Transforming Space, Self, and Loss

06/05/2026

As women, we’ve been conditioned to be Rescuers. We see when someone is struggling or stuck and jump in to help. We call it kindness, but have you noticed how often people push that help away?

I've learned that people don't like to be rescued.

Rescuing is heavy work because it requires you to be "one-up." It assumes you have the answers they lack. It assumes they are casualties of their circumstances.

Eventually, that weight weakens your own energy, and you find yourself resenting the very people you’re trying to help--AND/OR they end up resenting you!

You need a mindset shift from Rescuer to Coach.

A Coach doesn't carry the other person's load. She holds the space. She listens. She might offer a new perspective or a suggestion, but she has no attachment to whether it is taken.
She trusts the other person’s wisdom as much as her own.

When you move into the role of the Coach, you get your vitality back. You stop rescuing people and start standing as a true support. You realize that you can be of service without losing your own center.

How much energy would you get back today if you stopped trying to rescue people?

I'm ready to help you shift out of Rescue mode and take back your energy.

06/04/2026

I'm thrilled to share my interview with author Robin Eriksson about her chapter in the new book Awakened Feminine.

I’m thrilled to introduce you to my dear friend, priestess sister and author Robin Eriksson who wrote a wonderful chapter in The Awakened Feminine , an anthology launching May 26th alongside a companion volume, The Awakened Masculine .  A prairie girl at heart, Robin Eriksson has liv

06/04/2026

For those who need to figure out what to do with your old photos, slides, videos, here's the guide you've been looking for!

If you’ve ever taken one of my decluttering and organizing courses, you’ve met my amazing sister Dorothy Tucker who helps families preserve their meaningful memories.  Well, Dorothy recently published an easy-to-follow guide that will help you sort, digitize, preserve and share ALL your pre

06/04/2026

I grew up with unacknowledged abuse in our home. I married at 18, with dreams of co-creating a happy family. Ten years later, I felt trapped inside an abusive marriage with four young children. And then I was given a painful gift: he had an affair and filed for divorce.

In the divorce support group, the facilitator spoke about taking responsibility for our situation. I waited until everyone else had left to share my experience of abuse and was shocked at his response: “Perhaps someday you will be able to take responsibility for your part of this co-creation.”

A year after the divorce was final, I found myself in a similar situation with the man I was dating… and as I sat wondering why I always ended up choosing the wrong guy, the facilitators words echoed in my consciousness: “Perhaps someday you will be able to take responsibility for your part of this co-creation.”

It took decades for me to fully unpack my childhood wounds, give myself permission to FEEL LIKE A VICTIM, and then gain the skills (like setting boundaries, finally, in my 40s) to move beyond survival.

I eventually realized I had been living my life at the bottom of the triangle of suffering. ��I was watching for a rescuer, bracing for persecution, waiting, longing for someone or something that could make my “happy family” dreams come true (including the child support that never came).

The Triangle of suffering is real, and most of us don't even know we're in it. We inherited our position from our families before we could speak. Victim. Rescuer. Persecutor. We rotate between all three — sometimes within the same hour.

But here is something you may not know:
Victim → Survivor → Creator isn't a straight line. It's a reclamation.

It starts the moment you stop pointing the finger outward and get curious about the one pointing inward — your inner critic, your inner martyr, the voice that says "this is just how it is."

That voice isn't the truth. It's a pattern. And patterns can change.

Surviving means you made it through a loss or series of losses. Creating means you decide what comes next.

You are not the role you learned to play. You are the one who can choose to leave the stage.

If this is landing for you — you're already further along than you think. 💙

05/30/2026

"Good" and "Evil" are concepts that most of us learn early in life. What I didn't understand until my 50s was how Good and Evil were mapped onto the continuum of human emotion and experience.

In this reel, I share what I learned about how old stories (remember the prophet Job from the Old Testament?) create labels of "bad" for uncomfortable experiences and "good" for comfortable ones.

I now believe humans are meant to go up and down the continuum of human emotion and experience with ease and grace, to learn from our losses as well as our gains, to expand our emotional maturity as we feel gratitude and grief and everything in between.

But instead, we spend our lives trying to live only in the top half. We strive for a "seeming perfection" that leaves us exhausted and riddled with shame.

This isn't just a philosophical shift. It is a somatic one. In my work with Transforming Self and Transforming Loss, I see the result of this internal split every day.

But here is the truth the Western paradigm forgets: You cannot be whole if you are at war with half of your experience.

When we bury the "uncomfortable" - the grief, the rage, the deep longing, we don't get rid of it. Feelings buried alive never die. We just turn our shame into a shadow that we eventually project onto the world around us.

This dualism is the root of the systemic harms we see in our history and in our headlines today.

Transformation begins when we stop trying to judge our experiences and our feelings and instead begin to inhabit the full continuum of being mortal.

To end the internal split today:
• Begin to ask "Where does this emotion live in my body?"
• Refuse to call your discomfort "evil" or "bad." It is simply a set of emotions on the continuum.
• Give yourself grace for being fully human and feeling all of your emotions.

I am holding space for those ready to undo the conditioning and reclaim their wholeness.

Watch the video below to hear more about this Western split.

05/29/2026

Our culture has a beautiful way of honoring the Survivor. We celebrate the fierce strength it takes to make it through the fire, the collapse, or the heartbreak. And that honor is necessary.

But the Survivor story is not the endgame!

When you stay in Survivor mode, you are still defined by what happened to you. You are cautiously referring back to the wreckage, bracing to ensure it doesn't happen again. You are safe, but you aren't yet free. You are managing your life, but you aren't yet leading it.

The destination isn't survival. It's creation.

A Creator doesn't deny their past. They don't pretend the grief isn't there or that the systems around them aren't failing. They see the truth clearly. But the Creator realizes that though they may not have chosen their circumstances, they can always choose their response.

They stop asking, "Why did this happen?" and start asking, "What am I ready to build from here?"

When we sit together for a Personal Clearing session, we'll move your energy off that bridge of survival and into the Creator. We'll clear the energy of the old stories so you can decide what to focus your life-force on next.

Survival got you here. Creation will take you where you are meant to go.

What would you begin to build today if you were no longer defined by what you’ve survived?

05/25/2026

We were born to experience the full range of what it means to be mortal.

But we have inherited a paradigm that tries to cut that experience in half.

For centuries, Western conditioning has taught us a dangerous dualism:
Everything above the midline - the pleasant, the easy, the light was called "good."
Everything below the midline - the grief, the loss, the rage was called "evil."

This division is the root of our deepest stuckness.

When we judge and condemn ourselves or others for our misfortunes, we stop being present. We start striving for a perfection that doesn't exist.

That striving leads to shame. Shame leads us to bury the "uncomfortable" parts of our soul. And what we bury, we eventually project onto others.

This isn't just a personal problem. It is a systemic one. This same paradigm of "Good vs. Evil" resulted in the horrors of colonization, white supremacy, and slavery. These are the heavy losses we have all inherited.

In my work with Transforming Self and Loss, we do the hard, holy work of undoing this conditioning.

We realize that every emotion is valid. Every feeling is a helpful messenger.

Until we are willing to feel an uncomfortable emotion, we cannot grieve it. And until we grieve it, we cannot heal it.

Transformation happens when we stop operating from the patriarchal, religious, and colonial mindset that uncomfortable emotions are bad.

To reclaim your wholeness today:
• Identify the Bifurcation: Notice where you are trying to be "perfect" instead of really feeling.
• Validate the Uncomfortable: When grief or anger arises, refuse to call it "bad." Call it "information."
• Acknowledge one thing (personal or collective) that you have been avoiding feeling. Give it a place to be seen.

I am holding space for those ready to move beyond dualism and inhabit their full humanity.

If you are ready to clear the static of shame and find the resonance of your true identity, my door is open for private mentorship.

05/23/2026

Have you ever felt like you’re having the same challenges over and over again, just with different people?

Perhaps you've unconsciously stepped into the "Triangle of Suffering" (aka in addiction circles as the Drama Trauma Triangle).

In my work with Transforming Self, I’ve found that this suffering often comes from playing a game of musical chairs with three specific roles:

1. The Rescuer (The Fixer)
This is the one who always tries to save the day. Rescuers feel vital when they are needed. Eventually, the Rescuer gets tired of carrying the weight and burns out, then they are at risk of falling into the other roles.

2. The Persecutor (The Blamer)
This is the one who points fingers at others. They use criticism or anger to protect themselves from feeling their own pain. They think they are being "strong," but blaming harms your relationships longterm.

3. The Victim (The One-Down)
This is the narrowest point on the triangle. It’s where we feel powerless, like life is happening to us and we have no say. We look "up" at the Rescuers to save us or the Persecutors to blame. We feel stuck.

Here is the trick: No one wins this game.

And this triangle is sticky: once you step into one of these roles, it's hard to get off.

When we rotate through these roles (sometimes in a matter of minutes), it creates internal pain, no matter where on the triangle you are.

Transformation begins the moment you recognize the seat you are currently sitting in, and make a deliberate decision to raise your frequency from:
* Victim to Creator (sing, dance, draw, any act of creation will do)
* Rescuer to Coach (stop trying to fix and just hold space)
* Persecutor to Challenger (you can say "i'm going to challenge that perspective..." in a loving way and with ZERO attachment to outcome)

(these up-levels come from David Emerald's book The Power of TED*)

Do you recognize your default position within the triangle?

I am holding space for those ready to quit the musical chairs and inhabit their true authority.

If you are ready to find your own center, my Personal Clearing sessions are open. Sometimes it takes a little help to really see where you are, and take action to create a new path forward. Let's work together!

05/15/2026

There is a specific kind of exhaustion that comes from living in a space that has become too narrow for your soul.

This is the fatigue we experience when we are stuck in Victim Mode.

When you are the victim, you feel like life is happening to you. You feel at the effect of everyone else’s choices, moods, and demands.

In my private work with clients, the pain is tangible when someone is stuck in victim mode.

Feeling stuck, feeling like you have no good options, that you are controlled by someone or something more powerful than you.

When you are in this "one-down" position, you feel less worthy than the people around you. You feel dependent, even for your basic emotional needs. You feel like there is no way out because the walls of your own life are closing in. I’ve been there.

I'll tell you a secret.

The first step out of victim mode is to stop resisting it.

We spend so much energy fighting the fact that we feel like a victim. We try to "bypass" the pain or "positive-think" our way out of the narrow spot. But whatever we resist, we stay stuck inside.

Transformation happens when we finally stand still at the bottom of that V and say: "This is where I am. I feel powerless right now."

In that moment of radical honesty, resistance dissolves and clarity arrives.

Through Personal Clearing, we dismantle the internal stories that keeps you stuck in victim mode. We stop the search for an external savior and we meet the Inner Knower who has been there all along.

You move from being "at the effect" of your life to being the Sovereign of it.

I am holding space for the women ready to leave the narrowness of the V and inhabit their true authority.

Let's stop resisting and move into empowerment together.

05/11/2026

Today was a wonderful, 24th wedding anniversary! I am so grateful for our life together and for nature’s beauty. It’s been five days since my last eye surgery and my vision is improving every day!