life and you step in front of car and it’s all over. Dead…just like that! So it’s time for me to come out of retirement. I had been lulled into a state of bliss, of continual Happiness. When you hang around in that state of mind there really isn’t a need to do anything, It’s All Good. But….you are not alone. The world is a really messed up place and really needs help. The children of this generation are somewhat lost and on a slippery sloop as their connectedness to social media has further increased their isolation. It’s not enough, for You to be okay, for You to be successful, for You to be happy. You are not alone, there is a whole world out there and “they” are a lot more connected to you that you might realize. For me it’s far past time to get off my butt and try to make a difference in this world!
In closing….although this might sound really weird, I am grateful to the person who ran the red light. I am grateful that I walked away without a scratch. I am grateful that I am Alive. And finally I am grateful for the Wake-Up Call.
Jmîchaeĺe