12/06/2024
We've all been there. You're brimming with enthusiasm for a new approach, especially after a transformative training session. But when you try to implement it, a colleague throws up a wall of resistance. It can be incredibly frustrating!
Ovidiu, our general manager has a great story from his experience as an Agile Coach.
"I once worked with Olivier, a talented IT professional, who participated in an Agile Product Management (APM) training. Two weeks later, he excitedly told me, "It's incredible! I see it everywhere now. Agile is a way of being. It's much more than a framework!"
However, when I proposed building a Minimum Viable Product (MVP) during the APM training, Olivier balked. "MVP? That seems flimsy. We need a robust solution from the start!"
Instead of pushing my agenda, I knew I had to understand his concerns. Here's the thing: there are ways we can unintentionally shut down communication before even attempting active listening." Let's explore some common conversation killers:
5 Things That Hurt the Conversation Before Active Listening:
1. Interrupting: Although I was definitely not in agreement with Olivier's point about MVPs being flimsy, I did not let my eagerness to "fix" the situation prevent me from hearing Olivier out. I gave him the space to fully express his concerns.
2. Dismissing Concerns: I refrained from phrases like "Don't worry about that" or "It'll be fine" that would have minimized his perspective and shut down further discussion.
3. Jumping to Conclusions: I stayed away from assuming I knew why Olivier resisted the MVP idea. Being sure he was wrong, judging him or thinking I was somehow superior due to my knowledge of Agile or status as a trainer would have prevented me from understanding his real reasons and effectively helping Olivier see the value of the technique.
4. Being Defensive: Taking his resistance personally makes would have made the situation about myself and would have prevented a real dialogue about what was valuable to him and the benefits himself and his team could have experienced.
5. Focusing on "Winning" the Argument: The goal isn't to prove him wrong; it's to find a collaborative path forward. Although looking at the situation differently, we managed to find the common goal of understanding the best techniques to bring products and services to market.
Active Listening: 5 Steps to Truly Hear
Now, equipped with the awareness of conversation killers, let's explore how to truly hear Olivier:
1. Focus: Olivier had my undivided attention. We were both focused on the conversation and making eye contact.
2. Acknowledge: I've spent some time listening, then checking to see if I understood what he's saying. This also helped me see we were on the right track and showed Olivier I was engaged. ("So, you're concerned that an MVP might not be believable enough?")
3. Reflect: There were several instances where I've reformulated his concerns to ensure that my understanding was clear, but also to provoke new insights based on my professional experience. ("It sounds like you're worried about the long-term viability of an MVP. What if this MVP would have enough value to show the customer that you are focusing on the right stuff and would be delivered fast enough so that the customer would be impressed by the team's professionalism? How would that look like for your teams?")
4. Empathize: I showed that I cared about what he also cared about. ("I understand your desire for a comprehensive solution. I also believe that a solution should delight the customer and show we know what we are doing. It should not be shallow by any means.")
5. Silence: "You have 2 ears and 1 mouth, you should use them proportionally". Best quote I've heard on listening. Still holds true to the day. Shutting up created space for him to elaborate without interrupting. It also helped unwind the potential tension built up by our opposing beliefs.
Asking Powerful Questions: 5 Steps to Unlock Insights
By actively listening, we both managed to built a foundation for communication. However a great coach will ask power questions to unlock insights and generate breakthroughs in thinking, mindset and mental framing. Here's a small guide to powerful questions:
1. Open Ended: Start with "what" and "how" to encourage explanation. ("What specific concerns do you have about an MVP?")
2. Clarification: Use questions like "Can you elaborate on that?" to dig deeper into his reasoning.
3. Challenge Assumptions: Gently ask questions that provoke thought. ("Have we considered all the risks of a full-scale development upfront?")
4. Future-Oriented: Focus on potential benefits. ("What are the advantages of learning early with an MVP?")
5. Connection: Bridge the gap between his concerns and the benefits of an MVP. ("How could an MVP address your concerns about long-term viability?")
Through this conversation, I learned of Olivier's fear of failure and wasted resources. By asking questions, we explored how an MVP could mitigate those risks by allowing us to test core functionalities quickly and iterate based on user feedback.
The result? Olivier championed the MVP approach in his organization! The key takeaway? Powerful questions, coupled with active listening, pave the way for collaboration and overcoming resistance.
"Remember: Don't fight resistance. Understand it. Ask questions that spark curiosity and challenge assumptions. You might surprise yourself, and your colleagues, at the positive outcomes!"
