01/19/2026
Laurie Rylander
So true!! My comment follows Heidi's well written essay!
Heidi Schlenker
๐๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ง๐๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐๐ฒ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐โฆ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ฌ.
For almost 43 years, Iโve been the โyesโ person. The reliable one. The builder. The one who shows up early, stays late, and somehow becomes everyoneโs emergency contactโฆ even when the emergency is self-inflicted and smells suspiciously like โI procrastinated.โ Iโve spent a long time thinking being a good person meant being available, flexible, accommodating, and quietly evaporating my own needs so other people could feel comfortable.
And Iโm not ashamed of that. It built my work ethic, my reputation, and my business. It also built the delusion that Iโm supposed to feel guilty for charging for my time and knowledgeโฆ like Iโm running a nonprofit called Heidiโs Free Labor & Emotional Support Hotline. Spoiler alertโฆ we are closed. Permanently. ๐
Iโm in a different season now. Life does not need to revolve around always serving other people. I need to serve myself tooโฆ and actually enjoy what Iโve built. Thatโs not selfishโฆ thatโs survival. Thatโs sanity. Thatโs me realizing Iโm not a vending machine that dispenses custom work when you smack the side hard enough.
๐๐จ ๐ก๐๐ซ๐โ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ฉ: I will charge for my time and expertise without guilt. What I do is custom, detailed, and takes real skill, real focus, and real hours. If my pricing isnโt within your budget, I genuinely understandโฆ but I will not be guilt-tripped, shame-shuffled, or emotionally blackmailed into discounting the value of my work. Iโm not doing โexposure payments.โ I canโt pay my bills in compliments and good intentions. My mortgage does not accept โbut Iโm a single momโ as currency.
๐๐ฒ ๐ฌ๐๐ก๐๐๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ฌ๐๐ก๐๐๐ฎ๐ฅ๐. A failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine. Iโm one personโฆ not a sweatshop, not a staff, and definitely not a magical creature that thrives on chaos and caffeine. If you need to be moved up in the schedule, that may be possibleโฆ but it costs extra. That isnโt personalโฆ thatโs basic math and basic fairness. Priority costs more. Thatโs how Earth works.
๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค ๐ซ๐๐ช๐ฎ๐ข๐ซ๐๐ฌ ๐ฉ๐๐ญ๐ข๐๐ง๐๐. Itโs not McDonaldโs. You donโt pull up to the window like, โYeah can I get a logo, a flyer, and a website by 4pm with extra sparkle, hold the invoice.โ No. When multiple orders are all competing for the same time and attention, things take time because I refuse to rush and deliver something mediocre just to satisfy someoneโs impatience. If youโre working with me, youโre paying for qualityโฆ not chaos. I donโt do โpanic productionโ anymore. Iโve retired from the sport of last-minute olympic suffering.
๐๐ง๐ ๐ฒ๐๐ฌโฆ ๐ ๐ก๐๐ฏ๐ ๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ ๐จ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ซ๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ฌ. Shocking. I know. Apparently it needs to be said out loud because some people act like business owners spawn behind a laptop and only exist to answer messages at 11:47 PM like a haunted customer service ghost. Iโve spent the better part of the last 17 years working seven days a week. If I want weekends off nowโฆ I will take them. Rest isnโt lazinessโฆ itโs maintenance. Even racehorses get days off. Calm your nervous system.
๐๐จ๐ฐโฆ ๐ฅ๐๐ญ ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ซ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ฅ ๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ซ ๐๐๐๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐ง๐ฒ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ก: I enjoy conversing with people on the internet. I actually love good conversation. Questions, feedback, connecting with peopleโฆ that part is fun. That part is the point. Iโm not โaboveโ peopleโฆ Iโm just allergic to nonsense.
What I do not enjoy is being dragged into circular arguments or being asked to re-explain things that are already answered in the postโฆ because someone wants to nitpick, debate, or start an Olympic-level comment war like itโs a competitive sport. If the information is written right there, Iโm not rewriting it in the comments five different ways for five different personalities and one person who โjust thinks itโs weird.โ
๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ ๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐๐ข๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ง๐ฒ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐. If something is written, itโs because I meant it. You have eyesโฆ use them. Iโm not arguing with strangers who read one sentence, ignore the other twelve, and then sprint into my notifications like a confused raccoon with WiFi. Life is too short to argue with people on the internet or pretend their opinions matter when all they want to do is complain, be nasty, or act brand new because they donโt understand something. Iโm not available for emotional head games, manipulative messaging, or disrespect disguised as โa question.โ
๐๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ๐งโ๐ญ ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐โฆ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ซ.๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ ๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐๐ข๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ง๐ฒ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐. This is me protecting my time, my energy, and my peace so I can keep producing excellent work without burning out like a cheap candle from Dollar Tree. The people who respect you wonโt argue with the boundaries that keep you healthy. They wonโt need special exceptions, constant access, or a private TED Talk explaining why you deserve to be treated like a human being.
If youโve supported my work, trusted me with your projects, and treated me with basic respect while I build what you needโฆ thank you. I appreciate you more than you know. This is me continuing forward with higher standardsโฆ less guiltโฆ fewer emergenciesโฆ and a life that actually belongs to me too. ๐ค
One last thing... I'm really not into just spending my whole day teaching equine repro stuff over the internet for free. I'm happy to teach you, but I will be charging because helping you for free takes away my most valuable thing... TIME.
