Eclipse Family Violence Services

05/06/2026

So proud to be joining this amazing line up of wāhine at Whenua Fitness at their event celebrating women - By Wāhine For Wāhine on Sunday.

Even prouder that this is my eldest daughter Nicole Stowers initiative, at her and her partners Christchurch gym, Whenua Fitness.

I am so proud of everything she does, I am in awe of her as a wāhine and as a māmā, and her physical and mental stamina is unbelievable.

Both my girls will be there Sunday and for the first time I'll share some of my journey in front of some of my children.

I'm excited 😊

22/05/2026

This morning has been a morning of profound reflection, hope and gratitude.

It is honour enough to be selected to represent in the new Ministerial Advisory Group for Family and S*xual Violence alongside some incredible humans. But to be asked to Chair the group was something that I am still trying to process, and to be honest there is a rather large amount of imposter syndrome also being navigated.

But what I do know, is that I am ready and committed beyond a shadow of a doubt to this group, to this mahi, to Aotearoa New Zealand, and every primary victim and predominant aggressor, child and pet that has ever been harmed in the context of family violence and to all who have experienced s*xual violence.

I set a goal five years ago to try and ensure that the voice of lived experience was honoured enough that it would inform all levels of response, policy, and legislation - and today it is a reality.

Lived experience now has a place and a voice at the highest levels, and that my friends had me crying tears of unbelievable thanks last night.

Thank you to my whānau and friends - you have all believed in me and supported the raising of my voice. I would never have achieved this without you.

And thanks to all of you who have taken the time to send such beautifully humbling messages. I am profoundly blessed.

Minister Chhour said addressing these complex issues requires coordinated action between government agencies, frontline services, and communities across New Zealand.

11/05/2026

PETITION - Remove 'Good Character' Discounts for s*xual violence offenders!!!!

A survivor of childhood s*xual abuse is calling for change.

Sam Troth from Road to Healing Aotearoa has collected 16,000 signatures on a petition to ban good character discounts in sentencing s*x offenders.

And it's working. Three Australian states have already changed their laws. Our Justice Minister is open to reform. The Chief Victims Advisor supports it.

But here's the reality: Right now, s*xual offenders can get sentences reduced by up to 40% because they're "of good character."

Abuse is abuse

Women, men, non-binary people—survivors deserve justice.

No letters needed.

This is not justice.

This is protecting offenders' reputations over survivor healing.

The petition closes at the end of July . Please Sign it. Share it. Demand change.

Because you're not of good character if you're s*xually assaulting anyone. Period. 💜

https://petitions.parliament.nz/cf986021-083d-40b6-a30f-08dd63dfe70d?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=IwY2xjawRqIMRleHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETFNb2VETWVEbUlickNSbVY2c3J0YwZhcHBfaWQQMjIyMDM5MTc4ODIwMDg5MgABHv6R2WAd17KwfTXUi4hW47mLkjb-_Nc10Dk5cxuqG7ylht7VSUDSImF6PcWk_aem_D0BWQ9gK2QBi2u6eT6OWGA&brid=YWdncwF81GlfhIc-oPyaJhVCF4Ry&lang=en

17/04/2026

Some days and weeks are hard, but when Joy is found in what we do every day - the load somehow lightens.

We dont always get what people think are the big wins - and many measure success by those big wins ... money, titles, assets, fame etc

Me? - I just live in such deep gratitude that I get to turn up every day and try.

Have wonderful weekends everyone

15/03/2026

This actually hurts my heart:

When did anyone in Aotearoa think the right option to address homelessness was to criminalise it?

When did anyone ever think the solution to homelessness was to fine people living on the streets, and so far beyond the poverty line $2000.00. How could that even logically seem like a solution that would work?

When did anyone ever think the solution was to lock up those who are merely trying to survive with the limited resource they have, and who are often navigating the trauma of life experiences the best way they know how?

In reality, three meals a day, a warm room, and clean clothes is the solution - just not in a prison cell.

This makes me so very sad. How could we get it so very wrong?

We have violent offenders on bail that may make better use of any free prison beds in order to keep victims safe.

We have Police already over run and under resourced being positioned to arrest people for social issues.

If there are offenses that involve risk to safety of self or others - fill your boots - otherwise support, care, kindness and compassion is the answer.

If we can make such rapid changes to legislation - lets start making it where it will truly have the biggest impact - safety of victims.

Advocates say you can't enforce your way out of homelessness.

15/03/2026

IMPORTANT MOVEMENT: Child S*x Offenders and push for removal of "Good Character" for sentencing discounts

What are your thoughts?

The Government is being urged to scrap “good character” discounts for child s*x offenders at sentencing, amid mounting global criticism that it minimises the severity of the crime while compounding the trauma of its victims.

Debbs thoughts: Thank goodness .. one of the most powerful myths that surround the violence perpetrated in Aotearoa New Zealand, and globally is that ... good people, public facing people, wealthy people, people in power positions, clergy, volunteers, those who serve communities ... are incapable of perpetrating abuse and harm.

This myth immediately places a victim who discloses against any of these kinds of abusers, in a position of further layers of disbelief and judgement.

When that barrier is battled and overcome, sentencing minimises their journey by allowing "good character" discounts.

"Guilty" and "Good Character" are an oxymmoron when it comes to intentional harm.

So this is such important progression and will further uphold the mana of our survivors - thank you Chief Victims Advisor Ruth Money MNZM"

The Government is being urged to scrap “good character” discounts for child s*x offenders at sentencing, amid mounting global criticism that it minimises the severity of the crime while compounding the trauma of its victims.

11/03/2026

BOOK REVIEW OPPORTUNITY - If anyone has read my book One Soul One Survivor and wish to undertake a review - you can do so via this link by scrolling to the bottom of the page - https://www.eclipsefamilyviolenceservices.co.nz/product-page/one-soul-one-survivor-book

We have sold hundreds of books and know those books have been given to others to read, so we would love reviews from each reader if you feel it is warranted - No pressure lol

In her recently published book, One Soul, One Survivor, first-time author Debbs Murray recounts her powerful and moving journey into, through, and out of a relationship where there was serious family violence. By sharing her story, Debbs provides insights into the complexities and dynamics of family...

11/03/2026

NEW LEGISLATION - Evidence (Giving Family Violence Evidence in Family Court Proceedings) Amendment Act 2025

More new legislation to support making victims of family violence who in the family court space safer.

We are not saying this legislation is perfect, we are simply trying to keep people informed about movement int he family violence sector.

Because we know that no legislation is perfect, there are ongoing amendments and variations to ensure we are always striving for the most robust legislation we can get.

We love all comments and engagement on this page, but I will ask that you please do not share personal information about ongoing and current cases before the court/s as you risk jeopardising yourself and your case.

If you are interested in other up to date information in the family violence sector, please check out our active Blog - https://www.eclipsefamilyviolenceservices.co.nz/blog

https://www.eclipsefamilyviolenceservices.co.nz/post/new-legislation-evidence-giving-family-violence-evidence-in-family-court-proceedings-amendment-a

We all know that legislation is not perfect - but there are some incredible forward movements in our judicial space at the moment NEW LEGISLATION - Evidence (Giving Family Violence Evidence in Family Court Proceedings) Amendment Act 2025

06/03/2026

Please check out ECLIPSEs 'Where to Get help" page

You will find links to family and s*xual violence support services nationally

You will find supports for Primary victim support services and predominant Aggressor support services and our children.

Family violence is not OK. There's lots of places where you can get support. Find out more here.

06/03/2026

Really important legislation for any victims about to enter, or currently navigating the court systems - family - District or Higher Courts - https://www.eclipsefamilyviolenceservices.co.nz/post/new-legislation-victims-of-family-violence-strengthening-legal-protections-legislation-act-2025

Often the only control mechanism our abusers have post relationship is misuse of the court systems - litigation abuse - systemic coercion etc - this legislation recognises that this is a reality.

Thank you MoJ - it is a wonderful start to reducing repeat and recurring victimisation -check out more information on how Litigation Abuse Orders work - https://www.justice.govt.nz/family/litigant-abuse-orders/

Check out our ECLIPSE Blog which will now be regularly updated with what is happening in our sector - kind of like a social media panui - https://www.eclipsefamilyviolenceservices.co.nz/blog

Important new legislation to recognise and reduce the incidence of the Family Court system being used to perpetrate further acts of post relationship coercive control. Acts of court systemic coercion is often the only way for an abuser to retain control over a primary victim post separation. Court a...