See the Signs Safeguarding Consultancy

19/10/2026

🚨 CHILD SEXUAL EXPLOITATION DOESN’T BECOME ROMANCE JUST BECAUSE THE PERPETRATOR IS A WOMAN.

🎥 Watch this video: https://youtu.be/F0hXvpLim-M

“How did he get so lucky?”
“Wow, he’s punching above his weight!”
“Lucky boy, dating an experienced woman!”
“Wow, he’s got himself a cougar!”

We’ve all seen comments like these. But have we stopped to think about what they actually mean when the boy is a CHILD?

This is one of the forms of Child Sexual Exploitation (CSE) that society too often overlooks, minimises or even celebrates.

Imagine the reaction if the genders were reversed. Would people still be laughing, congratulating the child or describing the relationship as something to envy?

A child is a child. The perpetrator’s gender does not change that.

Boys can be victims of grooming, s*xual abuse and exploitation too. They may feel flattered, believe they are in a relationship, or even defend the adult responsible. None of this makes the adult’s behaviour acceptable, and none of it removes the adult’s responsibility.

We must stop confusing a child’s apparent willingness, curiosity or perceived maturity with the capacity to consent to an adult exploiting their vulnerability.

🇺🇸 This US case highlighted in this video raises an important question about accountability. Where adults s*xually exploit children, the seriousness of the offending must be recognised regardless of whether the perpetrator is male or female.

🇳🇿 And what about New Zealand?

In 2025, former Auckland teacher Myah Leanie Adams, aged 27, had her original sentence of two years and one month in prison reduced on appeal to 10 months’ home detention following her offending involving a 15-year-old male student. The High Court considered, among other matters, the impact imprisonment would have on her young daughter. The judge also removed her s*x offender registration requirement. Source: NZ Herald

This raises difficult but necessary questions about how we recognise, sentence and respond to s*xual offending against children — and whether we apply the same standards when the perpetrator is a woman.

A perpetrator’s circumstances deserve consideration within the justice system, but the child’s harm, wellbeing and need for protection must never be overlooked.

At See the Signs, we want parents, teachers, professionals and communities to recognise CSE in all its forms. That includes recognising when an adult’s behaviour towards a boy is being normalised because people find the idea of a female perpetrator less threatening or even amusing.

❌ Stop calling it a lucky boy.
❌ Stop romanticising adult s*xual behaviour towards children.
❌ Stop assuming boys cannot be victims.

✅ Recognise the signs.
✅ Take disclosures seriously.
✅ Protect boys as well as girls.
✅ Hold adults accountable.

If the child were your son, would you still call him lucky?

We need to change the conversation. Our children deserve nothing less.

Bodycam footage captures the shocking moment Robyn Polston, 43, is ...

14/08/2026

At a recent STS presentation, ‘cuckooing’ was discussed — and one team member shared that she had heard of a similar situation occurring in Tauranga.

This is another safeguarding issue that is happening in Aotearoa New Zealand, yet remains largely unspoken, misunderstood and often difficult to recognise.

Cuckooing can involve vulnerable people being exploited, manipulated or coerced, with others taking over or using their home for harmful or criminal activity.

If those working with vulnerable people don’t know what to look for, how can we expect them to recognise it and intervene?

More awareness. More understanding. More training.

Because safeguarding starts with being able to See the Signs.

Cuckooing: when a person’s own home is no longer a place of safety The Kent and Medway Safeguarding Adults Board Learning Briefing concerning ‘Bob’ provides important learning about exploitation, professional curiosity and the need for effective multi-agency safeguarding. Bob was 69 when he di...

12/08/2026

What if the victims are already in front of us?

Today See the Signs presented Child Safeguarding training to an Iwi-led social services team, including a focus on Child Sexual Exploitation (CSE) and Trafficking within Aotearoa New Zealand.

Within the first hour the team identified two potential cases of CSE and trafficking among the clients they were already working with.

But what happened at the end of the training was even more confronting.

90% of the team said that with their new knowledge they realised they had previously dealt with CSE cases, but had not recognised them as CSE at the time.

Read that again.

One small team.
One training session.
Two cases identified almost immediately.
And 90% recognising that they had potentially encountered CSE before without understanding what they were seeing.

So how many victims are out there right now who are not being recognised as victims?

How many tamariki and rangatahi are being exploited in plain sight, surrounded by adults who genuinely want to help them but simply don’t have the knowledge to recognise what is happening?

It doesn’t take much imagination to realise the answer is far too many.

CSE doesn’t always look like what we expect. Trafficking doesn’t always involve borders, boats or strangers. Exploitation can happen within our own communities, towns, homes and networks.

If you work alongside whānau, tamariki or rangatahi, understanding CSE and trafficking should not be optional.

The knowledge to recognise exploitation could be the difference between a child continuing to be exploited and a child finally being protected.

Now is the time to step forward and say: “We need this training!”

Don’t wait until you discover a victim after the exploitation has already occurred.

Learn to See the Signs. Recognise the victim.
Take action.

05/08/2026

A new Bill before Parliament is asking New Zealanders an important question:
If you knew a child was being abused would you recognise it and would you know what to do?

The proposed Crimes (Offence of Failing to Report Child Harm) Bill seeks to make it a criminal offence to knowingly fail to report child abuse. It has reignited an important national conversation about our responsibility to protect children. https://www.legislation.govt.nz/bill/members/2026/335/en/latest/?utm_source=chatgpt.com

But before we can report abuse…We have to recognise it.

Many people believe child abuse is obvious. Sadly, it often isn’t.
One of the most misunderstood forms of child abuse is Child Sexual Exploitation (CSE).

It isn’t always a stranger in a van.

It can be an older boyfriend.

A sports coach.

Someone online.

A trusted family friend.

A person offering gifts, money, alcohol, drugs, accommodation, transport or simply the attention and acceptance a vulnerable young person is desperately seeking.

The grooming can happen over weeks, months or even years. Victims frequently don’t recognise they are being abused and neither do the adults around them.

Child Sexual Exploitation is child abuse.

It is happening today in communities throughout Aotearoa New Zealand.
This new Bill reminds us that protecting children isn’t just about reporting abuse—it’s about recognising it before more harm occurs.

Forewarned is forearmed.

At See the Signs (STS) we equip parents, teachers, health professionals, sports clubs, faith communities, youth organisations and anyone working with children to recognise the warning signs of grooming, child s*xual exploitation and other forms of abuse.

Because safeguarding starts long before a report is made.
It starts with education.
It starts with recognising the signs.

If your organisation would like practical, evidence-based safeguarding or Child Sexual Exploitation training, we’d love to work with you.

Together, we can build communities that recognise abuse earlier, respond confidently, and better protect our tamariki.

Recognise the Signs. Protect the Child.
Ngā mihi,
Tina Budd
Founder & Director
See the Signs Child Safeguarding Consultancy Ltd
📞 021 088 13571
🌐 www.seethesigns.co.nz

Helping New Zealand recognise the signs, respond appropriately and safeguard vulnerable children and young people.

With 22 years of policing experience, Tina brings powerful lived expertise from specialist units focused on family harm, vulnerable adults, child abuse, missing children and child s*xual exploitation & trafficking

03/08/2026

Last week, it was an honour to deliver our Child Safeguarding & Child Sexual Exploitation training to the incredible team at Huria Trust, Tauranaga.

As a kaupapa Māori organisation, Huria Trust provides a wide range of health, social, educational and cultural services that support whānau, hapū and the wider Tauranga community. Their work spans Whānau Ora, Kahu Taurima, disability advocacy, health services, antenatal support, training and employment and programmes for kaumātua. Every day, their kaimahi work alongside some of our most vulnerable tamariki and whānau. (Huria Trust)

By strengthening knowledge around child safeguarding, grooming behaviours, Child Sexual Exploitation (CSE) and trafficking, their team is now even better equipped to:

Recognise the early signs that a child may be at risk.

Respond confidently and appropriately to concerns or disclosures.

Understand the importance of information sharing and early intervention.

Advocate for tamariki and whānau before harm escalates.

Continue creating safe environments where children can thrive.

Safeguarding is not the responsibility of one agency—it belongs to every adult who works with children and whānau.

A huge thank you to everyone at Huria Trust for your engagement, openness and commitment to protecting our tamariki. Your willingness to learn and have these conversations will make a real difference in your community.

Together, through education and awareness, we can help ensure that every child has the opportunity to grow up safe, heard and protected.

30/07/2026

With articles coming out daily of children being harmed here in Aoteraroa New Zealand, we must act now to become aware of how to protect our children.