07/08/2018
In Denmark, a country that is consistently ranked as one of the "world's happiest," schools prioritize teaching empathy and consider it as important as teaching math and literature -- and it all starts with a piece of cake! From their very first day of school until they graduate from high school, Danish kids spend an hour every week on “Klassens Time” or the “Class Hour.” Kids take turns bringing in a cake or another treat for the class to share. While they eat it, the students gather to talk about problems they’re having and, together, the class discusses possible solutions. “The important thing is that everyone is heard,” says Jesper Vang, a middle school teacher in Odense. “Our job as the teacher is to make sure that the children understand how the other feels, and see why the other feels as they do. This way, we come up with a solution together based on real listening and real understanding.”
Research has found that empathy appears to be innate in children but the degree to which it develops depends on how it is cultivated over time. In contrast to Denmark, a University of Michigan study recently found college students in the U.S. today are 40 percent less empathetic than they were thirty years ago, while narcissism is on the rise. Such a trend is worrisome not only for its impact on society at large but for the kids themselves. More empathetic kids, on average, are more successful adults; they graduate from high school and have full-time jobs at higher rates than less empathetic youth who are more likely to drop out of school and go to juvenile detention.
Given all of the benefits of cultivating children's empathy, following Denmark's example both at home and in schools could have a profound effect on children’s happiness and success. During the “Klassens Time”, the students are encouraged to discuss challenges they are experiencing both in and outside of school. If no student has a problem to discuss, they simply come together as a group to relax and "hygge" or cozy together. If teachers observe any issues emerging among students, they also use the gathering as an opportunity to explore any problems together. Anne Mikkelson, a Danish high school student, recalls the impact of "Klassens Time" in improving social dynamics: "I remember when we were 10 or 11, we often talked about girl cliques. That was a common topic, and we would discuss it and try to solve it together. Sometimes that just meant the girls being more aware and trying to interact more with others, but it always helped us to talk about it together.”
Ultimately, Jessica Alexander, who wrote a book about Danish parenting, wonders: "It’s interesting to think what implementing the Class’s Hour in the U.S. school system could do for our future. By dedicating an hour a week to teaching kids to put themselves in someone else’s shoes from the ages of 6 to 16, and helping to find solutions together, what kind of changes could we bring about? Looking to the world happiness reports year after year, I can’t help but think that incorporating a version of the Danish Class’s Hour in our schools and improving empathy could literally be a piece of cake."
To check out Jessica's fascinating book, “The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids," visit http://amzn.to/2eW31gm
For another excellent parenting book focused on cultivating kids' empathy for others, check out “UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World” at https://www.amightygirl.com/unselfie
For two wonderful books that help foster children's compassion for others by giving them a visual way to think about kindness, we recommend "Have You Filled a Bucket Today: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids" for ages 4 to 8 (https://www.amightygirl.com/have-you-filled-a-bucket-today) and its sequel "Growing Up With A Bucket Full Of Happiness" for ages 9 to 12 (https://www.amightygirl.com/growing-up-with-a-bucket-full-of-happiness)
For two books for young children that show how even a small act of kindness can bloom into something much greater, we highly recommend "Plant a Kiss" for ages 3 to 8 (https://www.amightygirl.com/plant-a-kiss) and "Ordinary Mary's Extraordinary Deed" for ages 4 to 8 (https://www.amightygirl.com/ordinary-mary)
And, for many empathy-building books for both children and teens themselves that emphasize the value of compassion, visit our "Kindness & Compassion" section at http://amgrl.co/2lPjUyP
