The ADD Coach

06/14/2020

What strange times these are. Between sheltering in place for months due to COVID-19 and the protests in our streets over racial injustice, we are all a bit shaken up or worse. My mom used to say, “this too shall pass” when anything bad happened. But will it? The virus numbers are going up in many states as we start to reopen our non-essential businesses and some of us head back to work. And who knows what spikes will occur following the protests? That answer is still a couple of weeks away.

The unemployment numbers may have inched down last month, but it’ll be quite a while until all those who lost their jobs will be gainfully employed again, if ever. And, on top of all this, in a few months, we’re having a presidential election. Yikes! It’s a lot for anyone to cope with. But those of us with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) have it a bit worse. We need scheduled activities and structure in our lives. We need things to go as planned. Surprises of any kind are not always welcome, and bad surprises can throw us off kilter, for sure.

So what to do? My son is practicing meditation daily during these uncertain times. It keeps him centered and rids his mind of the current clutter. He also works out most days at home with free weights, or he walks, runs or cycles. This keeps him healthy and strong, just in case...And he says it also keeps his mind clear and allows him to focus on what’s important to him. (Working remotely and caring for his new puppy.)

We are likely to have a new normal going forward, but that doesn’t mean you can’t self-structure and take care of your mind and body. It’s a bit easier if you’re working or working remotely. But even if you’re not working now, you can certainly create a schedule for your weekdays. Fill your days with important things you need to accomplish, whether it’s applying to new jobs, working at your current job, exercising, meditating, shopping for groceries and preparing and eating healthy meals.

This will keep your mind and body in a better place if and when the fog we’re all under now lifts.

Stay safe, everyone!
- Lori

10/21/2018

It’s been quite a while since I posted here. Life gets complicated sometimes and priorities change. But I’m always brought back to my core belief that if you can keep things in perspective, you’ll usually come out alright.

I speak to my adult son often. He has taught me a lot over the years, from how to accept that his “bad behavior” was ADD-driven to how he can use his “affliction” to his benefit.

I used to, only half-jokingly, point out the building that houses the local jail to him every time we passed it while driving on the 880 freeway in Oakland. It wasn’t a threat. But it was a warning that if you don’t work as hard as you can to overcome the hurdles presented by ADD, you could wind up there. I’m sure he doesn’t even remember that (at least I prefer to think that), but I think he internalized it. Was it a scare tactic on my part? Sure. Because I was scared of the possibility of him failing in life. It made me push him harder and hope that he would push himself. Certainly there are other and maybe kinder ways. But I know he got it.

I’m so proud of what he’s been able to accomplish. He graduated from college and in the five short years since, he has developed a successful career using the best of his personality and yes, even the behaviors we attributed to ADD. He can force himself to focus on what he needs to at work in order to reap the benefits of doing work that he enjoys. It’s a fair compromise. But I really believe his ADD has helped him more than not.

It always surprised me when a child with ADD couldn’t concentrate long enough to do his or her math homework or to write an essay for English class, but could focus for hours on building a masterpiece out of LEGOs or on playing catch in the street, always begging for one more throw. But channeling the ability to focus on and succeed at what you love to other areas of your life where you simply have to perform is a skill that one can develop over time and with good coaching.

I like to think that with my coaching and his will, my son was able to accomplish that. He knows himself well and he uses parts of his personality to succeed at work, but does not allow the other parts to impede his success. It’s working for him and I couldn’t be more proud.

To those of you who kept checking back here for a post, my apologies for taking so long. But I’m back!

06/12/2012

http://www.businessinsider.com/why-business-needs-people-with-aspergers-syndrome-attention-deficit-disorder-and-dyslexia-2012-6

The marketplace is kind to misfits.

06/11/2012

THE BEST IS YET TO COME! Some of us with ADD/ADHD think this is all there is, and we will never be able to focus better, be more organized, more accomplished, or more successful in life. Not true, my friends. You have to want to improve, of course, but wanting, alone, isn't enough. It's taking that very first step, no matter how small, towards making a change, whether it's buying a calendar or planner, or opening up the one you bought a month ago to see how to use it, or deciding to take your meds (if some have been prescribed for you), or calling or writing to a coach for information, or making that first appointment with a coach you spoke to 6 months ago. Step by step, you make the changes necessary to move you towards a happier, more successful life. So is the best yet to come? ABSOLUTELY!

05/24/2012

What roles do you "play" in your life?

Dad/Mom? Husband/Wife? Girlfriend/Boyfriend? Brother/Sister? Son/Daughter? Single person looking for love? Pet owner? Lawyer? Administrator? Claims Adjuster? Sports Writer? Internet Marketer? Salesman? Artist? Musician? Creative genius? Technical Wizard?

Are there goals you'd like to accomplish related to these roles?

Perhaps you'd like to make your spouse or significant other happier. Or maybe you'd like to improve the bottom line in your business. Be a better parent. Resolve more of your cases without litigation. Write about a sport you haven't covered. Sell more of your product. Learn a new instrument. Find your soulmate.

Tackling these goals is easier when you think about their relationship to the roles you play.

Start by listing out your roles and write at least one long-term goal for each. Then determine one activity you can do in the next week towards accomplishing that goal. For example, you know your spouse enjoys nature. You want to make her happier. Schedule a hike or a bike ride or a walk around a beautiful lake with her for this weekend. How about picking up the phone one day this week to speak to opposing counsel on one of your cases instead of writing a lawyerly letter? Maybe you can resolve one additional case without litigation! Attend a MeetUp group or grab a friend and head out to somewhere people congregate and start looking for the love of your life. Take your kids to a park and play with them this weekend. Don't just watch them play! They will think you walk on water!

Do something towards your goal for one or more of your roles every week and start chipping away. Pretty soon, you'll realize that your goals may not be as difficult to accomplish as you thought! Good luck!

05/09/2012

http://www.adders.org/news166_adam_levine_promotes_online_adult_adhd_test.htm

Adam Levine Lead Singer Of Maroon 5 Promotes Online Adult ADHD Test

04/27/2012

Watch for my new website coming soon at divine-focus.com.

03/20/2012

Find out how ADD might be affecting your life.

More importantly, find out ways that you can learn to manage
your challenges more effectively! RSVP at our Meetup Page
http://www.meetup.com/The-ADD-Coach/

Free informational workshop
Saturday, April 14th
10am - 11:15am

"I pretty much know what I have to get done at work each day, but then emails pop up and I read them and respond and the phone rings and I have to answer and then one of my kids texts me and before I know it, the day is over and I've gotten nothing done."

Is this you?

The ADD Coach

03/12/2012

Do you scramble to find your keys, wallet, glasses, or other small items before you leave the house? How often are you late because you can't find what you need? Try placing a small basket by the front door or in another conspicuous place you pass when you come into and go out of your house or apartment. Get in the habit of dropping the items you search for the most into the basket when you come home. Unless you have a dog who is a thief, the items will likely be there when it's time to go out again! Simple, right?

02/20/2012

Do you have great ideas, but you can never seem to get them off the ground because you get bogged down in the details? So many of us have this problem. What can you do to move things along? Try this:

1. Find a willing and capable partner to help you plan - a good friend, a spouse or significant other, or a coach
2. Be accountable to this partner - report back on your progress at least once a week
3. Stick to the plan and watch your ideas slowly turn into completed projects!

Let us know how it goes!

01/09/2012

sharalyn lawrence, I like the way you have turned a huge goal (learning to play the guitar) into a series of doable
steps! #3 (contact guitar teacher) sounds like a great first step. Let's break that into three smaller steps.

#1 find the contact info for the teacher
#2 look at your calendar to determine two good times to meet
#3 contact the guitar teacher and ask if either of those times work.

You are on your way!

01/03/2012

Turn Big Resolutions into Small Tasks!

One of the biggest problems for many people
is the ability to stay organized and on track.

Big Resolutions have a tendency to get delayed because they require blocks of time, effort and concentrated focus. It’s easier to go out and walk the dog than it is to address your weight issue.

Why? Because it feels like we've accomplished something!
It gets crossed off our 'to do' list, but no headway was made towards your Big Resolution. In fact, perhaps you put that item on your to do list after you did it, just so you could cross it off!

How to reach your Big Goals.
Break a huge goal into small, manageable tasks. A series of
smaller tasks is not as overwhelming and gives
you a true feeling of real accomplishment!