06/04/2021
I believe there are two distinct versions of ‘love’.
These are:
• Healthy, real Love, and
• Unhealthy, false Love.
💖 Healthy, real Love is: Warm, safe, peaceful, true, supportive and loyal.
It creates togetherness, commitment, teamwork and support.
It contains integrity, feelings of knowing and being at peace, and easy trust.
It adds solidness and security to your everyday life experience.
💔 Unhealthy, false Love is: unstable and dramatic, with big highs and lows.
It creates separations, misunderstandings, and a lack of teamwork and support.
It contains misinformation, unknown quantities, and feelings of confusions, anxiety and distrust.
It creates instability, confusion and pain within your everyday life experience.
Real Love begins with you – always. It is not the chemical high of instant attraction, instant relationships and throwing our hearts, bodies and visions of Who This Person Is Meant To Be into the fray without consideration. True Love is mindful; it is respectful. It isn’t impatient, needy or reckless.
When first discovered, True Love is not described as, “They are my total soul mate. We’re so compatible. We are so meant to be.”
It is more likely to sound like this: “They are great. It’s early days, I really like them, and I’m taking my time to get to know who they are before starting a relationship with them. Time will tell.”
The first description comes from an idealised, fantasy place, which is incredibly dangerous.
The second comes from a grounded, mature and real space which is solid and healthy.
How do we know when we are hooked on not recovering from unhealthy Love?
❇️ We know when we can’t move on.
✴️ We know when we feel limited and fear that we will never love or be loved again.
❇️ We know we are trying to recover from obsessive, unhealthy Love when we suffer intense agony over the loss. We feel empty and shattered in our present lives and fear and despair regarding our future.
✴️ We know when we feel no joy or connection to life.
❇️ We may feel like life is not worth living.
✴️ We may feel like we’re dying.
(I can sense some of you nodding your head.)
If you believe that Love at first sight or intense physical attractions is the only way Love can ever happen for you, I can’t help you because you will only continue to create love, pain and relationship disaster.
If you realise all of this was you not knowing how to love and honour yourself – and you want to move past this, then you have to get to work on what you need to do.
Which is…release your past, make peace with it; take the gift of conscious awareness of what the truth is and what is necessary and get on to your self-healing regarding creating Real Love.
Then it’s time to learn about what Real Love looks like, how to start it, how to be it to yourself, where you need to be within yourself before creating it, and how it feels when you meet it for real.
If you don’t, you will simply be living the same painful, unfulfilling version of your love life over and over again.
It always comes down to choice.
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Much love xo ❤️
