Eclipse Family Violence Services

01/09/2026

I am excited to be presenting at the DECULT conference in October https://decult.net/conference-2026/ as the Founder of ECLIPSE Family Violence Services

Coercive control is a social crisis, it occurs in the context of family and sexual violence, and within structured groups such as cults. It intentionally entraps victims and it is now time to center this issue and truly begin to discuss how we can ensure the tens of thousands of victims in Aotearoa are seen and heard.

Thank you for the invitation DECULT I am beyond excited to share knowledge from a lived experience perspective woven together with practice, process, policy knowledge, including international cross jurisdictional lessons learnt about the criminalisation of coercive control to ensure our foundations for change are strong and safe.

The Speakers list is available via this link https://decult.net/conference-2026/speakers/

more coming soon

27/08/2026

I love it when our young people are not afraid to front the big issues. Please see the petition started by a group of young people at Hauraki Plains College, Thames to address and amend the heteronormative categorisation of r**e.

"We are wanting to redefine section 128 of the Crimes Act 1961 ...

Our group has selected the legal definition of r**e in New Zealand. In Section 128 of the Crimes Act 1961, the law states that women can not r**e, and more specifically, a man can not be r**ed by a woman. This section states, “Person A r**es person B if person A has sexual connection with person B, effected by the pe*******on of person B’s genitalia by person A’s pen*s…”

We believe this definition may be derogatory and dehumanising. Our mission is to create change in the Crimes Act 1961 by redefining r**e in New Zealand to be more inclusive. Currently, men and women who were 'r**ed' by a woman are told they were victims of "unlawful sexual connection"; however, this can be extremely demeaning and harm the victims' mental health if their traumatic experiences are undermined by by the law. At this point, Sweden, the United States, South Africa and Bhutan have used the term 'r**e' as gender neutral in their legislation ...

Make the term 'r**e' gender-neutral in New Zealand

23/08/2026

Demand for ethnic women’s refuge support nearly doubles in two years - “Shakti Women's Refuge has provided more than 7000 overnight spaces over the past two years, almost double the roughly 3600 spaces it provided in the preceding two-year period.

The organisation opened a third safe house in Auckland last month as it continues to see women and children seeking support, including women who face additional challenges because of their immigration status.”

An ethnic women's refuge organisation says demand for its safe houses has nearly doubled over the past two years, with women facing increasingly complex barriers to getting help.

23/08/2026

Children as young as 7 seeking help as Youthline calls reach record high – “Youthline says it's reached record levels, connecting an average of four young people every day with emergency services because they were at immediate risk of harm over the past six months. Just a few years ago, that figure was closer to one a week.”

One of the country's main crisis helplines says more children than ever before are seeking help - some as young as seven years old.

26/07/2026

RECOGNISE | RESPOND | SUPPORT
Practical workplace responses to stalking released after stalking became a stand alone criminal offence.

Equipping workplaces with guidance and tools to support employees experiencing stalking

“Stalking is a pattern of targeted and unwanted behaviours that cause fear or distress. Stalking can happen in person, online and through the use of technology. Some behaviours may seem minor or trivial in isolation or be seen as subtle; however, harm can build up over time when behaviours are rep...

20/07/2026

Stalking, Surveillance and Monitoring Guidance – including for Pets

Debbs recently contributed to a story through The Herald, that highlighted the prevalence of devices used to stalk, surveil, and monitor victims of family violence.

This story provided some fantastic advice to support tech safety, while also providing some additional considerations for our fur-babies/pets.

https://www.eclipsefamilyviolenceservices.co.nz/post/stalking-surveillance-and-monitoring-guidance-including-for-pets

08/07/2026

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ECLIPSE!
We are now entering our fifth year of ECLIPSE Family Violence Services.

We would love to take this opportunity to share with you some personal wins and successes from the previous year in the Family Violence sphere:

ECLIPSE:
-In the past year, we have trained a total of 1845 responders and practitioners through face-to-face/ online work shops and E-learning.

-Our team has grown from three facilitators to six facilitators (details soon to be shared)

-Debbs now has wonderful support with an EA and critical Admin support (again details to be shared soon)

We are excited to also share
-We have introduced E-learning workshops to offer training through a specialised lens for practitioners who work with specific diversity groups.

-ECLIPSE has successfully obtained several government contracts and is sharing our lived experience lens in many spaces.

-Multiple organisations have purchased our Essential Level Entry to Expert (E2E) Capability Framework and are upskilling whole of workforces

-Essential Level Entry to Expert (E2E) Capability Framework coming soon

-Debbs was appointed to the Family and Sexual Violence Ministerial Advisory Group, and was beyond honoured to accept the Chair appointment.

Legislative and Awareness Wins:
-May 2026 - Stalking and Harassment became a standalone criminal offense.

-February 2026 - The Evidence (Giving Family Violence Evidence in Family Court Proceedings) Amendment Act 2025 (Act 44 of 2025) enables witnesses in Family Court to provide evidence via alternative methods (video link, from behind a screen). Enacted to enhance safety and reduce trauma.

-Dr Kathy Peri - A tool has been designed to help assess the risk of abuse of older people has been developed by the University of Auckland’s Dr Kathy Peri.
-And many more

While we still have a long journey a head of us, it is important to recognise every win and each step we take, leading us to a safer Aotearoa, New Zealand free from Family Violence. What we contribute as individuals, shapes our wider community, and ripples out globally. We are excited to continue to contribute alongside our dedicated Kaimahi.

06/07/2026

This is phenomenal research and shines a spotlight on the critical risk of su***de as a consequence of family violence, especially when we understand coercive control and that lethality isn't just physical injury.

Leading domestic violence expert calls for the investigation of su***de victims linked to family violence and coercive control.

05/06/2026

So proud to be joining this amazing line up of wāhine at Whenua Fitness at their event celebrating women - By Wāhine For Wāhine on Sunday.

Even prouder that this is my eldest daughter Nicole Stowers initiative, at her and her partners Christchurch gym, Whenua Fitness.

I am so proud of everything she does, I am in awe of her as a wāhine and as a māmā, and her physical and mental stamina is unbelievable.

Both my girls will be there Sunday and for the first time I'll share some of my journey in front of some of my children.

I'm excited 😊

22/05/2026

This morning has been a morning of profound reflection, hope and gratitude.

It is honour enough to be selected to represent in the new Ministerial Advisory Group for Family and Sexual Violence alongside some incredible humans. But to be asked to Chair the group was something that I am still trying to process, and to be honest there is a rather large amount of imposter syndrome also being navigated.

But what I do know, is that I am ready and committed beyond a shadow of a doubt to this group, to this mahi, to Aotearoa New Zealand, and every primary victim and predominant aggressor, child and pet that has ever been harmed in the context of family violence and to all who have experienced sexual violence.

I set a goal five years ago to try and ensure that the voice of lived experience was honoured enough that it would inform all levels of response, policy, and legislation - and today it is a reality.

Lived experience now has a place and a voice at the highest levels, and that my friends had me crying tears of unbelievable thanks last night.

Thank you to my whānau and friends - you have all believed in me and supported the raising of my voice. I would never have achieved this without you.

And thanks to all of you who have taken the time to send such beautifully humbling messages. I am profoundly blessed.

Minister Chhour said addressing these complex issues requires coordinated action between government agencies, frontline services, and communities across New Zealand.