06/23/2026
My my my. Well, here we are after another successful wrestling weekend. I hear it's raining back at Bank$ headquarters. That's gotta stink. I wouldn't know, because I'm up early taking phone calls and booking the next big talent at the next big event. I thought my girls and I should take a few days off to better prepare for the upcoming bout of success I'll be having. You know, my advisors were saying that I shouldn't have to suffer with the constant waddling by of the lobster-red, seafood buffet-swilling, vacationing riff-raff. I'm told I should buy my own stretch of beach. That way, I can better control the scenery. As appealing as that sounds, I'm thinking I should just get my own island. Bank$ Island does have a nice sound to it. Of course, I'll have six-star-rated accommodations so those with the means can visit briefly. Tommy Cruise and my pal Stevie Spielberg (I can call him Stevie) have already been asking when they can book a stay. Here's some free advice from an expert: if a coconut falls from a tree onto your head, sue somebody. If a bag of money hits you on the head, buy an island. Oh, and don't get any wise ideas. My island will have no coconut trees. Grab your rain jacket and get to work, ya bunch of losers! $