03/18/2023
In Jan ‘22, with my newborn back home being taken care of by family, I was sitting in the hospital with my pump, desperately trying to keep up my supply after being told my 2yo had cancer. I couldn’t eat without getting sick, my body was in such shock I hurt all over. And almost immediately my supply dwindled down to nothing. I tried to pump and was getting about 1oz each time. Even so I was pumping, storing in the hospital fridge and having family members come pick it up to take to Haddie. I was told that whenever she drank the milk I was sending from the hospital, she was screaming after. I found out later you can actually pass stress hormones through breastmilk and I don’t doubt that’s what was happening.
It became obvious that putting her on formula was the best option, and she continued to thrive and grow and live her best healthy little life on formula.
After breastfeeding her brothers for 16 months each, my breastfeeding relationship with Haddie was just another casualty of many that cancer brought to our life.
Months after weaning, it suddenly hit me that I should have saved some breastmilk. I’d had keepsake jewelry made when I weaned Nash, and with the abrupt and sad ending of nursing Haddie, I so badly wanted something to hold onto that commemorated that short and special time. I thought about it multiple times a week. Just wishing I’d saved one little container.
Months later again, as we prepared another house move I was emptying an old bag out and saw it- a tiny little 1oz bottle of milk I had pumped. It had sat in a bag for over a year, unopened, unrefrigerated, and somehow it’s FINE (isn’t breastmilk crazy?!) Fine is relative, of course I mean not a solid block of mold and not that it’s fit for consumption lol.
It felt like one of many God winks I’ve gotten this year, just a little reminder that He knows and cares for my smallest desires.
I’m sharing- firstly because many women have had painful or unexpected weaning experiences and I know can relate. Secondly because 🤓 can you believe how cool breastmilk is? And lastly, can you please tag or share your fave recs for breastmilk jewelry businesses? I really want to make something special ❤️