MindKatalysts

26/04/2023

Many people I talk to are interested in increasing their influence. Here’s some great tips on that topic!

To be effective in organizations today, you must be able to influence people. Here are some tips on how to position yourself as an informal leader, even if you're not a formal one. (1) Strategize. Create a “power map” -- an org chart of decision makers ...

31/10/2022

The Science of Making and Keeping Friends

‎Program: Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris, Avsnitt: The Science of Making and Keeping Friends | Robin Dunbar – 31 okt. 2022

19/12/2021

10/12/2021

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

03/09/2021

Try really hard, and then stop, recover, and repeat.

02/09/2021

Too often, our attention is given to things that are out of our control. Whether we are caught up in another's actions, the impact of a negative potential diagnosis, or uncertain about the prospects of our travel plans in the current circumstances, these events fall completely out of our control. Yet, they are the ones we are most often concerned with.

The Circles of Control Model (Covey, 1989) depicted above shows the three different areas we pay attention to. This model was initially created to distinguish between proactive people (those who focus on what they can do and can influence) and reactive people (those who focus on things beyond their control).

A proactive focus, or focus on the circle of control, will enable you to gain more autonomy over your life. By focusing on things in your control, you choose to dedicate your energy to something you can change and improve. The more focus you put on the circle of control, the bigger it grows and the less room there is for focus on things that are out of your control.

The circle of influence falls between the circle of control and the circle of concern and mainly refers to things that we have some control over and are relevant to us. For example, the behavior of a close friend is not necessarily in your direct control, but you have the power to influence their behavior by supporting and advising your friend. This circle inevitably takes up space in your attention bank. However, it should also not dominate your energy.

The circle of concern possesses things entirely out of our control, so we can only react to these events. Your time and energy will be wasted reacting to issues that you cannot control, making you feel helpless and powerless.

If you noticed that you sometimes pay too much attention to the events in the circle of concern, try to directly engage with the items in the circle of control. The more energy that is directed to the things you are in charge of, the more likely your life will align with your internalized goals and values.

Do you agree that most of your attention should be given to the circle of control? Let us know in the comments below!

01/07/2021

Episode two of our six-part Summer Sister Series on "The Gifts of Imperfection," with my sisters, Ashley and Barrett, dropped today.

In this episode, we start with Guidepost #1: Cultivating Authenticity and Letting Go of What People Think and move into Guidepost #2: Cultivating Self-Compassion and Letting Go of Perfectionism. Practicing authenticity — and yes, it is a daily practice — is really connected to boundary work, so we admit the individual fears we each experience when setting boundaries.

We also talk about perfectionism as a process addiction, and how our imperfections are not inadequacies, but instead they’re reminders that we’re all in this together. spoti.fi/UnlockingUs

13/04/2021

Shared by SELspace.

26/03/2021

Embrace Change

01/03/2021

Saying 'yes' to every request or opportunity can be a harmful thing, especially when it stands in the way of us living in line with our values. So, how do we learn to say 'no' gracefully?

In Greg McKeown's book 'Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less,' the idea of saying 'no' to increase valued living is put forward. McKeown suggested that we can learn to say 'no' gracefully to prioritize doing things that serve us. However, saying 'no' is often easier said than done.

So, we put forward some guideposts to help you learn to say 'no' gracefully.

⭐️ Firstly, saying no to someone can be made easier by tapping into our values. Research shows that living our lives according to our values is beneficial for our health and wellbeing. Thus, saying yes to someone or something that commits you to do something that feels somehow 'wrong' is doing yourself a disservice. When we feel the tension between what we feel is right and what someone is asking us to do, we are experiencing value-incongruence. Navigating these moments by tuning in to our values will allow us to say 'no' more easily.

⭐️ Secondly, saying no to someone's request can often feel like we are saying no to the person rather than the request. Learning to recognize that declining the request is not the same as declining the person enables us to do what's right for us without fearing that we are hurting someone's feelings.

⭐️ Thirdly, rather than focusing on what we will lose by saying no, consider what we will gain. We can reorient our attention to what we will gain by 'missing out' to make it easier to say no.

⭐️ Fourthly, when someone asks us for something, they ask us to give them something. This is a cost. Recognizing what it is that we are giving away by saying yes can help us say no.

⭐️ Finally, communicate clearly. Vague attempts to 'soften the blow' with non-committal language only leads to confusion and makes our eventual 'no' that much harder.

So, what do you think of this strategy for helping you say 'no'?

[Taken from our 'Learning to Say No' tool in our PositivePsychology Toolkit©]

01/03/2021