EDU Trainer

16/10/2026

Talking about meritocracy

This picture captures something important about meritocracy.
Meritocracy assumes that if we reward people according to their abilities, efforts and achievements, we are being fair. But what happens when people do not begin the race from the same starting line?
The sheep and the camel: two different realities
1. The same environment does not mean the same experience.
For the sheep, water up to the neck would be life-threatening. For the camel, it might be manageable.
In society, the same housing prices, healthcare costs, transport fares and retirement policies can affect people very differently.
2. The same challenge does not demand the same effort.
One person may overcome an obstacle with relative ease because of family support, education, financial security or useful connections. Another may struggle despite working just as hard.
What looks like a lack of effort from the outside may actually be a much heavier burden on the inside.
3. The finishing line may be the same, but the distance travelled is not.
Some people start with a head start. Others spend much of their journey simply trying to catch up.
If we measure only the final result without understanding the journey, we may mistake privilege for merit and struggle for failure.
So, is meritocracy the problem?

Meritocracy is not necessarily unfair. But meritocracy can produce unfair outcomes when we assume that everyone has had a fair opportunity to develop and demonstrate their merit.

15/10/2026

The durian story

This is a perennial prickly subject.
The cost of living, housing affordability, healthcare costs, retirement security, and why so many Singaporeans feel they are running harder just to stay where they are.
What strikes me about this durian analogy is that the issue is not simply how much Singaporeans can squeeze out of their income. It is whether what they earn can keep pace with what life requires of them.
And that is a very different question.
The durian analogy: what might be missing?
Imagine a Singaporean household trying to manage three major expenses:
Housing: paying a mortgage or rent while trying to build a secure home.
Healthcare: managing medical bills, insurance premiums and the possibility of serious illness.
Retirement: setting aside enough money for the years when earning a regular income becomes difficult or impossible.
Now imagine being told, in effect, that you need to squeeze your resources more carefully.
Of course, financial prudence matters. Households must make choices, distinguish needs from wants, and live within their means where possible.
But here is the uncomfortable question:
What if the durian has already been squeezed, and there is very little juice left?
You can tell someone to budget better. You can encourage them to work longer, save more, spend less or make smarter financial decisions. But if the essential costs of life continue to rise faster than their disposable income, personal discipline alone cannot resolve the problem.
That is where an individual household's responsibility meets the responsibility of the wider system.

But let's be fair to what PM Wong actually said
On 12 October 2026, PM Wong used the durian analogy at the DBS Asia Future Forward Conference to describe Singapore's resilience against pressure from more powerful countries. His point was that Singapore must build strong relationships, remain economically relevant and develop the capabilities to protect its own interests. The durian was a symbol of national resilience, not a direct analogy for how households should manage their finances.
However the public reaction is interesting because some netizens turned the analogy around: if Singapore is the durian, who is doing the squeezing, and who is feeling the pain? This valid question brings us back to the prickly issues we started with. Agree?

14/10/2026

Times like these it’s good to have a sense of humour. Like when there is no haze we have been blessed with oxygen from Indonesia. This perennial haze is also a good indicator how our leaders measure up to the challenge with viable sustainable solutions otherwise our iconic Merlion will suffer massive COPD.

14/10/2026

Intact but not connected pt3

The handle that broke off my cup. The more I think about it the more I realised how common this is.
Not every relationship breaks because of one big incident
This is where I would take the lesson a little deeper.
We sometimes assume that relationships fall apart because of a major betrayal, a terrible argument or one unforgivable act.
But sometimes, the damage accumulates quietly.
One interruption. One dismissive remark. One defensive response. One accusation. One apology that never comes. One person always having to give in.
Each incident may appear insignificant. Over time, however, repeated patterns can weaken trust.
The lesson is not that every small disagreement will break a relationship. It is that REPEATED small injuries, left unaddressed, can eventually damage something we thought was strong enough to last.
And here is the painful irony: the person contributing to the damage may not even realise it.
They may say, "What's wrong? We're still talking. We're still living together. Nothing has changed. It’s normal for couples.”
Meanwhile, the other person may have stopped sharing, stopped trusting or stopped expecting to be understood.
The cup is still there. But the handle is gone.
Intact but disconnected.

12/10/2026

Intact but not connected Pt 2

One morning I was enjoying my cuppa and all of a sudden the handle just gave way. The breaking point was not where i expected.
When a glass or cup breaks, we often imagine it shattering into pieces. But here, the body of the cup survived while the handle broke away.
The handle has a particular job. It allows us to grip, lift and carry the cup without holding the hot body directly.
In relationships, we also have our own handles.
They are the things that enable us to hold on to one another:
Trust — I can believe what you tell me.
Respect — I can disagree with you without humiliating you.
Listening — I can speak without being interrupted or dismissed.
Emotional safety — I can be honest without fearing an attack.
Appreciation — I know that I am not being taken for granted.
When these things weaken, a relationship may not collapse immediately. People may continue fulfilling their responsibilities while becoming increasingly disconnected.
Here is the question worth asking:
What holds our relationship together when love alone is no longer enough to carry the weight?
Love matters enormously. But healthy relationships also need behaviours that protect and sustain that love.

12/10/2026

NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN

The Wisdom of Staying Curious

Proverbs 1:5

“Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance.” — Proverbs 1:5 (NIV)

Something I’ve discovered is that curiosity has a funny way of changing us.

The moment I think I already know enough, I stop learning. And when I stop learning, I stop growing.

What fascinates me about Proverbs 1:5 is that it doesn’t say, “Let the ignorant listen and learn.” It says, “Let the wise listen and add to their learning.”

Think about that for a moment.

The wise are still listening. The discerning are still seeking guidance. In other words, wisdom does not make us independent of learning. True wisdom makes us more aware of how much we still have to learn.

And this is particularly relevant as we grow older.

We have accumulated years of experience. We have made decisions, raised families, built careers, experienced disappointments and celebrated successes. We have stories to tell and lessons to share.

But have we become wiser simply because we have become older?

Not necessarily.

Experience gives us opportunities to learn, but it does not guarantee that we have learned from those experiences.

Sometimes, the very experiences that should make us wiser can make us more rigid. We become attached to our opinions, comfortable with our familiar ways and resistant to anything that challenges what we have always believed.

We may have accumulated knowledge without developing the humility to question it.

And that is where curiosity matters.

1. The moment we stop asking questions, we stop growing

Have you noticed how children are naturally curious? They ask why, how and what if. They want to understand the world around them.

But somewhere along the way, many adults become less curious.

We become more interested in having the answers than in asking questions. We defend our opinions instead of examining them. We listen to respond rather than listen to understand.

Sometimes, we even dismiss an idea before we have taken the time to understand it.

Why?

Perhaps because admitting that we do not know something makes us uncomfortable. Perhaps we fear being wrong. Or perhaps we have mistaken familiarity for understanding.

But curiosity requires a different attitude.

It says, “I may have understood this before, but is there something more I can learn?”

It says, “I disagree with you, but I am willing to listen to understand why you think differently.”

And sometimes, it says, “I have believed this for many years, but perhaps I need to examine it again.”

That is not weakness. That is intellectual humility.

A closed mind protects what it already knows. An open mind explores what it has yet to understand.

11/10/2026

60 is the new 40. Really?

The senior worker: 60 is the new 40, but under what circumstances?

There are at least three very different reasons why a person might still be working at 60, 65 or 70.
The senior who works because they want to.
They enjoy their profession, have useful expertise, want social connection or find meaning in contributing. Continuing to work can be healthy, empowering and fulfilling.
The senior who works because they need to.
Their savings, CPF payouts or household income may not adequately cover their living expenses. They continue working because stopping is financially difficult.
The senior who wants to work but cannot find suitable employment.
They may have decades of experience but face age-related hiring barriers, fewer suitable vacancies, lower salary offers or difficulties transitioning into new roles.
These three groups should not be lumped together simply because they are all still working or seeking work.

The uncomfortable question: why must people work longer if they are living longer?
Here is the paradox.
We celebrate increased life expectancy. We encourage active ageing. We tell people that 60 is the new 40. We raise retirement and re-employment ages.
But are we extending people's productive years, or extending the number of years they must earn an income to survive?

We risk creating a society in which people are encouraged to live longer, but are not always adequately prepared financially to enjoy those additional years.
A longer life should be an opportunity, not merely a longer financial obligation.
Of course, continuing to work can provide purpose, friendship, structure and physical activity. We should never assume that every senior wants to retire.
But neither should we romanticise working into one's seventies when the underlying reason is financial necessity.
The real achievement is not simply enabling seniors to work longer. It is giving them the freedom to choose whether to work longer.

11/10/2026

Slowly slowly……

I was having my morning coffee just now and suddenly life handed me a teaching illustration. 😂
What strikes me most about this cup is this:
When a cup breaks, we often imagine it shattering into pieces. But here, the body of the cup survived while the handle broke away. #
The cup can still hold the coffee. But the part that enabled me to hold the cup comfortably has given way.
There is a powerful lesson here about relationships.

The Cup Is Whole, but the Handle Is Broken

A relationship can look whole but no longer feel connected
Look at the cup. Its body is still intact. It has not shattered into pieces. From a distance, someone might even think it is perfectly fine.
But its handle has broken off.
Isn't this true of some relationships?
A marriage can remain intact, but intimacy may have disappeared.
A family can sit around the same dinner table, but nobody feels safe enough to speak honestly.
Friends can continue meeting, yet the warmth and trust between them may be gone.
Colleagues can work together professionally while privately harbouring resentment.
The relationship still exists, but the connection that makes it comfortable and meaningful has broken.
We often measure the health of a relationship by whether people are still together. Perhaps we should also ask whether they are still connected.
Being together is not necessarily the same as being connected.

10/10/2026

This is an insightful article
Perhaps some Singaporeans are not rejecting success. They are rejecting the price they have been asked to pay for it.
That, to me, is the heart of this story.
When success becomes a race, somebody eventually asks: What's the point?
Singapore has built much of its success on hard work, education, competition, productivity and meritocracy. These have brought enormous benefits.
But every system designed to help people get ahead can also create pressure to keep getting ahead.
Get better grades. Get into a better school. Get a better job. Earn more. Buy a better home. Build a better retirement fund.
And then what?
The goalpost moves.
The moment you reach one milestone, another appears. You are no longer measuring your life against your own needs and aspirations. You are measuring it against what everyone else has achieved.
The rat race is peculiar because even when you win, you may still be running.
And perhaps the most troubling question is this: if we spend the best years of our lives chasing a better life, when exactly do we get to live that life?

10/10/2026

Cheong. Cheong. Cheong.

Something I've discovered about human nature is that when everyone is running, stopping to reflect can make you feel as though you are falling behind. Yet sometimes, stopping is precisely what we need to move forward in the right direction.
You know what troubles me most about this rat race?
It's not just that society keeps running. It's that we have normalised the running so much that we rarely question it anymore.
A child gets into a good school. We celebrate, but immediately worry about the next examination.
A young adult gets a good job. We celebrate, but immediately think about the next promotion.
A family buys a home. We celebrate, but start worrying about upgrading.
We reach retirement age. Instead of asking what a meaningful life looks like now, we worry about whether we have accumulated enough.
Every destination becomes another starting line. Every achievement creates another expectation. And contentment keeps getting postponed.
That is the tragedy of more.
Yes. Now what?

Parents short on retirement funds may have more options if they have fully paid off their mortgage. Consider renting out a room or right-sizing and if all else fails, delay retirement while building their savings, says our guest on the Money Talks podcast.
https://cna.asia/4hEFwJS