The Awareness Studio

The Awareness Studio Finding serenity, power, and freedom through relationships, recovery, and spiritual path.

05/31/2026

Have you ever felt invalidated when you told someone your feelings were hurt?

You say, “That hurt my feelings.”

They dismiss it with,
“You’re overreacting.”
Or, “I didn’t mean to.”
Or, “It’s your problem, not mine.”

That hurts even more.
It can feel confusing.
And clarifying.

I once heard Marianne Williamson
share a similar experience.
Her response?
“I’m sure you did not intend to hurt me.
The problem is, you did not intend to love me.”

You did not intend to love me. Wow.

When self-worth is low, we question ourselves.
When it’s high, we notice the other person’s behavior.
And we act accordingly.

Sharing your feelings is vulnerability.
It invites closeness.
Their response either builds trust… or breaks it.

Vulnerability needs two things:
Receptivity… and safety.
Without safety, it’s not a viable relationship.
Without receptivity, you don’t get connection. You get rejection.

Sometimes this can be talked through.
Sometimes, not.
So, you have to check yourself – what are you choosing here?
Do you love yourself enough
to deal powerfully with that kind of behavior?

Follow me for more awareness.
And when you’re ready to raise your self-esteem, you know where to find me.

🧡 Patty Farinola

Visit https://theawarenessstudio.com/ to learn more about my work.

Children do not grow up and randomly distance themselves “for no reason.”Most adults who pull away from their family of ...
05/25/2026

Children do not grow up and randomly distance themselves “for no reason.”

Most adults who pull away from their family of origin spent years trying to preserve the relationship first.

Trying to explain themselves.
Trying to feel heard.
Trying to feel emotionally safe.
Trying to have needs, feelings, boundaries, or individuality
without guilt, punishment, criticism, instability, or emotional withdrawal.

Children are biologically wired to seek closeness with their caregivers.
So distance is intentional, often necessary. Not casual.

And when maturity finally brings autonomy, many people begin making decisions based on something they could not fully prioritize as children: emotional safety.

That does not mean parents must be perfect.
It does not mean conflict never happens.
It does mean that relationships remain close in adulthood must be built on consistent safety, accountability, warmth, respect, and repair over time.

Guilt and shame cannot create genuine closeness.
Control and criticism cannot create intimacy.
Access is not the same thing as connection.

And many adult children are not withholding love.
They are recovering from the cost of abandoning themselves to keep the relationship intact.

If you are an adult child of an emotionally immature, narcissistic, neglectful, or abusive parent and are trying to unravel the role you learned to survive in, you do not have to navigate that process alone.

Healing happens through safe, loving relationships. Through being seen clearly and caringly. Feeling heard and understood. Treated differently than what you may have learned to expect.

Healing often involves reconnecting with your truth: your needs, emotions, opinions, boundaries, and sense of self outside of old survival patterns.

If you would like support in that process, feel free to reach out to me about counseling.

🧡 Patty Farinola

Visit https://theawarenessstudio.com/ to learn more about my work.

05/21/2026

Is codependence messing with your relationships, too?

4 signs:

1. You go back and forth between needing closeness and pulling away.
2. You don’t just have trouble expressing emotions, you struggle to even know what you’re feeling.
3. You feel uncomfortable when other people have a problem, and
4. You feel compelled, almost forced, to help.

1. Concerns about closeness arise from a deep loneliness that competes with the fear of intimacy or the fear of abandonment.

2. Struggling with emotional awareness happens when you grew up being told what to feel, or, what not to feel.

3-4. The discomfort of seeing someone in pain, along with the urgent drive to help, is based in feeling responsible for everyone else’s happiness.

Codependence is a coping mechanism many of us had to develop to survive a dysfunctional family.
And it is all too common today. I think it’s epidemic.

It causes problems in relationships, and it perpetuates the feeling of not belonging.
So we create our belonging by being helpful.
We need to be needed, and we mistake being needed for being loved.

You deserve more than that.
When you’re ready for healthy relationships, you know where to find me.

🧡 Patty Farinola
Visit https://theawarenessstudio.com/ to learn more about my work.

PS: To learn more about codependence, I recommend Facing Codependence, by Pia Mellody. And the best characteristics list is in Codependent No More by Melody Beattie.

ymplex PTSD (CPTSD) is more common than you would expect. It results in strategies that help us survive a chaotic childh...
04/20/2026

ymplex PTSD (CPTSD) is more common than you would expect. It results in strategies that help us survive a chaotic childhood environment, but it wreaks havoc on life as an adult.

It is entirely possible to heal from this, to grow into a life that is happy, joyous, and free. I did it. You can, too. It takes time and effort, but you’re worth it.

When you are ready to change your life, you know where to find me.
🧡 Patty Farinola

Visit https://theawarenessstudio.com/ to learn more.

04/17/2026

Are you stuck in a difficult relationship?

If someone says they love you… but there’s no room for your experience inside of it, that’s probably a repeat of your past.

When you try to share that something they did felt hurtful, or ask for what you need, and it gets turned around, that’s gaslighting.

They’re making you the problem.

Blaming you for being too sensitive.
Or denying that that’s what they said.
Or they’re hurt because you brought it up.

So, you start to question your reality.

“Maybe I AM the issue.”
“Maybe I should just stay quiet.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t need or want that from them.”

This dynamic has a name. It’s called DARVO. Deny. Attack. Reverse Victim and Offender.

And many adult children of emotionally immature parents had to learn to live with this growing up.
So now that It’s in your unconscious programming, you’ll attract it without meaning to.

You can turn this around by realizing that:
Wanting to be heard is not disrespectful.
Naming a painful impact is not an attack.
And asking for what you need is not being too much.

A real relationship makes space for BOTH people.
It’s reciprocal. And that’s your first clue.

When you’re ready to have great relationships, you know where to find me.
🧡 Patty Farinola

Visit https://theawarenessstudio.com/ to learn more.

When you start setting boundaries, the guilt can feel overwhelming.That’s a normal part of healing from codependence.You...
04/13/2026

When you start setting boundaries, the guilt can feel overwhelming.
That’s a normal part of healing from codependence.

You were taught, somewhere along the way,
that other people’s feelings are your responsibility.

So when someone feels disappointed, hurt, or upset…
your system doesn’t read it as “they’re having a reaction.”

It reads it as: “I did something wrong.”

That’s toxic guilt. AKA codependent guilt.

For many people, it was learned early on.
So of course setting a boundary now feels hard.

You’re not just changing a behavior.
You’re going against something that once helped you belong. To survive.

So here’s the shift:
You can care about someone’s feelings without taking responsibility for them.
You can acknowledge their disappointment without abandoning your boundary.
You can be compassionate with them…without losing yourself.

Sometimes, part of this work is recognizing the difference between someone having feelings
and someone using those feelings to pressure, guilt, or control you.

That awareness is not unkind. It’s clarity.

You’re not learning how to be less caring.
You’re learning how to unlearn the kind of guilt that taught you to leave yourself behind.

When you’re ready to stop buying tickets for those guilt trips, you know where to find me.
🧡 Patty Farinola

Visit https://theawarenessstudio.com/ to learn more.

04/09/2026

Here’s what no one is saying about the loneliness epidemic.

We keep blaming Covid… technology… working from home.
Those matter. But they’re not the root.

As a minister and counselor, I promise that loneliness isn’t just about other people.
It’s about disconnection within.

Three missing pieces.

First, healing.
Old wounds cause a deep-seated loneliness that interferes with our ability to connect with others. When you haven’t healed what shaped you, you can be surrounded by other people and still feel completely alone.

Second, connection with yourself.
When you’re always performing, adapting, or pushing your needs aside, you abandon your truth and lose touch with who you really are. No external relationship can replace that.

Third, connection with something greater.
Call it God, Spirit, Source… whatever resonates. When life is disconnected from meaning, loneliness is a given, because your soul knows you belong to something much bigger.

As Paula Reeves said,
“If you ignore what matters, it becomes what’s the matter with you.”

Healing, connection with self, and connection with Higher Order…that’s what really matters.
Follow for more awareness. And when you’re ready to live a fulfilling life, you know where to find me.

🧡 Patty Farinola

Visit https://theawarenessstudio.com/ to learn more about counseling with me.


This quote is about doing the inner work of healing, growth, and personal empowerment. What you resist, persists? Nope –...
04/06/2026

This quote is about doing the inner work of healing, growth, and personal empowerment.

What you resist, persists? Nope – even worse. It festers until you hear the message.

We are meant to be whole, complete, joyous, generous, kind, and compassionate.

It’s the inner work that gets us there.

For more on this, be on the lookout for my next reel, Loneliness Epidemic.

And when you’re ready to explore what matters, you know where to find me.
🧡 Patty Farinola

Visit https://theawarenessstudio.com/ to learn more.

04/02/2026

Your independence might not be the strength you think it is.
It might be codependence.

We all recognize the people pleaser.
The perfectionist.
The over-giver
The over-achiever.

But codependence shows up in other ways, too.
Sometimes it withdraws. Has walls. Uses anger to control. And stays silent to self-protect.

It also shows up as HYPER-independence.
“I don’t need anyone.”
“I am fine on my own.”
“I can handle this myself.”

That may look strong, or even feel strong,
but if your entire identity is built around not needing others,
you are still organized around them.

Hyper-independence:
Avoids depending on others.
Pushes people away before they can disappoint or reject you.
Shuts down before you can be hurt.
Uses anger to create distance.
And uses that distance as a way to feel in control.

This is not freedom. It’s armor.
Armor works. It provides a sense of safety,
but it costs you connection, belonging, and intimacy.

If you want to understand this pattern more deeply,
my favorite place to start is the book Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody.
It will transform your understanding of inner strength, and teach you how to develop it.

Follow me for more awareness, and when you are ready to live a powerful life, you know where to find me.

🧡 Patty Farinola

Visit https://theawarenessstudio.com/ to learn more about counseling with me.


Having a sense of purpose is one of the most important – and often overlooked – components of the healing journey. Knowi...
03/27/2026

Having a sense of purpose is one of the most important – and often overlooked – components of the healing journey.

Knowing that your life has meaning and that you make a difference is not just inspiring, uplifting, and motivating, it keeps you going even in the most difficult of times.

We are meant to master our own lives, to be the master of the art of living.
Are you there yet?

When you’re ready to live a powerful life, you know where to find me.
🧡 Patty Farinola

Visit https://theawarenessstudio.com/ to learn more.

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